I love templates with lots of text space.

Rotten.net 2.0, Fucked up script.

2007-12-28T11:57:00.000+08:00

My five weeks haven't really been productive, maybe because I'm not doing things to help myself. I just feel bummed everyday, the moment I step into the ETG lab. I sort of envy this guy opposite me because his supervisor now and then visits him and assist him yet not spoon-feeding him. My supervisor on the other hand only gave me deliverables, keeps telling me asp.net is a simple drag and drop thing, blah blah.

Fuck that, time to help myself because it's the mid-presentation next week.

I'm sick, looks like New Year won't be happening for me after all.

zZz

2007-12-10T11:31:00.000+08:00

I've just been caught sleeping in lab again, by the manager of my department. Not very lucky these days, of 3 times I had napped, twice was busted. I don't know what ~~the fuck~~ in the blue world he does as a manager but he's always walking about like he's at a pasar malam, prey for dozers like me.

Me: "zZz... zZz..."

Manager: "HEY! You come to my office!"

Me: "zZz... ???"

Manager: "Take a seat."

Me: *sits*

Manager: "Why are you sleeping in class?"

Me: "Dozed."

Manager: "Many times already you know?"

Me: *thinks: Twice only what??* "Uh."

Manager: "Your name? Who is your supervisor?"

Me: "Yit Jing, Mr Cheong."

Manager: "Too free is it? Nothing to do, too boring or what?"

Me: "No, not really." (I was still in a daze from the sleep, so I lied. Could've just told him it's a fucking boring project I was doing.)

Manager: "Then why you sleep?!"

Me: *thinks: Thought I told you???* "Dozed."

Manager: "You work so you sleep late is it?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "2nd week only you like that, do you know I can fail and retain you?"

Me: "Yeah."

Manager: "Then why you sleep?!"

Me: *thinks: You asked me twice, I replied you twice, now what the fuck?!* "Tired, I try.. I mean there won't be a 3rd time."

Manager: "May I have your insurance you don't sleep in class again?"

Me: "Uh."

Shit, bad insurance I've made but can I say no? And I think he needs new specs, my groupmate had been AWOL-ing for quite a few times including today and he didn't even notice. Teaches me one thing - Absent myself before sleeping at the library.

10 weeks to go, still like a dodo.

Tuesdays to Fridays are the New Monday Blues

2007-12-04T09:00:00.000+08:00

During the third day of FYP, I was late by and hour and my DT found out because he made and early round to check on us. That's pretty bad so I've decided to lie low, by reaching earlier by 30mins. I was quite lucky since after Wed, because no spot checks were made.

But somehow, I think may not be that simple. Maybe right behind the nanny cam, we're all under close surveillance. To reach early, I've started to bring some of my morning to-dos into school instead. So if you sight any joker brushing his teeth and styling his hair in one of the block S toilets, it'll probably be me or some idiot that've read this.

Suggestions to reach school on time:

Breakfast in school
Wash your face in school
Style your hair in school
Do whatever make-up in school
Bathe in school

This guide however doesn't apply on girls because I think almost none of them would take half a step out of their door ungroomed.

Just now while I was listening to music on my earphones, my system was suddenly muted and I couldn't unmute it. Without much thought, I guessed it was the DT disabling my audio from his machine but it was later unmuted. I'll really go insane if music is banned. Anyway this guy in my lab always broadcasts his chinese pop on the mobile. Irritating, noisy but at least there is some sort of noise.

Last weekend, dad took me to some dirt tracks around my place. It was quite a rocky yet comfortable drive. You feel like sleeping when there's a constant and slow rocking motion. The scenery was good, although it was merely a closed sea. Rare sights were the building of a dam and a huge seagull, wingspan at about 80cm. I accidentally scractched the lorry's bumper while going down a steep turn. Time to get an official license.

Rock Bottom Motivation

2007-11-28T09:57:00.000+08:00

I think doing FYP is the worst phase of the 3-year polytechnic course, maybe for me at least.

It didn't start well that well, probably because I'm breaking all the rules.

I see other peeps' supervisors visitting them, giving them solid information and objective to be met but I only received bits and pieces and am not sure how to go about using this Microsoft Visual Web Developer. And my supervisor is so busy that not one of the calls gets through.

Yesterday, I was tired in the lab and decided to just put my head down for awhile but even before my chin touched my arm, the department manager barged in and stopped me. His office is at the corner and everytime he goes to the toilet, he'll be able to monitor us.

The project co-ord warned us not to cheat on the attendance because they've installed a camera to spy on us. So I got bored, and I went online to download GameBoy Advance emulator and a few ROMs, like Spidey 3, Ratatouille and the old school Pokemon. The reason I've decided to play that is NOT that I'm deprived of childhood but just because it doesn't require installation and it takes up only one small corner of the screen and so I wouldn't be nabbed that easily.

So I loaded the ROMs and played Pokemon red version. I took charmander as my first ~~pet~~ ~~monster~~ Pokemon and further on captured a pikachu and rattata before traning them each to around level 15. By then, I felt quite sleepy and I headed to the first gym. My game screen suddenly poofed and at first, I thought I closed it by accident or maybe some pop-up covered it. I toggled between the applications on my taskbar and found nothing but a small pop-up.

"Ho Yit Jing, playing of games are restricted in the lab, this is a first warning. Uninstall and remove any games from your computer immediately."

I now believe that my project co-ord wasn't lying. The DT can actually monitor EVERYTHING I DO ON MY COMPUTER. It's so secondary school man, nanny cams and all. I was about to curse about him to a friend on MSN when I thought that he might still be monitoring me (for all you know, he's monitoring me now). I turned a good boy, deleted the game and in a few seconds, another pop-up appeared.

"Ho Yit Jing, Thank You for your co-operation."

What the? First it was issued as a warning and now he thanked me as if I've done him a favour. Confusing. Maybe he needs students like me so job like his will be created.

This morning, I had no motivation to wake up and so I reached 45 minutes late at 9.15 am. The DT happen to reach earlier and marked me late. Think the management gonna be strict for a first few weeks. I'll try be good now and maybe strike later.

FYP = FUCKING YUCKY PROJECT

Ciao.

Emo already

2007-11-27T11:03:00.000+08:00

Hi, I'm back in school once again for Final Year Project (FYP).

Yesterday, after the briefing (which almost ended when I'd reached), I checked out where I was posted to and it was some unidentified initials "ETG". The moment I got it, I muttered under my breath, "holy shit." I was hoping hard that I'll be posted to something more MIT based, maybe flash animation or PHP but for 'E', I could only think of 'electronics' or 'engineering'. I'll prefer to work under my own MIT side though, because that'll mean more company, assistance and most importantly, more FUN. My project co-ordinator allocated breifing time at 1 and so I had to wait for 3 hours after my briefing. During that 3 hours of waiting, I prayed not to get some circuit board project or else I'll kill myself by stabbing myself with IC chips and resistors.

I went to my project co-ord's room and there was already some people waiting outside. That further confirmed that ETG is under School of Engineering because those peeps waiting look really 'engineery'. I couldn't explain why exactly, except for most of them look slightly more mature.

I later found out that I'm doing some sort of 'intelligent assessment system'. My supevisor came later and further briefed me and the other guy in the team on our job scopes. Mine is to improve on an equiz system using asp.net, the programming language that've always hated because it's not straight forward at all to me. The other guy from SEG got flash animation, alien to him too but WHY DIDN'T THEY ASSIGN THAT TO ME!? My supervisor spoke as though I can easily learn asp.net and even told me to teach the SEG guy Macromedia Flash. Sucks lah, don't think I'll be helping much until I've figure out asp.net (or if I ever will).

The lab kind of suck too. I'm using a P4 with 768 RAM only with some free additional virus package.

One line to sum it all up, I miss working at ST Electronics.

Complaints over, gonna do research to self-learn.

Doc, I feel a little ermmm... METALLIC today. MC please?

2007-11-06T08:38:00.000+08:00

This entry is dedicated to a Swedish, by the name of Roger Tullgren.

This is the man. He looks like any other able-bodied man, am I right?

I'm unsure if I should be impressdd, but he's actually financially aided by the government for a disability. I swear to God, it is called - Heavy metal addiction.

Heavy metal addiction? HEAVY METAL ADDICTION!

I wonder how did he ever got his music preference officially classified as a disability. That's not all. Was that Sweden want to promote The best part was that he was issued an official document granting him permission to do things that people usually couldn't. So besided benefits from the nation, he could...

1) Blast metal during work
2) Go MIA from work to attend gigs, with the condition that he'll make up for it later
3) Come in his matted hair, painted face, tatoos, chains and skulls because "Roger feels compelled to show his heavy metal style."

I think any one of them is more than enough to pwn job rules.

With these previleges, there are definitely job limitations as well. You can't put him to a full commitment job, an office deskjob so a magnanimous boss decided that he could hire and put him to good use.

OF ALL JOBS POSITION HE COULD ASSIGN, I WOULD SAY THE MANAGER IS INGENIOUS.

Because he made Uncle Roger the dishwasher. Of all things, the dishwasher.

If I was the manager and let's be realistic. I wouldn't hire him, someone who might be capable of this.

Guitars are harder than plates I believe. Picture him using all the utensils and crockery as drums and cymbals. You'll cry mama.

Harsh it may sound but as long as you believe, you are always useful and can excel in something else even more.

Brawling when I'm not around? This yamaha will be shoved up yours, and I'll break it inside you. FEAR ME!!! ROAR!!!

As for Roger, music is made because he plays for 2 bands. However in Singapore, I hope the government doesn't allow that else Ah Lians will go about having cam-whoring classified as a disability because "ii feAl sHo cOmPelLed tU sHoW mOi cAmZ wHoRe styLeXx woRz~!!" and tax payers will suffer. In my opinion, that should be grouped under self-obsession, referred to IMH with immediate effect.

Out.

Government responds to unemployment

2007-11-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm damn free now so here's an update.

I'm so glad that the call center I'm handling is being being outsourced to a new call center at ST Serangoon North, which also mean that...

I can come later
Leave earlier as well
I can go for lunch together with my colleagues and we don't have to take turns to mend the calls
I can go for a random tea break, at a random time, with a random duration
I don't get interrupted by calls while I'm doing my stuff
I don't get fucked by *take a deep breath* angsty-emo-gothic-slit wrist-screamo-pissed drunk-self stabbing-school/workplace massacre, callers.
I can tell lesser white lies
I'll be free to roam a little as long as work is done
I don't have to act happily polite.
I don't have to get someone to answer my calls while I answer my nature calls (no pun intended).
I won't have myself speaking on a phone while the the other one is ringing.
Roll about on my chair to reach the four corners of the call center, doing a different task at each

This sums up to a big YAY.

Yay, I'm a pussy.

On the other hand, I think I'll miss doing it because other than shit you get, there are nice callers who make you feel much appreciated for the service you've provided. The call center will be officially handed over on 5th November which is next Monday. This may also mark the end of funny calls.

*phone rings*

Me: "Hello, good morning. IT helpdesk."

New guy: "Hello, my laptop cannot go internet. I think the settings something wrong."

Me: "Go under 'tools' and then 'internet options' blah blah blah and then you blah blah..."

New guy: "Okay, you wait."

*mouse clicks and typing sounds*

New guy: "Eh, cannot leh."

Me: "Hmm okay, what's your location at? We'll go take a look later."

New guy: "This is ehhhh, I don't know my block... ermmmm"

Me: "How about your department?"

New guy: "uhmmmm... errrr... I don't really know, I'm new here."

Me: "Can you ask your colleague please?"

New guy: "I don't have any colleagues around me here..."

New guy: "Oh yah, there's this Carol sitting next to me, but she's from another department."

*thinking it may be my supervisor but not likely*

Me: "Oooo-kay. What's her surname?"

New guy: "I don't know man."

*rose from my seat*

Me: "Sir, can you stand up?"

New guy: "Huh? Stand up? What do you mean?"

Me: "Oh nono, nothing to do with your comp. Just literally stand up!"

New guy: "Errr, okay?"

*Head bobs up from a cubicle at the other side of the room*

Me: *waves* "Hello?" *waves again* "Yo? I think we were talking on the phone eh?"

New guy: *turned and looked at me, still having the receiver pressed on ear* "Ohhhhhhh! Yaya!"

*click*

Funny guy. His last line was still spoken through the receiver. Anyway, my department shares the same office witho another one so that's why that sotong was there.

From my perspective, there are 2 reasons behind the outsourcing of the call center,

1) To achieve excellence through specialization

2) Reduce unemployment

They are supposed to be more professional but I heard they weren't trained. However, one thing for sure, I know they'll have a more professional tone than I do. Mine rises and goes down together with the Sun. My supervisor told me that the call center will eventially still notify us of the problems via network and now I feel that the business process will be slowed down. Don't know, I'll see on Monday.

Last day mending the calls tomorrow!

Your HTML is fucked up, says Blogger

2007-10-31T10:05:00.000+08:00

Hello, I guess the renovation is almost complete. Actually, I didn't even want to change anything but I got bored, fiddled with the blogger functions and couldn't get my old template back because is says...

We were unable to save your template

Please correct the error below, and submit your template again.

Your template could not be parsed as it is not well-formed. Please make sure all XML elements are closed properly. XML error message: The content of elements must consist of well-formed character data or markup.

Give me a break man. In school, my lecturers stress on having well-formed codes and now, blogger which initially didn't give a shit decides to behave like a lecturer. So strict? Exam huh?

Looking at previous codes which has seemingly thousands of unclosed tags and poor identation, I decided to make something simple with the functions I fiddled around with earlier on.

Anyway there's a bug in the customizing functions and I was returned some error message when ever I tried to remove the ugly blog title from my banner. So what I did was...

You noticed that thin little line that looks like the fish poop in your aquarium.

If I can't remove you, I'll deflat you.

Out.

Under Construction!!!

2007-10-30T11:46:00.001+08:00

Under Construction!!!

Use rubber wear for safety (boot, gloves, etc)
Avoid whips, chains and handcuffs

If you think my blog is fucking messy now...

CALL TODD! 6751 1827. HUGE FUCK-UP ONLY!

If only Motivation comes in a form of Tablets.

2007-10-17T10:27:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, guess how's my progress?

Honestly, I've only moved by 50 to 450 and today is already Wednesday. The slow rate I'm going at is due to motivation problem as well as being stuffed with quite some stuffs yesterday. Strangely, I'm not panicking at all or should I say, I've never really panicked over deadlines. Imagine staying back on a friday evening to night just to complete everything. Hah, hope that doesn't happens. If that is to happen, I'll use my other tasks as an excuse to crap my way throught. I mean, common sense tells us that customers are alive and Excel spreadsheets are dead right?

So I AM bored

2007-10-15T10:38:00.000+08:00

Looking from the corner of my eye, I could see a little spider, and a web spun from my forehead to my elevated soft spikes.

I'm bored, thanks to my manager. He assigned me rubbish job such as auditing the company's employee list.

I've been doing it since last friday and now I'm only at 400/1200. Nevertheless, I had a nice weekend!

Ugh,

out.

Mr Tan Jia Jun (Part III)

2007-10-09T10:02:00.000+08:00

This gonna be a pretty long one. During my working hours, Agent Conwoman rang again.

Con-bitch: "Hello, we are calling from *blah blah* company regarding the lucky draw the other day. Are you Mr Tan Jia Jun?"

Me: "Yup."

Con-bitch: "Do you remember about the phone survey you've helped us with and the ticket number?"

Me: "Yup."

Con-bitch: "I pleased to inform you that you've won yourself 150 000 HKD!"

Me: "Hmmm? You said 380 000 HKD during the last call. Can you confirm?"

I guessed that was some loop hole but continued to be interested. I was genuinely interested by the way, because reality was boring then.

Con-bitch: "Yes, confirm 150 000 HKD. I'll now tell you about our company's history."

Me: "Errrr, woahkay?"

Next up was a clearly inaudible speech of the company's history. The only thing I could understand was '20 years'.

How the hell did this turn into a history lesson? I don't care if Chen Shui Bian owns the company or if it stood since war-time. All I wanted was the promised cash of 150 000 HKD.

As she rattled on with her ~~empire's~~ company's glorious, majestic, massive and rich culture of five thousand years, I was already wondering what I could do with 150 000 HKD. It is about 28, 500 SGD after conversion, quite alot of money! With that, Dad can sponsor me lesser if I'm going into a private university, I can pay for Mum's medicine and I can go for a one-time shopping spree with baby.

So while Agent Conwoman was at 1560 BC, related me how the ~~emperor~~ CEO beheaded his queen and concubines and then finally had gay sex with the eunuch, I interrupted her.

Me: "Your company does have a website eh? Give me the address and I'll do the reading up myself.

Con-bitch: "Of course we have a website! Here you go. Age-T-T-P-mao hao-slasher-slasher-dabuyew-dabuyew-dabuyuew-dot..."

And even before the main part of the URL was told to me, I was covering my mouth hard to drown my jackass laughter. I was thinking, what in the heavens was 'mao hao' (colon) at the moment because I last time I had ever said it was when I was secondary 4. Let's continue.

"age-kah-zay-I-eiowler!-I-N-dot-cum"

That was the compiled version of what she said. The actual one was me trying to confirm with her at almost every letter until we came to an agreement that she will represent every letter with word examples. Here you go, http://www.hkjlin.com/.

After I've gotten the website, the helpdesk phone rang and I had to attend to it. I told her to call back in awhile but she called too quickly and I was still busy. And I never got any call till now after that missed call. There goes my 150 000HKD )':

So meanwhile, I'm still 'hopeful' and explored their ~~consite~~ website. Amazingly, it was bilingual so I selected the English version. It does look convincing at first glance but look on...

So the moment I entered their ~~consite~~ website, this enthusiasticly irritating flash greeted me; Unprofessional, along with the broken English. Have you ever seen "WELCOME MY WEBSITE!" on Microsoft's or IBM's website? It was nothing more than an eyesore.

Click to enlarge. Thinking that dumping in news of established companies increases your credibility? Now, what the fuck have Infosys seeking acquisition, Facebook lawsuit and Microsoft got to do with you? Try going through the news, each entry become less and less detailed as it goes down the list. Seems like the faker is tired of ~~researching for~~ fabricating stories.

I'm sorry that I don't understand about half the characters and therefore couldn't make out the meaning, but I guess I know enough to say that the Chinese and English news doesn't tally huh? Agent conwoman must have been, and still living under the rock now making calls her whole life. I'm highly suspicious that she had no idea Singapore is a bilingual nation.

AH HAH! This must be Agent Conwoman, whose company is so filthy rich that they're holding conferences in Malaysia everyday and giving away '2nd prizes' daily too! If you people are so rich, please get a better translator or at least send the web developer for English bridging classes. That message sounds so... directly-translated-from-chinese. My product to you? ROFL.

I tried logging in with a non-valid username and password but no error message was shown and I was directed back to the same page again. I suspect that they just linked the login button back to the home page. Looking at the whole condition of their ~~consite~~ website, I wonder what is there to see even if I could login. Check the status of my big-assed 150 000HKD? They are located in Kowloon somemore. So Ah Beng.

Now, this is funny.

Click on it to have a closer look. This is the company history which I told Agent Conwoman that I'll read on myself. I should have claimed that I didn't understand Chinese and maybe she'll read off this script. She claimed that her company deals with electronic appliances like handphones, digicams and such, but her company ~~consite~~ website states that they RETAIL SEX APPLIANCES, CHAIN OUTLETS SOME MORE! It makes me think what performance was that during the conference and now I regret not attending. Jinling ~~self-proclaim~~ claim that they have already become an "international famous trade" with 10k employees. I immediately googled their company name and the results return was pathetic. So pathetic that searching on the mama-shop opposite my place reaps more relevant results. I suppose Agent Con-woman is one of a few who forms the '10k employees'. Last point about this picture, can someone tell me what are 'cicadas' doing inside that chunk? Are they a pet shop or something?

This is their product page. Huge assortment of notebooks, ~~hand cuffs~~, digicams, MP3 players, MP4 players ~~whips~~ PDAs, ~~cicadas?~~ mobile phones, routers and ~~dildos~~. But, not a single word of detail on them. It just blows up when you click on the picture. Again, must I login to see them?!?! I can't believe that the developer actually bothered to do a product shot for all the items.

I entered their job advertisement page and this is what I saw. First, they placed 2 random ~~con-bitch~~ ladies over there followed by a small "invite applications for a job" and finally "No job". I figured out and will just assume that they're actually trying to throw a few catchy lines like "HEY JOBLESS? JOIN US TODAY!" Actually, they might be really unemployed for very long, till they got desperate and started a syndicate.

Click to enlarge the picture. I've poliltely sent message to them to enquiring on the cash that I've won. Sadly, THE SEND BUTTON WASN'T WORKING! Even the reset button is fake. However, I was really determine to own the prize money, so I scanned for contact details.

I dialled the phone number but but it was invalid. I'm not sure if there's some country code required but nevertheless I tried email-ing them to their email address, sever@hkjlin.com,

Click to enlarge anyway. So it was invalid too. Blown goes my prize money. MAY THEM BE SEVERED!!! (See? I was right about English bridging classes.)

The Suana

2007-10-08T16:04:00.000+08:00

Hello, and I'm back again with my third episode of "Highlights of my working days".

Customers

The helpdesk team, along with me handle quite a number of customers a day. And if I'm to do a log on them, you'll realize there's a pattern in them. Some are so polite that we felt obliged to start on their cases right away and some are hell demanding. Some are IT idiots and some seem knowledgable but doesn't question. And sometimes, IT idiots pretend to be knowledgable and that's when it gets irritating.

There's a customer who frequents the helpdesk because she's the one who handles the new or problematic computers in her department. She've never failed to head over to my department with a loud entrance and by now, I'm like a fortune teller; I know she's coming even if she's a thousand nautical miles away. From what my colleague and I've see, she flirts to get the easy way.

Anyway, she's the one who gave us the prehistorical CPU and ~~notebook~~ bible. I didn't know what's her problem but she just doesn't seem to trust us (when we did almost all her PCs for her), perhaps because we're IA students (I heard some of them left behind a bad impression). So when that bible was pronounced dead, we (colleague and I) were supposed inform her by ourselves. Earlier on, we did consult the master surgeon, our supervisor and after diagnosis, "Try revive it. If cannot, call and send back," he said. So, we did as told but she ~~requested~~ ~~demanded~~ pressed that our supervisor should personally notify her of the status through email. One acronym for that; LPPL..

After that prehistorical CPU was fixed, my colleague called her up.

Colleague: "Hello, I'm calling from IT helpdesk. I'm looking for xx xxxx."

Woman: "I am."

Colleague: "Your PC is ready for collection."

Woman: "Ohhhh... okay already ah? *short pause* is it dusty? Later dirty my cloth..."

Colleague with his killer line: "Oh, we wiped it clean already."

Woman: "I see. Is it heavy?" (come on, you should know)

Colleague with his killer line again: "Not really, but don't worry. Got trolley."

Woman: "Huh, I want to just drop by after high tea leh" (She probably thought a trolley with her will make her look weird in the canteen.)

Colleague with his final killer line: "Your BU got guys hor? Go high tea together then later you all come over to collect?"

Woman: "Okay, bye."

Sorry lady, that doesn't work on our department. We are dull at hints (:

New Suana at work

My boss had modified a room near the pantry to become a suana for the department to lehpak during our breaks! Amazing huh? How many of you guys actually have a suana to belongs only to your department? (I'm NOT addressing those who work at suana palours.) I thought only T.T Durai was capable of doing that judging from his ~~corrupt~~ *take a deep breath* golden-tap-head-plus-golden-toilet-butt-rest-package issue. This suana is unisex but it doesn't really matter because the entire helpdesk almost practices monkhood, DURING WORK ONLY. There are only 2 ladies in the department anyway.

This is roughly how our new suana looks like...

Our boss isn't corrupt. We got greeted by a free suana last Thursday morning when the air-conditioner knocked on heaven's door the previous night. The servers overheated.

We didn't know it at the beginning, but only realized that when the network resources and emails went as slow as snail mail.

When I swung open the door of the server room, a whiff of warm air brushed my face. It was about 35 degrees celcius in the room with 5 racks of servers running. They sounded like some plasma rifle charging up and humming loudly, what you always see in Hollywood sci-fic dramas.

"Open the windows and fan out the hot air!"

That was what one of my supervisors said. It didn't seem that logical, for she was doing it with a pathetic sheet of A4-sized paper but everyone did as told without questioning. Colleague and I grabbed some sturdy cardboards for fanning but everyone's effort didn't seem to save the situation. Some network systems failed and calls flooded in like a tsunami hitting the shores. Although it was a disaster, colleagues and I made the best out of it (after all, we are only IA students) by thinking of funny lines to tell users if they call.

"Hi, our engineers are busy fanning the routers and can't attend to you at the moment. Please call again later."

"Hello, IT helpdesk. Hello? Hello? Yo? Can you hear me? I can't hear you."

*Just freaking pull out the damn line* There's a server problem anyway right?

Meanwhile, Derrick and I went went to look for electrical fans. We managed to get 2, one standing one and another power fan. I tried a small office next door and it pissed me off. It was this lady who sat closest to the door, have 897098 piercings on her nose, tried very hard to sound like a caucasian, tried even harder to appear like Megan Fox but was simply another Paris Hilton.

"Hello, excuse me. May I borrow the fan if you have one?"

Hilton raised her eyebrows, as if she was drawing an imaginary question mark above her head.

"The air-con in our server room broke down and we need a fan to cool it."

"We are tenants here and are not part of ST electronics."

"Woahkay?"

I didn't bother to make myself any clearer and left. It was as good as:

Harry: Hey Dick, what's the time now?

Dick: America.

Simply not making sense.

Anyway, the 2 fans did help and in the afternoon, a portable air-con unit was delivered to the server for temporal use before the faulty one was being repaired or replaced.

Yawn,

out.

"Oi! O$P$" "Eh, mai gei gao leh."

2007-10-04T11:15:00.000+08:00

If your friend owed you a little money 5 years ago and you've totally forgotten about it. And if you are reminded someday, somehow and suddenly, would you call up your debtor?

My mum came into my room and left this on my table.

"Aye, borrow books must return. Don't always get fined."

I feel accused of course, because I knew I had paid my fine just 2 weeks ago and since then, have not borrowed any books.

I took a look at the letter and it was under my mum's name.

So what I saw was...

Item Details: Incredibly Creepy Stories

I did use my mum's card to borrow books when I lost mine last year but how would a 19-year-old like me borrow such books with cheesy titles? Perhaps if I'm primary six now, I would have.

Naturally, I went for the fine amount first after the book title.

Amount: $1.05

"Okay lah, one dollar only," I thought.

My eyes next scanned for the date and my eyes nearly popped out.

Date Incurred: 01-04-2000

Right! That was about 8 years ago! I don't deny that when I was primary six, I went to libraries to borrow books with cheesy titles. But why did they send the notify letter only after 8 years? Shouldn't it be written off as bad debts already? Now, it is highly suspicious that they do their accounting or auditing only once a decade.

I know it's blur, because I was too lazy to look for my digital camera. Click to try enlarge.

WAH LAO EH! ONE DOLLAR AND FIVE CENTS ALSO WANT TO GEI GAO!

Out.

Mr Tan Jia Jun (Part II)

2007-10-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

While I was slacking in front of my computer just now, my Nokia rang with it's obiang ringtone and I was greeted with a familliar voice.

"Hi, Greetings."

"Hello?"

"You're Mr Tan Jia Jun right?"

It took me a nanosecond before that name was registered into my brain.

"Yeah."

"I'm calling from *blah blah* company, we called you another day regarding handphone survey and the complimentary admission to function at Century *blah blah*."

Oh, so it is Agent Conwoman back in action, I thought. Do they actually memorize that or do they read from a script? They sound almost like a recorded message or a freaking parrot.

"Uh-huh?"

"And we are glad to inform you that you've won 2nd price in the lucky draw during the function! It is worth 38..."

Winning the first prize definitely sounds like a made up story and so they used second I guess. I didn't know what had gone into my head at the moment. My brother happened to stroll into my room and "KOR! HUAT LIAO AH!!!"

After the craze died down, I got back to the agent.

"Hello? Hello?"

"Toot... toot... toot..."

Sorry lah, my fault. But people first time win thirty-eight something peanuts mah, definitely will excited. Now they clicked the phone on me leaving me in much disappointment.

Now, I hope they call back again to inform me about the procedures of collecting my 38-something and not pocket it.

Read about Kenny Sia's incident, he even recorded the conversation for his case and it's real funny how he conned them back.

ps: Wah lao eh, milk powder fake, unagi fake, luncheon meat fake, char siew pao fake, thumb drive fake, barbie dolls fake, now company, function dinner, lucky draw also fake.

Mr Tan Jia Jun

2007-09-28T15:24:00.000+08:00

Earlier on just now, I received a phonecall but it seemed unusual as the caller's number was blocked. Nothing was shown, just the word 'call' followed by a blank space where the number usually should be at. I roughly had in mind what kind of call it should be but answered anyway.

*original conversation spoken in mandarin

Me: "Hello?"

Agent Conwoman: "Hello, greetings *blah blah blah* company representative from *blah blah*... *blah blah*." (in M-16 single fire mode.)

It was a lady, and a China lady with a pretty strong China kind of Chinese accent. I've replaced some contents with 'blah' because I had no damn idea what she was trying to say.

Agent Conwoman: "What is your name?"

Me: *ponders* "Tan Jia Jun."

Agent Conwoman: "HEY! My surname is Chen too!!!"

Had I claimed my name surname was Abubakar, maybe she'll stupidly and happily reply that we have the same surname too. Don't try telling me that we share the same ancestors. Doesn't work on me.

So for the next couple of minutes, she confirmed the chinese characters of my name.

Agent Conwoman: "So which Jia and which Jun is it?"

Me: *Damn, I've got no damn idea* "Jia is the 'home' one and as for Jun..."

I randomly used my brother's character because it sounds quite close.

Finally, she moved onto the main issue.

Agent Conwoman: "So, what handphone are you using?"

Me: "Nokia."

She translated "Nokia" into chinese and confirmed with me again and I just yah-ed to everything. She didn't even bother to ask me for the model making it more obvious that she's a con-bitch.

Agent Conwoman: "How do you find Nokia?"

Me: "Okay."

Agent Conwoman: "Okay"

That was the briefest survey I ever had, settled with a one-word answer. Such easy job which I wouldn't mind applying for.

Agent Conwoman: "Thank you Mr Chen Jia Jun! You've been invited over to Century *blah blah* at Johor, just near the causeway for a function dinner where you'll be served refreshments, have a dinner accompanied by a set of performances which *blah blah... blah blah... blah blah* and your lucky draw ticket number is r6klsdjkfasjkldfaskldkjasfljklajf *pure inaudible noise* and so can you make it, it's 7 tonight?" (in M-16 burst fire mode.)

Me: "I would like to but I'm working and couldn't make it in time."

I wondered what was she rushing for, speaking in an inaudible accent, matched with an inaudible speed. Maybe she gets more comission for every airhead conned.

Agent Conwoman: "It's a pity you couldn't make it, you working in office?"

Me: "Yup."

Agent Conwoman: "Oh alright, thank you for the time."

It ended abruptly.

So I was bored

2007-09-27T10:59:00.000+08:00

Hi, I'm back from some busy learning and haven't been updating for a week.

Those days I was doing cables, dissembling and assembling Desktops. Time crawls when I was waiting for OS and software to install and time flies when I try to figure out something. Learning at work is a very down to earth process, no room left for I-don't-know because you keep on figuring out till you do. The amount learnt is definitely more than what I've learnt in school over a long stretch of time. Anyway I'm refering to the technical sort of modules I took and not my specialization because there's no relation in between.

Some highlights during work here.

Bored Names

As I'm doing administrative job too, one of my task is to update the employee list when HR submits a new staff's details. Being hell bored doing that work, I'll always look at the names to self-entertain, to amuse myself.

Some parents give children auspicious names, hoping that they take after it. The parents of this guy surely does want their son to get rich, as rich as *KACHING!* the cash register. No kidding, his name is Tan Kah Ching. He's position in the company isn't very significant yet, but I'm sure he'll make it big someday.

I thanked god that he or she isn't in my department. Have he/she around either makes me laugh or my stomach growl. Name, Lim Peng Kang.

If you have to travel with this guy, anywhere yes. But not Hong Kong. You'll have a pole shafted up yours every time you address him. As you have guessed, he's Hong Kee, I mean really Hong Kee, not his nationality but name! They prefer being called Hong Konger or Hongkongite but sounds weird too huh?

Now, here are the names that I spent a minute trying to pronounce but still couldn't figure out at all. Sonq Ern and Kjell Ulf.

Last of all, my favourite of all is Mr SAY HUAT! He sounds like he'll bring loads of luck when I bet on soccer. I've this supervisor called Say Do, probably the strictest of all. I always think that he's called Say Do and whatever he says, we must do. So now, I'll like to watch soccer with Say Huat because just like Say Do, whatever he says, confirm HUAT!

Buang-ed PCs

The company may seem filthy rich but recently, concrete evidence were sent to us, proving that the company is actually either poor, a miser or some staffs thrift too much, for the company. Days ago, came a desktop that looked like one which was buried along with the Qin Dynasty's terracotta warriors in Emperor Qin Shi Huangdi's (259 BC - 210 BC) mausoleum.

When it was unloaded, my colleague and I inspected it for a moment, we blew the ~~sand~~ dust away from the chassis before laying our hands on it. It was those ice age kind of CPU tower, a yellowing block (I'm exaggerating, but 128 RAM and PIII 600MHz is already ancient on contary of current models). It was reported that this tomb-dug PC couldn't boot up and so we did the usual stuff, which is formatting and then installing the OS and other required software. However, that method didn't work. The PC crashes into darkness everytime we finished all the setting up and restarted it. The harddisk was removed for testing and it was fine. So we tried plugging in some more RAM to 300+ and amazingly, it became okay. I'm clueless about that because Window's XP supposedly can run on 300MHz tagged with 64 RAM. Nevermind, case closed anyway.

Next up, was a Compaq ~~notebook~~ bible (for the thickness) which I've just returned to the customer and asked her to prepare a funeral, bury it before getting a new one. It was like one cement slab, those that are used to cover manholes. Actually, the specs of the machine wasn't that bad but the condition seemed like it was used for 24534534634523 hours non-stop and then ran over by a truck which reversed and accelerated over it 20 times before it reached us, the poor helpdesk team. Our task was to revive it. The condition of the machine looked really bad, keyboard and wrist rest sticky and seemingly dirtier than a toilet seat you see in kopitiams (I don't want to imagine what the user was doing in front of his notebook while surfing). The CD-rom driver was stucked we had to knock it out after pressing the eject button. Trust me, these weren't the worse. We carried on with the usual process and format it before other installations. The machine was faulty and could just decide to hang itself in while installing the OS and so a few tries were needed. This was when we found out that the machine can be scrapped for 20 bucks. While the OS was installing halfway, my colleague sneezed and the machine switched off. Needless to say, this shows that the power socket is as bad as the battery. I've heard heard about deteriorating batteries that lasts only for half an hour but how about lasting lesser than a split second, or should I say, it couldn't charge at all?

I was assigned some disposable asset testing job and my job was to test the supposedly buang-ed PCs for working RAMs and harddisk before recycling all of them. 6 PCs were given to me and after the test, I retained 2 CPUs and added in the recycled harddisks and memorys. The tricky parts comes, when I had to set the slave and master harddisks with the jumpers. Some had instructions on them and for those that didn't have, I tried the 8-12 pins found on them. It was tricky because the jumper connects 2 pins together and so I had to try all the possibilities and reboot it. I managed to do both PCs correctly using the trial and error method after half a day. At night, I related the incident to my brother (who's more technical orientated) and he told me one sentence that made me feel that my effort was wasted.

"Online can find."

Funny thing, I had always searched for answers on google for school e-quizzes but didn't thought of that while I was doing the PCs. Well, we learn from being a fool eh? All in a day's work.

Network cable production and labelling

I remembered during year 1 or 2, I had some networking module and during one of the hands on lab lessons, we produce a RJ-45 LAN cable for ourselves. It finally came into use as I was assigned to do that together with my colleague. He cut like 20+ of them and we started stripping the wires and slotting in the thin wires into the tiny slots in the RJ-45 jack. It was tedious job and my manager popped out of no where.

"Hey, how's the wiring?"

"Quite tedious."

"I believe you did it back in school eh?"

"Yeah, did it once."

"I see. So now, you guys have more than once, HAHAHA."

"HA-HA." *look away and roll eyes*

How amusing (note: sarcasm included).

I was pretty proud that I wasted only 1 of 11 jacks (my team leader supervisor confessed that he screwed up several jacks while doing 1 wire.)

A couple of days later was the labeling of another set of cables. And the number was not 20, but 200. We had to unpack the wires, stick 2 labels neatly on each ends and name them. Colleague and I were doing at a pretty productive rate and George, one of our supervisors came by.

"You all no need chiong lah, still got time."

"But Erwin said boss need by 10 something." (the time was 9.05am)

"Aiya, the boss always like that, his 10 something is 2 days later, but just ask you all rush early only."

"woahkay." *Slowed down productivity rate by 50%, slack only*

20 minutes later, George came back...

"Aye, this one really 10 something today need! They need for on-site and are leaving at 10 plus."

"!!!"

We had no more time to waste, for we've wasted some time doing the work at a slower pace earlier on. Erwin, joined us at our cubicle and we started a chain production line. Amazingly we've completed the task within 30 minutes. Thank god it was just labelling and not wiring.

Morale of the story from a slacker's perspective, boss should be more honest about it if there's any allowance in time.

I'll just make an abrupt end here,

out.

Slackaholics

2007-09-19T17:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday

Yesterday, I followed 2 of my supervisors to some place near Ang Mo Kio MRT depot. The moment we reached there, the peeps exchanged some words and we headed for lunch. "Not bad," I thought, "Haven't start working and here comes lunch time."

After we came back, we got our asses moving. Pretty easy job for me, I only had to check the links between the network points (in the office) to see which belonged to them at the other end of the network switch (in the server rack). Upon confirmation, I labelled the wire with a tag and the rest of the time, I had nothing much to do beside clearing up.

After we're done, it was 3+ only but I was allowed to go home. Holy cow, it feels really different somehow, freely going home when you know your colleagues and friends are still at work.

One of the supervisors went:

"YJ ar, tomorrow if they ask you work until what time what you say?"

"Six?"

"Tomorrow if they ask you work until what time what you say?"

"errr..."

"SEVEN LAH!"

And off we went, sharing a cab since he stays in Punggol too.

Today

Earlier on today, I thought today will again be a typical day for me.

So when I got into office, I sat on my roller chair and before my butt could warm the seat, George told me to follow some engineer to go on site, probably doing something like yesterday. The first thing that came to my mind was -pause- none other than GOING HOME EARLY!

I collected a few network switches, changed my pass and cabbed off to City Cab building with that engineer, whom I still don't know his name. Anyway, I think my company rented a space over at City Cab and some department is going to be relocated there, so we had to go over to set up a newtork.

The moment I reached there, I was given a desk, pantry, toilet and nothing else. I was told to make myself at home here but I switched myself to "office behaviour" in case I got complained (though I think I saw permanent staffs making themselves even more home than ever). You peeps won't want to see what I do at home, right in the office. I'll raise my legs and rest it on my desk, like I'm the big mean boss of XYZ company, blast music and sometimes sing along thinking I'm from some rocker from an old school band, with hair in matted coils.

The engineer went to his work space, just in front of me and started to do the 'chim' stuff, configuring of the server. I had grabbed some TIMES mags in the morning and read them to kill time before some work was assigned to me.

I read the first mag and learnt about the Global Peace Index (GPI). There are 121 countries in the list and every each have an Index, ranking them. The higher the index the better you are in that trade. Without running my eyes to the bottom (they started with the most peaceful one,) I instantly knew Iraq would be crowned the champion. I was right indeed. Singapore ranked 29, and I was almost shocked for it is the very land I'm stepping on right now. But I guess it attributed from maid abuse and maids abusing their masters' and mistresses' kids, and the kids grew up, fucking up their maids again. What a vicious cycle. I couldn't believe Germany is ranked 12 and Hong Kong 23, beating my motherland. Germany ~~have~~ had Adolf Hitler and Hong Kong have the big-assed Infernal Affairs, 無間道 on top of the Chinese mafias. I read up more and later learnt that relations with neighboring countries, number of homicides, military expenditure, people behinds the bars and the number of heavy weapons the country holds attributes to the GPI. No wonder lah! We have episodes of people jumping down the railway or people pushing others down. People killing and molesting their children and the strict sturdy law throws ah bengs behind the bars. As for the military expenditure, I'm unsure whether more equates to more violence. Perhaps, though the army supposedly preserve the peace you probably have you heard that "Usually, the process of shutting others up is louder than the noise itself"? More violence needed to stop violence.

Whoops, I just noticed I sidetracked by the thousand miles. Back to the desk I was at, I read 3 TIMES mags in a row, had my attention span killed, tried ~~not~~ to ~~even~~ snooze discreetly. It was only 2 hours later that I was needed. "Ah, finally something to do," I thought. I was instructed to carry a few network switches to the server room and fit it into a rack. As I began, I got a ring from George, telling me that Cheng (my fellow IA colleague) is already on the way up to replace me since I was wanted back to do some admin job. Ugh, I cabbed. The good thing about travelling during work time means free cab.

When I reached my desk, guess what? I thought I'll be greeted by a shit load pile of work but on the table, there was just a few resignees for me to settle. And in my inbox, a few more harmless new employee details. Finished them in less than an hour. The comapny is too rich that it had to encourage employees to cab more. They might as well cab us to and fro work everyday.

Out.

Uh-huh?

2007-09-18T08:58:00.000+08:00

Hey, back for a short while. After 2 weeks of office job, my supervisors told me "YJ ar, ming tian wo zhun ni chuan T-shirt and jeans," meaning that he allowed me to report for work in home clothes! I was of course surprised for a nanosecond because it had always been tradition (laid down by the manager that we must be dressed formally on all weekends.) Silly rule huh, when majority of the other departments can dress down on fridays.

Perhaps we have walk-in customers and that's why we had to look better and not sloppy. But then again, they're all internal. I don't think they give a shit about how good we look, in fact some didn't even look at us. I can see from their eager eyes that there's only one thing in their minds - "GET MY LAPTOP FIXED BY TODAY!"

Now speaking of getting their laptops fixed by the end of the day, this is ridiculous. Some users called in and demand immediate assistance like for instance:

I'm in blue and 'user' in red AND I'm quite positive that she's Singaporean.

*ring! ring!*

Me (politely, due to obligation and risk of failing IAP):
"Hi, good afternoon. IT helpdesk, how may I.."

User (frantic voice, as if she's in a crashing plane):
"MY LAPTOP SPOIL, CAN SEND SOME HANDYMAN DOWN?"

"OI, SIMI HANDY MAN? YOU THINK WE PAID CHAPALANG 20 BUCKS A DAY AR?" I thought.

Of course, I retained my composure since I'm here just for grades and maybe that 500 worth of allowance per month:
"Okay? Describe to me your problem in detail please."

User blabbers: "My laptop ar... BLAH... BLAH... BLAH..."

Me: "Uh-huh."

User: "And hor... BLAH... BLAH... BLAH..."

Me: "Uh-huh."

User: "Then hor... BLAH... BLAH... BLAH..."

Me: "Uh-huh, your problem seems really complicated, may I have your.."

User: "That thing... BLAH... BLAH... BLAH..."

Me (cut in with slight politeness):
"Excuse me, your name and extension number first, please."

...

As you have guessed, I 'uh-huh-ed' all the way since, asking her to elaborate only invites more of them, each branching out just like multi-level marketing (MLM). So since my team leader (main supervisor) said "difficult or nasty people, we (seniors and other supervisors) settle," I went ahead.

Alright, another supervisor calling me to go off now, see you.

Significant Milestones of my Work life

2007-09-13T09:57:00.000+08:00

Hi there, I'm at work again. Picked up my stuff slowly, through numerous screw ups and confusion and still slightly confused now. But it's okay, still able to do stuff in the given time, leaving me more than enough time to slack. Just wasn't used to having no music and no windows (I won't even know if the skies poured, the sun shone, a tsunami swept across or the moon fell on us). All I knew was there was an earthquake in Indo earlier on this morning because my chair rocked slightly. I checked with my colleagues and soon confirmed it to be an aftershock because the stuffs hanging and opened doors were pendulating, pretty obviously.

Anyway back to work, here are the highlights.

The first one that I'll never forget, for the next 10 weeks at least; I was supposed to send confidential account information to a business unit representative (BU rep), so that he/she/they can forward it to the exact user in the BU. Anyway, the BU rep is either an individual or a small group who are trusted with the users' account information which are used for configuration. So what I did instead was sending it to the entire BU, most beautifully, made up of 200 odd fellas, because the group list names are similar. Wonderful eh? And it wasn't long when my admin mail got bombed by various supervisors from that BU.

Second one, something similar. I was supposed to send account information to finance BU rep, and after sending, someone called my main admin and told her somebody sent some confidential stuff to the wrong BU rep (from another finance dept). This one wasn't that severe, because BU reps are trusted people (I think?) so that's why they called back. So this taught me that there's more than one finance department in the corporate.

Third one was minor. I copied a phone number wrongly and so couldn't get back to him. I was prepared to get strangled since I mentioned "... get back to you in a short while" My trademark "short while™" now became 48 hours, slower than snail mail because he called back 2 days later. Luckily he wasn't angry probably because I owned up, apologized, reported and help was provided almost immediately. What have I learnt? Get the damn numbers right, or perhaps, forget about mentioning how long I'll take if callers don't ask. The service level agreement is 3 working days anyway. But of course, we aim to provide the best possible service to innocent customers (I'll mention about those that aren't so innocent next time).

Alright, incoming mails!

Stay tune for more highlights! (HELL NO!!!)

Out.

Don't know? TRY ONLY LAH!

2007-09-10T10:35:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm at work now. Finally there's some time to slack so I'll write a few lines because THAT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN DO? I mean, besides surfing the net. Anyway, I'm posted to ST electronics at Ang Mo Kio for industrial attachment. Before that, I checked out on what exactly they do and found out that they do the various simulators for the army such as flight, land and sea. I guessed that most likely, I'll be doing stuff such as simple programming or even simply testing the simulators (which will be close to playing games). Sadly, it was a bad guess.

The Heavens turned away from me and now I'm working at a place where I'm not allowed to use MSN messenger, play games, play music, no MP3s even (because its a storage device and my entire workplace forbids any sort of that and more strictly, camera phones). Well, regarding the part where no storage devices are allowed, I kind of understand, you know, national secrets? But not anymore do I understand that policy because since when I was attached to the IT department! Yes, it may sound cool to some but down here, I do nothing to do with those simulators. Everyone here simply troubleshoot IT-related problems.

Last Tuesday came and I finally have a confirmed job scope. The priority goes:

Email administrator
Handling helpdesk phonecalls and TRYING* to troubleshoot requests
Setting up/repairing of new/faulty PCs

The first one is enough to kill me because I was given a 2-hour crash course on it, a day before the engineer I am attached to applied leave. For helpdesk, the keyword is 'try'. Luckily, I was told that if some alien problems are reported, I can transfer the call to some gurus. As for setting up or reparing PCs, once again the keyword is - TRY but with some guidance and supervision.

Incoming mails!

Out.

Pasta + Omelette + Movie = Happy

2007-08-31T01:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was pretty good. I had industrial attachment briefing at 10 in the morning which ended at noon. I was posted to some company called ST Electronics. Couldn't figure out the initials and so checked it out online later. Turned out to be Singapore Technologies. I was wondering why the instructions given was that no camera phones and electronical storage devices were allowed (like the army eh) and that explained it. I wonder what I'll be doing there, hopefully just testing simulators. It wasn't so bad (maybe I shouldn't say that yet) but at least the company is just nearby school.

Headed over to baby's for lunch of home-made pasta and cheese omelette before catching Ratatouille at AMK hub. Nice storyline, cute characters and funny life-like animations. I believe that anyone can cook even more and I shall increase the number of dishes I can whip when I've time.

Thank you Baby for the enjoyable day (:

HELLO, EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

2007-08-30T02:14:00.000+08:00

At least for my poly life. Hopefully I've passed all my modules this semester, else the sentences before this will be as good as nothing.

Real-time paper was pretty bad. I studied till 5.15 am in the morning and decided to power nap till 6.30 am, but woke up at 6.45 am instead. So I rushed through washing up and luckily my dad waited to send me to school (he have always said that he'll leave without me if I'm not ready by 7 since donkey years ago, but never did so till now.) Daddy loves me! HAHA.

As I made my way to the exam hall, my heart was thumping like crazy because I felt blank, err no. I mean I was pretty blank because I didn't finish studying. I met Kamal at the entrance of the sports hall and we chatted abit. It did calm me down. With 10 mintues to the start of exam, I realized that it was too late for anything and so just walked in, like a true Spartan.

We were told that we could start reading our papers before it actually begins but I thought that couldn't change my destiny. So I put my head down.

The paper started. I tried to do as much as I could but didn't seem to be able to fill in the numerous blank spaces. And the worse part was that I spotted wrongly. More weightage of marks was placed on theory questions than technical ones. I predicted the exact, opposite.

Anyway, someone near me appeared to be cheating and got caught. She was spot-checked and some scribbles were found inside the material of her pencil case. She tried to explain and I heard something like "my brother wrote" so and so. The invigilator check with the module co-ordinator on the contents scribbled and guess what? He said, "Related..." and for the moment I thought she'll get into deep shit but he then continued, "But doesn't help," with a smug. I tried to control my laughter because that's the worst thing that may happen to a cheater; Getting caught with a wrong cheat list which still deems as an act of dishonesty.

I finished the paper with 30 minutes left but sat till the end, just to console myself that I've tried till the end (I guess it is fine to deceive yourself a little once in a while.) After we were dismissed, I saw that girl being held back to write a statement to explain how she brought in her brother's scribbles by mistake. That's when creative writing comes in I guess. Hope she wasn't found guilty because that'll mean she failed the entire semester. Peeps, if you ever think of cheating for poly exams, scrap that idea and hand in a blank script. That'll be safer for sure. Weigh the difference between failing one module and one whole semester.

After exam, I headed Bugis with Yani for a partial ex-class gathering at Seoul Garden. Po and I scouted the place to anticipate a full-house but reached there only to find out that the whole place was sealed for renovation. We cursed and swore, went back to report and the gang decided that we'll all go to the closest operational Seoul Garden which is at Marina Square.

The people present were Jia Lin, Fifi, Siti, Fana, Yani, Monkey Shireen, Ah Bear, Po, Jinxian and me. Thanks to Jia Lin, Jinxian and Fifi who had the balls (not literally) to eat the Halal hokkien mee I fried with the ingredients found there. Feedback said it wasn't bad but abit too salty. I was too playful with the soya sauce because sprinkling it onto the hot pan gives me the CHEF AURA. I can cook okay! Followed on was Pool, bowling and arcade. I only played abit of pool (I sucked like a 1-meter straw after not playing for more than half a year) and had one turn of Ah Bear's bowling game. Damn broke lah.

I parted with the guys and went to another class gathering at Manhattan's. It was baby's partial class gathering but I was asked to go because I knew almost everyone there? My capacity for that day was pretty huge. Was so tempted by the menu but controlled so as not to over-overspend.

Next stop was a pub, Roomful of Blues at Princep Place, opposite Paradiz Centre. I love the music made by that performer, there. You guys really should check it out. I ordered a pint of Hoegaarden, my all time favorite while Biaomei and friends had Flaming Lambo. I think Cheese Sister knows how to drink. She could taste the unique difference of Hoegaarden from typical beers. As for Baby, I think it was darn funny and cute seeing her clasp the mug with both hands to take sips. HAHA.

That was a long enjoyable day.

Out.

Shits of Life

2007-08-28T01:20:00.000+08:00

Shit, that's the word. Something we all are bound to face at every phase of our lives. Be it the literal dog poop that you stepped on yesterday morning, getting fucked up project mates, getting fucked up by your unreasonable supervisor or political crap within an organization.

Let's go a little deeper on the latter. In an organization, there are different groups, individuals, all brought up in the influence of various cultures and I believe that since I've already mentioned that they're different, they think differently. At this point, we know that there's no one single remedy, that satisfies all. Everyone will have a say, and sometimes, none of them are totally right nor wrong.

I understand that being put in a special position to overlook these different groups and individuals (including their different mentalities, views and justifying them) is one of the toughest jobs one can ever have (so much that you may even feel like washing the loo instead.) You become the 'bad' guy for supporting or declining opinions, resulting in groups or individuals opposing you and even taking it to a personal level.

But, now that it's over. The first thing I think deserved to be done will be patting your own back to congratulate yourself. Reason being,

You made it.

You survived the psychology battle. You didn't lose your cool. You never gave up, just like a Spartan. And most importantly, you've learnt something.

Something that prepares you for bigger shits that you'll surely meet as you move on.

That's the greatest reward you could ever get; Experience.

For my secondary 2 AFGM tent buddy,

Out.

Third-Person-View

2007-08-25T12:48:00.003+08:00

Gone are the days, when we all were innocent.

Real Dead

2007-08-24T02:21:00.000+08:00

Doom approaches on Monday. Real-time enterprise systems development exam. I wonder if I'll repeat that module, though there is still 3 days to study for it. I passed the project assessment for it but may be an borderline one. I'm not sure how do I study for the exam, lack of attention during lecture perhaps. What's worse, the format of the exam changed. The MCQs are eliminated. So am I.

I need a mind-reader.

Screwed and out.

Latest Movie Updates!

2007-08-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

About to be unveiled...

...will be the most

ANTICIPATED
MOTION PICTURE OF THE DECADE...

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It was fun while it lasted

2007-08-19T19:55:00.001+08:00

Hi, I'm back from alot of sleep. Yesterday night, I was at the esplanade to watch the display of fireworks with a bunch of SIT peeps. The idea of the outing was initiated by Zaty (dumdum) and I but all thanks to dumdum being the messenger, quite some came. We met up at Marina Square where some guys are already at Changing Appetites and so the late bunch headed to Subway to grab some food before heading over the open area along the Singapore river to get a 'good' spot (I'll touch on WHY later).

It was 7.30pm then and we waited pretty long. So meanwhile, I did some catching up with peeps and Zaty went about cam-whoring with every single one, till I had to tell her to spare some clicks for the main event. But obviously, she either had too much memory space to spare or in her context, the main event is cam-whoring with everybody and so she continued. I've choose to believe in the latter though. Anyway, thanks to Vincent who spread the love with his famous anus cookies.

The other group arrived and joined us. I was glad to see Kamal and Kenny. You both are missed by me. While everybody was complaining (The main event didn't start at 9 sharp), the floating stadium's lights went off, some random spotlights were flashed across the sky followed by some lit remote-controlled kites being flown.

The main event fired off.

Some cheered, some screamed, so shouted "LIVE EARTH!" but I guessed they knew shit about it. The fireworks were pretty good, not special though. I love those that left glitters in the sky and the ones that worked like a machine gun, PCC-ing all the way (try your dad if you don't know what's PCC).

Good times always have to come to an end. It was fun while it lasted. After everything burnt out, the same kites appeared to signal a closure and the crowd dispered.

Lessons I've learnt, never go book a good spot early because late-comers are thick-skinned enough 'excuse-me' all the way to the front. At our 'good' spot, Kamal and Cheryl was offered a corner of some aunties' mat to sit on. It couldn't accomodate another ass (though mine wasn't big) and so I squatted for awhile. This moron squeezed his way pass my group and his humongous ass (which was as saggy as it was huge, and almost enough to form an solar eclipse) CARESSED my face. And he stopped there, forcing me to stand.

Unfortunately the worst thing was; That wasn't the worst.

Another late couple tried to squeeze through Mr Saggy and me. That was the nightmare. You wouldn't want to imagine what happened. With that limit space in between Mr Saggy and me, which was lesser than an inch, the couple managed to squeeze through and guess what? I was helpless. He was nudging his way through and his bums caused 493805834905 newtons of friction on my *ahem* (front part lah, if you're still thinking). I couldn't even move my hands in time to shield it :(

Forgetting my traumatising incident, we all went for our supposed supper but things screwed up leaving Kamal, Kenny, Alvin and me seperated from the group. I didn't feel bad though because I had company and in the midst of that little screw up, I chanced upon 2 cabbies, a Chinese and an Indian. Both are easy going, chatty and what they shared with me does makes sense (well, to a certain extent).

So guys, especially to Kamal, I don't regret spending all those time with any of you. Cheers.

Ironic it may be, but I don't have any fireworks pictures to show.

It was fun while it lasted.

I had company.

PS: Was just wondering what's up with the smoke from the fireworks clouding up the sky? So thick that the spotlight could shine a beam through. Imported from China? Hah.

Upset

2007-08-18T04:28:00.000+08:00

This entry tells you that I'm UPSET.

I'm Lagging, Shit

2007-08-15T02:39:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. Welcome to blog wars episode 2 which arrows at somebody, by the name of Mike from NYP, School of IT, Diploma in IT. He blogged about me like donkey years ago and I'm so laggy (reactions running at 56k) and only learnt about it recently. So now since I've some time in hand, we'll dedicate this entry to brother Mikey!

There's no right or wrong I guess, or shall I say all wrongs. You may support me or him, because I'm not being all misunderstood by him. It is just that I've never liked him, at first glance and it got worse as time went by. I'm thank the gods that I do not share the same block with him in school and also the fact that we have nothing to do with each other already. In fact I've erased him from my mind since ermmm... dinaosaurs walked the earth? Shit, now I'm reminded again.

In italics, we have brother Mikey and in blue will be words by 'that fucker!' (which is me! HA1HA3.)

soo we went looking for tat stupid resturant.. we there makan.. order order.. eat eat hahathen while we were having fun, a fucker came... a fucker called Yi jing haha hair long for guys.. figure tall n strange looking..

Yi jing - Bro Mikey, please know your stuff well before you go about flaming because you made the worst mistake by getting the wrong name. It's like sending a nuclear or declaring war against the wrong country where you'll get your ass fucked hard by the UN. Nevermind, I shall show sympathy by assuming that's for me and move on.

hair long for guys - You commented that my hair was long for guys. Well, that is one's grooming, so I don't even bother to defend myself since it is understood by everyone (who have middle-ranged IQ) that an individual can have whatever hairstyle he/she desires.

figure tall - Thanks for the compliment, dude.

fucker - So the dictionary defines that fucker means an inconsequential, annoying, or disgusting person. Alright, I'm not really sure if I'm disgusting (maybe you can do a public poll for that) but BINGO, you got it right. I'm a fucker, annoying bitch to only you and maybe others who decides to take after you?

First thing this bastard came in was give me a cbk face.. like want to fight.. then i gentleman ignore him haha..after 2 mins...

bastard - Right, time to play with puns. Sorry, dude. It doesn't apply because I'm no illegitimate child. I've officially married parents.

give me a cbk face.. like want to fight - I guess our gentleman meant chee bai kia by the acronym cbk. Dude, were you high on booze at that point or something? I'm sorry that even if my face was like cbk as you said, it wasn't intended for you because...
1) I don't even want to work my facial muscles to express any sort of feelings to you, simply not worth it.
2) Point 1 already made it clear that I'm not keen to look at you, so there's no way I'm gonna touch you, or worse sinking my knuckles into your face. And even if that happens, the first thing that I'll probably do the moment I reach home will be soaking myself in 20 bottles of dettol and then bathing 10 more times.

when he came i asked the gang hey later go where...i dunno y bt this fucker seems to be out to make my day.. n said.. n now the organiser asked where to go...Ok nvm .. i tahan..then the bill came..., i asked who got bring card, i 4got to bring mine..again this bastard start again..n said:"Great, organiser never bring card"TMD!.. think wat.. i organise event, let ppl come out have fun.. i must PAY ALL their's Fucking expenses !?

seems to be out to make my day - I did? I thought I was the spoiler. Get your language right.

i asked who got bring card ... BLAH x3 ... PAY ALL their's Fucking expenses !? - I got misunderstood here. I was seriously kidding about that and I won't even want to eat the food say you have paid in advance. Had I eaten it, I'll probably drink liqour and dig my throat to throw up. I'm not sure if that joke was overboard but I'll guess a normal-intelligence person will be able to differentiate it almost immediately. But anyway, I thought he was cool with it and since he's actually not, I shall say that was part of the plan to diss him! (:

Alright, due to time constraint, I'll skip his bull and finish it up quickly.

cafe closed at 4am.. soo we had no choice but to go esplande n rot haha...soo we go lor.. walk walk.. walk until we WALK 1 Big round, all thanks to tat fucker.. who said he know how to walk.. PUI! walk walk walk... walk until me, joa, cindy,cl, renli, zl 1 gang..tat fucker, alan & auntie another haha.. they walked soooooo Fast..

Since there's only one point, I'll not do any recapping. I gracefully admit that I've made a mistake and caused the guys to make a detour but still, we got there and without anyone initiating, think asses will be moved?

My final say would be something to close this special entry. So words have to be chosen wisely, sending across the correct message be it Mikey gonna read it or not. So, here it goes.

"Dude, get the fuck into some English bridging class and do something about your half-fucked grammar."

It is not as if my English is god-like, I personally think mine is simple average but just take a look for yourself at BLAHBLAHBLAH.blogspot.com. This is probably the last entry I'm going to dedicate to him. Call it a reply, something to anger him, something to make myself happy or a friendly dedication.

Holy, I actually wasted my time on this and I decided that wasting a few more seconds doesn't really make a difference anyway in addition, "And dude, please get your punctuations and cappings right. We all know it's free but that doesn't mean we spam the fuck out of it. It is irritating"

Out

The Guys' Night Out + 2 Girls

2007-08-14T13:56:00.000+08:00

Hi, I'm back after a night of nonsensical fun. Last night till morning was a catch up session with the more havoc part of my old class, E8. So as expected, Rice, Liang, Bear, Jay Chou and Jinxian was present. They had dota at Paradiz Centre and I met them after it. We trained over to Raffles Place and walked to a pub by the name of "Amber 21" at Boat Quay. It was empty since it was an early Monday night and we took almost the whole place. We got a Chivas and some mixers before getting into some silly drinking games, which I was silly with. Soon after we warmed up, Sin Yan came and brought along 2 friends, a girl and a guy. My favourite game was the one played with 5 shot glasses.

This is how it goes:

Arrange 5 empty shot glasses in a row.
Start throwing a die in one direction.
Now, let's say I threw a number 2.
I can go top up glass 2 with something, say liquor, mixer, ice, actually, anything you wish.
I can too top it up to the brim or any which isn't till the brim. Let's take it that I filled it up to the brim.
So now, let's say the guy after me threw a number 2 as well, so he'll have to drink the stuff in shot glass 2. (Note that, if I haven't filled it up during my turn, he continues to top it up without having to drink it.)
Once it is drank, anyone hitting a 2 may top it up again.
Whoops, I've almost forgotten the essence of the game. If you have noticed, there's no glass six so... you drink everything in the 5 glasses when you throw a bloody 6, be it filled to the brim or not.
Just a tip to this game, DO NOT BE KIND as others won't be kind on you YET do not be too sure about adding mucus and other craps into the glasses for all you know, you may be the next lucky one drinking it.

Next up was free flow KTV-ing and I believe that all the guys had fun, especially Jay Chou who hogged the microphone song after song, believing he's a clone of the original the Jay Chou. I didn't get my song though, the bar girl returned and told me they didn't have the minus one. I guess the pub is super cheena piang because they didn't have classics like Wherever you will go by The Calling, they play mandarin and dialects 95% of the time. Besides that, all is fine. Maybe I'll learn some mainstream chinese pop so I can just join in the fun next time, heh.

After we billed, Bear and Jinxian was quite high already. We proceeded to a club, called 97 at some old shopping centre near Centre Point. We had some problems getting in due to age problems (we are youthful, HAHA!) But after some negotiations made and with help of Bear's friend who is working there, we got in. Doesn't make much sense though, they only allow patrons who are 23 and above but allow 20 year-olds to work there. I bet they allow girls who are just 18 to enter.

Anyway, the moment I stepped into the club, I almost felt I teleported to Hong Kong. There was some live performance by a band which sings stuff ranging from Mandarin, chinese dialects and abit of Thai. As the songs went on, I was observing the place and the people around. Their logo was number 9 and 7 written in chinese calligraphy, giving me the Hong Kong triad aura. So much, that I started hallucinating people flipping tables and drawing out parangs, katanas ready for a bloody clash. Luckily, before any blood was spilled, a loud blast of techno brought me back to senses. I didn't really like the music since it was very sec1-2 to me. Was hoping they at least played RnB. Some to comment about the waiters, I think they are too free. They filled my glass (we got a beer tower by the way) even when it was only a quarter empty. So I kept drinking because I don't want to drink my it warm and he kept filling until my tower went empty and my head gone heavy. We left after part 3 of the live band and made our way to the Indian mama's near NAFA where we all had mutton soup and roti (except Jay who chose to be different and ordered prata instead) before heading home once public transport started running.

Out

ksajfsdafksadfsdk

2007-08-13T02:16:00.000+08:00

Fuck that.

Angst,

out.

I'm the Revolution

2007-08-11T03:48:00.000+08:00

I bombed my Java common test today, not with a hand grenade, neither a C4. Perhaps, a massive 500 tonnes of TNT. Strangely I wasn't upset at all, just felt bored during the test because I understood almost nothing. I didn't leave blank pages of course, so I just scribbled anything that I could remember or imagine (remember, this is a programming language test.) I guess that marker may just skip my script or have a hard time marking it because I'm so unbeatably creative that I created a new form of programming language. And besides that, I seem to be so confident of answering the questions with my new found language. I'm the revolution, ain't I? I hope the marker doesn't throw up blood after reading my script and of course do hope I pass for the overall module.

Just to cut tension,

Guess what? Jia Lin stumbled upon this and showed it to me. It turns out to be a company logo, a suggestive one. How would you like to see it? Daring, outrageous, creative, new-era, ero... Aww, nevermind. Flood my tag with your perceptions!

Anyway, Jia Lin wishes to meet A-STYLE's boss and give him/her a handshake. I second that.

Check out A-STYLE yo.

Accountability

2007-08-11T03:07:00.000+08:00

Days ago, I had a rock bottom fall. I really makes me think about a word - accountability. It plays an important role in our lives, but usually not clearly seen or handled. We all love to blame it on others when something fucks up bad. It does points the fault away from you and makes you feel better but ultimately, it does nothing to help the situation. This time, I choose not to blame the others that much but mainly myself - for not being accountable for my own actions. I learnt that in this world, no one else is accountable for you. You are accountable for yourself. Being reliant only leaves you to be as dead as a fish out of water in no time. For all you know, the other party is assuming that he/she can rely on you. The world is selfish, or shall I say, no one owes you a damn living.

However, there is still a handful of generous nice souls, all around caring and sharing. They are truly a blessing to me. Here, I would like to thank all these peeps.

Deceptive Ads

2007-08-09T02:26:00.000+08:00

Hi people, I'm back and finally out of my bomb-shelter. I'll elaborate on that later. For now, I'll talk about a new product in the market. It is the 'MR. NICOTINE' flavoured snack!

This is sold in a new big-assed vending machine (the kind which dispenses with the revolving rings) inside NYP's Mc Donald's. I looked at it for quite awhile and it seems really flat. Doesn't look like there's any snack inside. By the way, there are other stuffs like slimming tea and chewy menthol. So being somebody that smokes once in a while, it seems quite appealing, especially when it costs only 20 cents. Thinking that it is some sort of smokers' gum's product launch, I popped a coin into the slot and bought Mr. Nicotine.

Well, guess what is in the shiny package?

The Contents:

"Mr. Nicotine Flavoured Snack" postcard
"Social Butterfly's Tar Chewable Mints" postcard
"Slim Chance's Tobacco Slimming Tea" postcard
"Kick Butt!" your guide to getting a smoke-free life
"Wipe Out The Smoke, clean up your act! handphone accessory
Stick-on memo pad

I'm really not sure if I can sue them for deceptive advertisement. Making me pay 20 cents for a pack of crap (but I actually read it maybe because I've paid for it.)

Guys, smoker or not you may want to try buying that for yourself or your friend. After all 20 cents for that amount of paper, plastic and dye is pretty worth it.

Yawn.

Garbage

2007-08-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

I talked to a friend late last night and we shared our stress and some personal problems. Maybe not exactly problems but just in this new era's context, 'emo-ing'. We touched on people pretending to be something they are not, or rather people doing things that they actually don't feel like doing (if it sounds better than the first.) Everyone, think. Are you one of them? I guess so, maybe not everyday but just in certain situations. I don't deny I'm not one of them, though I seem to be the fire-at-will kind. Why do I even bother to put up a false front? I wonder. Perhaps it is some sort of defense mechanism.

Oh my I'm sooo-oo-oo, outdated

2007-07-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

Hey guys and gals, heard about the latest trend? Abusing your blog, composing entries aiming at other individuals? Something like what Xiaxue and the stripper did? Now, now I feel as though I live under a rock because I'm not doing so. I shall, maybe for once stay fashionable.

Hey. If finding things you don't like about me, strangely makes you happy... Then FIND MORE PLEASE. I don't mind seriously, crowning you the happiest man on Earth, with all my faults.

Once again, Ladies and Gentleman. Blog War rocks! Pick your fight today!

with sarcasm,

out.

Note to Self

2007-07-25T02:40:00.000+08:00

Now's the peak period for projects and now take a look at my progress.

IT service management application project - 70%
ITSDD video rental web application project - 100%
ITSDD report on some nonsense which I don't know - 100%
Open Source shopping cart - 100%
Java Entreprise patient system project - 0%
Real-Time Entreprise course managment system project - 10%

I seem like a pretty good student looking at the progress of the first few assignments but look at the last two. Under fire and squeezing balls man! I know my entries are getting rare and shorter these days but it's not my fault, blame the school. HAHA.

I'll be back some day.

Far away, this Shit is taking me far Away

2007-07-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

Hi faithful readers. So now, what the fuck is a term break with a fucking load of projects? I'm quite dead. One bloody long report by tomorrow, IT Service Management (ITSM) report and presentation on Tuesday as well as mock job interview. That's what I'm going to prioritise and just pretend that the 2 PHP shopping carts, JSP and ITSM mini-project doesn't exist for the moment. I doubt I can even do those which I prioritize so meanwhile, I guess I'll just cut myself away from the world at my hideout in some local manhole. Till the wave of shits have passed, then only will I paste myself back. There will be no internet access in the manhole so there'll not be any updates till I'm out.

Away and,

out.

My Promise

2007-06-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

As promised, Rico's self-proclaimed confirm owning lampa dance is up!

I'm not sure how owning is it on the web but it is funny to me because it is an inside joke, cracked on one of my lecturers. In case you're wonder what the joke is about, it's simple. That lecturer possess actions similar to what dear Rico had demonstrated in the video, except that his was more exaggerated. We all managed to pass her mathematics, so we've decided to glorify her with an impromptu choreographed dance by Rico.

Dear readers, in any event that you are impressed by the dance techniques and wants to hire Rico as a dance instructor, you can contact me, the manager by leaving a message on the tagboard.

Out.

More Allowance from the Government, maybe?

2007-06-14T16:27:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm back here with my NAPFA test results, fresh from the oven.

This is no artistic photography in case you are thinking so. But if you want to copy and submit it for some photography competition, BY ALL MEANS! I'M ALL FRIENDLY AND WELCOME! JUST REMEMBER TO GIVE ME SOME CREDITS.

So now, catering to the non-photography fanatics. People, may I proudly present my NAPFA Certificate. It is as crumpled as how much I value it, HAHA.

I dislike the language used on the certificate. I rather they just show the statistics and conclude with gold, silver or fail. "Thank you for your interest and participation..." Was I even interested? It is compulsory as stated by some SMS from the school. Well maybe we guys are all interested in earning our reduced National Service term if that's what they're talking about. Perhaps the sentence should be revised, say "Thank you for your discipline to participate in the..."

This was how I faired having results of both extremes. I need to season ny abs so I don't get cramps doing sit-ups. I think there's a reason behind why is it called 2.4km Run/Walk. It is telling you that you can run, walk, or both. But if you run, it means that you'll pass and if you walk, you're going to get something as go as mine, holy 16.08 minutes.

Anyway this was what that happened when Rico and I did pull-ups. After Rico 'up-ed' twice, a strong ~~stench~~ ~~odor~~ aroma of Chivas filled the air, so he released in case the alcohol 'up-s' out of his throat. For me, after I've 'up-ed' twice, this sissy with ultra tight-fitting tee, hot pants-length shorts accompanied by hairy legs sashayed pass. I started to laugh, then controlled not to, then felt weak, and finally lost my strength before dropping from the bar. Moral of the story, we need to learn to put aside all distractions to accomplish something or rather, that's the punishment you get for laughing at sissy boys.

"Your results have not met the minimum requirements for an award. Do try harder the next time." Let me finish this off with the true Singaporean taste. NABEI LAH! FAIL THEN FAIL, DON'T TURN ONE ROUND AND SOOOOT LIMPEI HOR!

Nonsense aside, I guess I'll start training and go for another shot when I'm ready.

Out.

Why do we Deserve a Term Break?

2007-06-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hi there I'm back and now it is mine or rather, our term break. Let me just say why do we deserve this two-to-three-week term break.

#1 Bad Weather

The weather isn't that good recently and last monday, I woke up on time for school but missed lessons due to taking shelter at a bus stop for 30 minutes. I think I'm about to receive some legal letter from the school. I think lessons or should be postoned during wet days.

#2 Morning Mood Swings

Monday blues may be the first thing that comes to your mind but I'm referring to something more than that which doesn't only happen on mondays. Have you ever woke feeling fucked up, stoned or as though half of your soul seem to be lost in space? You are in a complete daze and each sun ray shining seem to be penetrating you. I think the only cure for that is to sleep more and I think lessons should start later. Anyway, the picture shows where I ended up when I boarded the wrong bus in a daze. I was brought to Punggol bus terminal, still looks like part of North Korea to me sometimes.

#3 School is Boring

It is no lie that school really gets hell boring ~~at some points~~ most of the time. Proof? See what the students were doing during lab lessons.

Case A: Spongebob > Laboratory contents

I don't think this student finds the game really amusing that it have to be played even during lessons. I mean, we all can play that at home during our free time. People do things for a reason and I guess those are the times when lame spongebob games still own contents the lecturer is covering.

Case B: Chatting Nonsense > Laboratory contents

This needs no explanation I guess.

Out.

Ethanol-laced Blood

2007-06-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

I hate it when it comes to seemingly deadlock situations where I couldn't do anything to control my emotions or things that are happening but just start rotting away.

The Aftermath of Monday Blues, is feeling Blue for the next Four days

2007-06-04T14:24:00.000+08:00

The title tells how my day started off. I woke up feeling blue for no apparent reason, but the closest I could guess are the dreams I had in my sleep, not directly related me though, but still didn't give a proper sleep. I only sleep well with no dreams or what everyone calls sweet dreams, which is something I seldom get. I usually dream of being in screwed up situations and they are like real-time simulations. The most recent ones was being chased by 321804123089 people holding sticks, bats, spanners and anything else you can find in a regular construction site, for a long while before I finally got rounded. I jerked awake the moment the closest guy struck me with something. Sometimes I wonder where the hell are the contents in our dreams brewed.

Anyway back on track, it drizzled on my way to school. By then I alighted, the drips turned into buckets. The downpour stranded me at a bus stop, about 100+ metres from the sheltered area I'm supposed to go. I entertained myself with my phone games till the rain kind of stopped and guess what? It was twelve noon already, (my lesson had already started.) I was trapped there for thirty minutes and what a good reason for missing my lecture (I'm supposed to be earlier if there was no rain.) I do hope no legal documents will be mailed to me concerning my attendance.

I continued my journey to the bus interchange and it poured right after I reached there. Here's the comic relief part which I don't know to feel annoyed or joke about. It got really windy and rain was being sprinkled into the shelter at the people waiting for their buses. I then felt something close to me, as if it was following me like a shadow.

Oh no, the Messnger of Death befalls. It's this Ah Pek! He was using me as a human shield from the rain and moved along as I took a few steps around. Funny to picture that.

I had National Education today and there's an assignment, some 1000 word essay we should write about Singapore's blah blah blah, whatever. I think I shall just repeat "I Love Singapore <3" throughout. That's the key to getting a distinction in NE.

Holidays are approaching, only reason for me not to go 'YAWN' about but just for now, YAWNNNNN,

out.

sgt = <$ + >getting fucked

2007-05-31T01:36:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm back for an update. I've noticed that my hits went up since posting the videos "How to dance at a rave" and "Girly man". I guess the same people come back to watch it over again and again and that may be the only explanation.

So what's new, my brother was promoted to a third sergeant last Saturday during his graduation parade. The entrance of the parade was quite big-assed, since they are from the artillery section. The soldiers marched into the parade ground and suddenly scattered over to their combat units after some command was given. The engines of the artillery guns and tanks roared into life and soon they were all set up (the artillery gun was initally packed up with the gun faced back.) It was quite interesting, because they had to swing the gun heads to face us manually and I saw that my brother almost flew while doing that because he was quite skinny and accordingly to him, the gun head weighs holy thirteen tons. After that was some pledge taking and singing of the unit's song. The artillery's unit song was hilarious because it sounded just like some twenty-cent-ride song. But I guess the reason behind that was because those songs can be easily sang by everyone (without having to squeeze their balls) and they want every army men to sing it, be it young servicemen or Ah Cek warrant officers. There was this part where the family members were invited forward to help their loved ones put on the new rank. I headed forward without hestitation and stripped my bro's 400-dollar Corporal rank, followed by sticking on the 700+ -dollar sergeant rank. I felt really glad for him, for he had learnt much, richen his experience, grown fitter, healthier and most importantly, being the essence of all, the last but not the least, HE CAN NOW TREAT ME MORE ON THE WEEKENDS! Muahaha! Oh and yes, a rank higher also equate to decreased probability of getting fucked upside down.

That's my brother's detachment going through a march pass. Bad pic though, handphone camera, what do you expect?

After the ceremony, we went to the main road to flag a cab home. There, my brother introduced to me his best comrade, Mr Brick.

This is the thing he sat on to wait for a vacant cab after he booked out everytime. It had been there since he entered the school and now that he had graduated, it is still there! I think the entrance of Khatib Camp is so well guarded that no one dared to even move a worthless rock from its entrance. I mean who dares to? Being hit by an artillery shell is one of the last things you want to imagine in your life. It does an area damage of thrity metres radius. If one finds its way around you, smithereens are what you'll be left of, or perhaps not even a gas of you remaining.

Anyway, I happen to notice some camp opposite Khatib Camp called the Dieppe Barracks (on background of picture.) It sounds like some camp for the more advanced to me till my brother told I was very right. They're far more advanced because their training are more hardcore. As you've probably guessed Dieppe Barracks is non other than the legendary detention barracks that everyone talked about. My bro was telling me that it was very conventient for artillery servicemen to move over there for a few days because it is just across the road. AWOL FTW!

Out.

Semi-Bottlenecked

2007-05-26T03:48:00.000+08:00

Too stupid to pick a fight and yet too annoying to let go.

A solid rising and falling along the esophagus, can neither be ejected nor downed into the stomach.

Asphyxiation, smothered felt at times.

Mums' Day

2007-05-13T02:15:00.000+08:00

Today, my family excluding dad had dinner out today to celebrate mothers' day. Accordingly to my plans, it was supposed to be Sunday, the actual Mother's Day but my brother go to book in so everything was settled on Saturady instead. We were supposed to dine at Lao Beijing @ Plaza Singapura but it only offered set meals and no dim sum, so we went to Crystal Jade instead. The queue was pretty long, for an impatient guy like me so once we got our seats, I went through the menu and ordered quick. I ordered something called the roasted pork and portuguese-style beef brisket noodles. I was very disappointed and felt foolish on arrival of my dishes. It can't really be expressed so there, let pictures do the job.

The moment it was served, I though it was a mistake they made. It took me awhile to go through the denial stage and finally accepted that I was the one who made a wrong order. I scanned through the menu again and saw something like "roast suckling pig" which costs $18 bucks. Must be that one! There in the beginning I was wondering how come "roasted pork", which I thought was the roasted suckling pig costs only $7 plus. Anyway, I just swallowed my silly mistake as you know, everyone who knows me knows, THAT I HATE CHEWING ON GOOEY ANIMAL FATS.

Tadah! Portugese beef brisket noodles! This was another blow to me. You guys should know how does the regular chinese beef brisket noodles look like and what the hell is this curry thingy doing in a chinese resturant?! I confirmed with the waitress that she got the correct dish and I went through another denial stage again. surprisingly, the beef was really tender and succulent, the curry-tasting 'Portugese' sauce wasn't too bad but...

#!^%&*&!87%#^!*#%!*#% The noodles look like mamee monster noodles, and after serving, the waitress was like "Put sauce yourself." Quite bad service, but for a busy chinese restuarant, standard lah. I gave up eating after finishing half of it because I ran out of sauce and chewing on it raw really sucks. It just feels like you're munching on staples, nails and needles.

Moral of the story: Don't assume, bloody make sure by clarifying because you wouldn't know what a world of difference it will make by adding another word before or after a common thing that you already know.

Here's something besides the point, just what I saw and thought about while stucked in the long queue before getting a seat in Crystal Jade. This an outlet of 'Couple Lab', opposite to Crystal Jade and from the name, you know they deal with couple accessories, like necklaces, rings, blah and blah. I thought deeper and sort of understood the concept behind this business. The man behind this is quite a genius because he was able to come up with a non-technology related product, which has a high profit margin and which has highly recyclable customers. Now, why do I say that? The reason is because people go...

Ah Beng: i luRbbeEx` euuUuXxx daRx daRrrX!~!~!

Ah Huay: wO ye hEn Aiii nI woRxXxxxxx!~!!`

Ah Beng: wE gO cOuPLex lAb get a CouPLe rIng oOh (mind that this was intentional because they don't usually say, "A pair of couple rings.")

Ah Beng collides into Ah Seng who happes to be at Couple Lab too, purchasing a pair for his girlfriend and himself.

Ah Beng: aRloW aR, sIam hoR maI tiOk wiBb lImpEiXx! mE GoNnA buY cOuplE rInG fOR mOixX daRx dArx.

Ah Beng buys a pair of rings for Ah Huay and himself.

Ah Huay: oOooHhhhxXx. wO aI sI ni leRrx lAooo GonGggXXxxxxxxx!!!

So you should have guessed what happens next? I'm not going to tell you the life stories of Ah Beng and Ah Huay but well, the vicious cycle begins and they broke up, patched up, broke up for good, got attached to new partners, broke up, patched up, broke up for good, break, patch, break, attached, break, attached, break, patch... break, patch, lie, break, attached, cheat, break patch, slap, break.. and this goes on maybe forever if you think about it. So finally when all the involved parties were married one day (seems impossible), it is deacades later and Couple Lab have gone rich enough to sell their business and open a global hypermart. Sounds like some sort of global conspiracy huh?

Anyway, my dad is still at Dubai and I miss him after not seeing him for months. Come back soon okay,

out.

Girly Man

2007-05-11T01:58:00.000+08:00

Hey, I'm back again. Well, don't ask me why do I suddenly blog in series and why was I stagnant for some while back, because I just write, I mean type when I feel like typing. So that roughly explains the frequency of my posts.

Anyway, this is just a random post to feature some junk I saw on YouTube. It is this video called 'Girly Man' with edited subtitles which I'm not sure if it's stale but if you haven't watched and you're bored, why not take a couple of minutes off your life to watch this? Notice the subtitles. They're a whole lot of nonsensical yet funny group of random words.

'Girly Man'

Well, comments about this short rip, it seems really classical like what we always see in Bollywood movies. Funny part is that the vampire or the fanged guy had to do a three minutes and thirty-seven seconds dance before he attempts to attack the girl. What makes it worse is that the girl actually watched the entire dance, till it ends where the guy charges towards her, and that was when her nerves triggered her to start running.

Yet Another Entry that goes Untitled

2007-05-08T02:41:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, if you had a fucked up day, feel bored, stressed up with school projects and stuffs or SIMPLY CAN'T DANCE, do take some time off and watch this retarded production of some guy teaching a student and we audience how to dance at a rave. Love them, hate them, get ready shoes, rotten eggs and cabbages to bombard them!

How to dance at a rave

Grab some buddies, visit a club and try that. Well, the more the merrier because I bet you'll get effed somehow if you do it alone. Good luck.

Messy Baby

2007-05-07T10:15:00.000+08:00

I think baby's the messiest (also the cutest to me) when it comes to eating. We were hanging around Marina Square and had dinner at Han's, where she ordered some pasta with tomato sauce. I think she was prying this mussel out of its shell when she accidentally did something which caused a prawn's tail to somersault towards herself. It landed on her white skirt, leaving a little red stain on it. Later on, we had our desserts which were an oreo cheesecake and a blueberry cheescake. After finishing them up, we wanted to leave Marina but she popped into Diva on the way. As I don't really look at those accessories much, I just looked around and noticed some black stuffs in my girl's pocket. I went forward to investigate and found out that they were oreo crumbs from the oreo cheese cake that we had earlier on. Right now, I'm still a little puzzled how the crumbs actually found their way into there. My girl's messy when she eats right? But still, I love her loooaaaadss. *smiles*

NYP's Jam 'N' Hop 2007

2007-05-05T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm back here to deliver a review on Jam 'N' Hop a club party-like event which is held in the campus annually. Before that and for those who are interested, I'll just give a short update about my condition currently. My tonsil infection worsen two days after the first visit to the clinic and I returned again to make some noise. Thankfully, I got a different and better doctor this time who issued me some painkillers, anti-bacterial gargle fluid and extended the course of antibiotics by two days. Now, I'm quite well already, but there's still a little sore and I guess it takes another couple of days for the swelling to go down. Thanks to those who gave me their well wishings, you all are blessed.

Alright, Jam 'N' Hop now. I went to the event shortly after it kicked off, well, the crowd was lesser than the one last year but I think the most magnificent thing was their lights which they rented. It's those close-to-professional laser lightings which you see at clubs. Other than that, I'll say the sound system was average only, sounded a little flat on the bass but still way better than the ones that we once got from the live audio club, which have speakers with bass which sounded as flat as Steph Sun's chest. Too wordy here I guess, some pictures will take my place instead. They aren't too clear anyway due to weak flashlight.

Firstly, you can't miss out something. Check out these two cool guys who were stoning at the event while the rest were grooving. I think they're too cool for school, aren't they? HAHA, if you think so too, thanks for your compliment or else just take it as a bad joke if you don't. It's a shot of Evigan, my pretty new rocker friend and me. He doesn't club and could only do the Mr Bean dance. And for me, I don't really dance too though it really depends. Most of the time when I dance in clubs, I wasn't sober. Anyway, Evigan's not from my school. He was smuggled to the event, errrrr I mean he just bloody walked into the school, into the event area and finally stones there with me like he rightfully belongs to NYP. Let me just promote him a little here, he's from a local rock band called Bad Obsession. Do support them because I personally think that they do make good sounds for a pretty new band. Click on the poster below to know more about them.

Speaking of good rock, now let's talk about bad rock. Continuing from where people were all grooving around, the music abruptly halted and the emcees appeared on stage. I think that was really bad move. Fortunately that occured in a school environment, else the poor emcees would have suffered from a broken nose or concussion from alcohol bottles being hurled at them (from drunkards who were happily dancing.) I guess the management could've taught their dee jay how to ease out the music and making an announcement or something like this instead of cutting off the music by pressing the 'stop' button in the player. And please remind the dee jay to quit his/her MSN or disable the damned alert. I wasn't sure if that was an accident or just a planned comic relief. If it was the latter, you're forgiven.

Now, now, now, why do I say that? All because we needed something to cut tension and sooth us before a great disaster befalls upon. Let's put our hands together to ~~welcome the hottest rock band in town, 'AH PIE'!~~ pray hard to our holy father that 'AH PIE', a self-proclaimed rock band didn't exist at the first place.

Oh my god, they were so bad that the photographer told me that his camera jerked off focus the moment he attempted to click pictures of the rock band. So sorry, that's the best picture he got. You can't see much but let me narrate what happend. This three-piece wannabe band attempted to play songs by muse. They played 'Hysteria' which really put me into hysteria. The guitarist-vocalist sang like he was shitting stones while someone was squeezing his balls. There, I saw Evigan stoned. Though he had shades covering his eyes which doesn't allow me to read his emotions from, but I seem to just got everything through telepathy: We may at any time, pluck out shoes from our feets and put it into the vocalist's mouth. I refrained from doing so due to this security guard lingering around, so I just started shouting at the band to get them get off the stage. Mervyn initiated the 'Boo' party which was good. I rather listen to them boo a hundred times than to listen to Ah Pie once. This was when some crowd starting throwing light sticks on the stage and then taking their leave. However, I couldn't believe that there's a group moshing near the stage. Muse will shoot Ah Pie followed by them if they ever see that.

Next up was this dancing competition thingy which provided me with some sort of entertainment. The emcees called for volunteers and some came forward, while others were sabotaged by their friends. Everyone else was okay except this guy in black jacket + rider gloves who danced like he was practicing martial arts. He did actions like the dragon punch which you see Ryu and Ken doing in Street Fighter and he randomly stripped his jacket, helicoptering it above his head. That was really retarded, for a sober man. If you noticed, there are many light sticks on the dancing ground because everyone was grenading theirs at him. After the first round, there's some elimination to be done and this 'Ryu' was eliminated. Before that he was crossing his fingers and praying that he actually could advance to the next level. That was wishful thinking and during then, people were still throwing light sticks at him. So after he was announced eliminated, he flashed his middle finger before making his way to the exit. Needless to say, light sticks were all still flying around him until he finally went out of sight. I was quite puzzled by that, I mean he wasn't sabotage by friends and volunteered to go up where he couldn't dance at all. I shall not kill my brain cells thinking about that but, I kind of pity him actually.

This is some random shot of the event, just look at the damaged decorations behind which supposed to be the initials JNH. I guess it all fell off when Ah Pie performed their rubbish or maybe, audiences ran out of light sticks and started to pluck them off the wall and throw them at 'Ryu'. To close the event, the emcees mercilessly invited Ah Pei up on stage to perform once again. They played the classical 'Time is running out' also by muse. However it sounded nothing much like the original song and I heard almost pure noise. The band wasn't very bright indeed by choosing songs which the vocalist couldn't handle at all. The bassist who was also the accomplice in crime thought that he was really brilliant to play his bass so loudly to drown the lousy vocalist's voice when he reaches parts which was too high for him to reach (most of the parts anyway.) About that, I could only say one thing which my dad once told me: Your friend stupid, doesn't mean you've to be stupid along with him.

Out.

Welcome to the virus club.

2007-04-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm here for a short while. I heard that quite some people are falling sick recently. Chicken pox, hand foot and mouth disease, Food poisoning, common flu and more. Now, I not only heard it, I fucking feel it! I'm now down with tonsillitis, a kind of bacterial infection of the throat. I had been feeling this weird ache on my throat since halfway through last week but thought it's just a common sore throat that I get every once in awhile. Last friday It bugged me quite a little that I went to flashlight my throat. I saw some will spots on my right tonsil and started to worry a little. That was when I went online and did some research about it. Learnt quite alot of new things, but not at a worthy cost. I made up my mind to see doctor instead of working the next day. That night, my throat worsen before I went to sleep. When I woke up the next day, I abandoned the thought going to polyclinic. I had no patient for that, looking out for numbers, looking for the correct rooms, squeezing with other patients and having to wait for every damn thing. Therefore, I went to this private chain organization clinic at the mall opposite my place as I know it'll be quicker. I didn't mind paying 20 to 30 more for the speed. BUT, this time round, it was too quick. I registered and my number flashed in lesser than 5 minutes, followed by a 45-second diagnosis. That was bloody fast game. I collected my medication and everything costed me 44, which I didn't know where the damn extra 4 came from.

Baby came up to visit me that day. Thanks baby, that was really sweet and pain-relieving. However after she left, the pain became more immense that I could only go dota, own some asses to divert my attention from the pain. A day after I've seen the doctor (which is today), it wasn't any better, I was thinking the doctor was so 'whatever' about diagnosing me. He didn't even give me any advices or ask any much. It was me telling him things most of the time. I'm not trying to doublt his abilities as I know the drugs need some time to work on the situation but now, I felt that he missed out on painkillers. I've search the net and most medical forums mentioned that painkillers and antibiotics are the essentials for tonsillitis treatment. By late night, my throat felt this dull pain everytime I swallow, even my saliva. It was as if something hard and blunt was pull through my neck. I couldn't really sleep even after exhausting baby on the line but eventually, I dozed like at 3-ish to 4am. The next morning, I had problem waking. Though I first woke pretty early, it took me till noon to get out of bed. That was because the moment I was half awake and normally, the first thing you do in is to swallow your saliva, I felt the same dull pain, but worse. And somehow, some defence mechanism made me doze again so I won't feel the pain. So it was like, wake up and sleep, wake up and sleep till 12 noon.

My dear mum couldn't bear to see me in such a state, where I cringed my brows at times when I swallow. She wanted me to head back to get some pain-killers but I was kind of reluctant as I don't wish to waste waste money. It's not about money actually, but imagine having to pay for consultant fees again for getting painkillers? That would be fucked up. I was thinking maybe I'll visit another clinic if things worsen up tomorrow but I've haven't finished the course of antibiotics that was given to me. If I am to, I'll visit private home clinics which I believe have more dedicated doctors. I guess those chain organization doctors get a fixed pay, perhaps that's why some of them just can't be bothered. I'm not stereotyping, there are good doctors in chain organization clinics but they all get rotated around and sometimes you just get a bad one.

Alright, I got to go. I'm still trying to gather pictures taken during NYP Jam 'N' Hop event so I can review on it.

Burn, Burn, Burn in Hell

2007-04-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

I think I'm quite slow about this but I found out that hui lau shan, the damned place I worked at back then closed down and the whole fucking crew had crawled back to Hong Kong. I truly wish from the bottom of my heart they all rot and fucking wong have his three outlets in Hong Kong closed down too.

This entry traces back to Life's a Bitch.

Oh, you're sucha Badass

2007-03-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm back by popular demand! Nope screw that, I'm just kidding.

I haven't touched this for a couple of months if I'm not wrong, so maybe I should continue doing since I'm quite free these days(not that I've nothing to do, just that I'm not doing them). Apologies to my buddy taggers, I'll start blogging again, but for how long I'm really not sure. I wondered if I lost the writing touch after such donkey years, err... okay, months.

I'm just gonna start with some recent issues, oh yes, Darren's birthday chalet. The food was pretty good, pasta with mushroom and tomotoes, some mini tomato salad and so on. Darren was the only person I really know there since the others are his class and girlfriend but there wasn't much problem having fun.

I learnt how to play texas poker, pretty exciting. Oh, actually there were some guys that I've seen before when went to his girlfriend's barbeque back then. There's this magician guy I met last time who was here this time too. He's a friendly guy, helped Darren entertain the guests with his card and balloon tricks for free where he's paid 500 on average per event. This time round, he made himself an even cooler shit by bringing the texas poker set with chips and all. I watched the guys play for a while and joined in later on because WHO THE HELL CAN RESIST SWEEPING IN THE CHIPS LIKE HOW CHOW YUN FAT DID IN GOD OF GAMBLERS?

I think we just lacked the table, blazer, table, hair, money and the cigar that night. Besides that, atmosphere was present especially for me, a beginner. There was once when I sweeped in alot of chips and the feeling was like whoa, as if you're starring in God of Gamblers III. Overall, I lost quite a bit that night but well, at least I do know that's something I can't count on for a living. Just once in a while for the fun and thrill of it. Anyway, I heard that the magician guy have a gambling problem, losing like more than a thousand in one night. Hope he realizes it soon before it wreck him. He even wears this bracelet with all the miniature mahjong tiles arranged to form some big win formation.

Life lessons aside, we played a drinking game called 'Chinaman' more thinking require than 'Indian poker'. How it goes, two decks are mixed and shuffled and every one in the ring will be issued a card one by one in one direction. When the person gets a black(club/spades) number card, say 4 spades, he/she drinks 4 shots. Red(diamond/hearts) cards gives the power to issue some one to drink the number of shots as reflected on the card. But there are a few special cards, like any 6 is the toilet card, because no one is allowed to the toilet before the deck runs out. 7 is the 7-up card where the person will count in one direction and those who comes to mutiples of 7 should say up instead of the number. Any one who screwed up the flow will drink. There's also 2 more special cards which I've forgotten what the number is but one is the thumb card and the other is the rule card. The action card is pretty dumb, the person with the card will place his/her thumb on the cheek at any point of the game and the last to follow will drink. The rule card is fun because the person can lay rules applicable to everyone including himself throughout the game. Rules can be anything for instance no addressing by name, no pointing, no saying the word 'drink', no hokkien vulgarities, no fuck or the penatly is to drink a shot. Well, you may think it's easy to avoid now but during the game, but halfway through the game, you're a little tipsy and will start calling the person's name(first offence) while pointing(second offfence) at him/her, asking him/her to drink(third offence) and swearing(fourth offence) at him/her. For example...

Darren: Wah fuck, kena spade 10.

MrJack: *points* Ah... fuck it and drink, Darren.

Holy, the short line and action earns yourself four shots.

Oh anyway, I missed out the pictures. When someone opens his/her card and it shows Jack, everyone must shout 'Hey Jack!' and for Queen, 'Hey bitch!' the lagger or day-dreamer drinks. Lastly, the lucky fellow that gets a collection of any four kings will have a powerhouse forfeit which I couldn't really remember, but something to do with drinking. Well, try it out with your friends over some hard liquor, it's fun.

Two days ago, I bunked over at Darren's to help him fix his comp. We became so bored and started gambling all kinds of shit. It's funny how no one actually won after a whole night of gambling because we started with coins, lost all of them, broke a note, won them back and loses it back again soon. So the whole night, we were just like playing cards and exchange five bucks worth of coins with a one-dollar coin and two two-dollars note. We had a little bit of beer and I think we're really badasses because during one of the hokkien poker games, we were making the last bet before opening the last card and like in any other gamling motion picture, the air was still and cold, there was pin-drop silence, the two opponents stared at one another including the huge pile of chips in front of them, as though they're ready to pounce. And as we were flipping over the last card, the silence was shattered by a sharp wail of the police siren. Whoa, what drama we thought. The senario fits in really well, cards, money, beer and we thought we gonna get arrested soon for being real badasses.

Alright, full stop

I was Early, for Once

2007-01-27T12:28:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep last night. Actually, there's a point around 6 plus that I really got sleepy but I had to meet Ian at 9 in the morning, so I decided to stay awake all the way in case I fall into a deep sleep, probably waking only at 3-ish in the afternoon. Anyway, Ian is some guy introduced to me through some long chain which goes Pris->Geri->Bonnie->Ian. This is just a simplified link. The actual one is so confusing that I don't know who's calling me. I guess Pris gave my number to Geri, and Geri called me to tell me to call Ian and refer myself as a friend of Bonnie. Don't know who's Bonnie anyway. The purpose was to discuss about some website projects he've got for somebody to do, and the meeting was arranged because of a few people notified, only me responded. Looks like I'm broke or something, so desperate for cash. Yes, I admit I'm not too well off now at the end of the month, but part of it goes to interest too. I was thinking it'll be go experience to do web projects during them semestral break since usually in the past, I bum my time away till school re-opens and whine about it. Next semester, I'll be taking integrated web systems and solutions and I thought that'll be good training for me because usually in school, when I don't know something, I'll go find out for a couple of minutes before stoning and then rotting. When I'm working for someone (money) I feel more responsible and I'll have much more drive to get things done. That sounds materialistic and money-faced but who isn't. To speak frankly, I'm not obesessed with cash but just need some of it to sustain my spending habits. I'm not exactly a spendthrift, but just like to go for good food and be a brandwhore once in a blue moon. I'm surviving under mum's allowance tracking program okay! 4 days and I still do have some to spare.

Anyway, I bloody sidetracked from the topic, as far as from Singapore in the year 2007, to Outer Mongolia where camels roam and where Genghis Khan puts an arrow up your ass, in the 13th century. We shall ride the time-machine back to present.

This morning, I was being a blur dodo because I got onto my journey without know where exactly Siglap Centre was. Guess what? I ended up flagging down bus service 250, which was formerly 240. I reached there too early and slacked at the Mc Donald's where I was supposed to meet Ian. I waited and quite a few people came in, but they don't look like Ian, though I haven't met him before. That's a stupid thing to say but sometimes you just know it. At 9.01 am, I SMS-ed him and a couple of seconds later, I happened to notice a handphone hung around a queueing guy's neck light up on the screen. He looked around, called back and I signaled to him when my handphone started ringing. Next was discussing about 2 projects and this requirements over a cup of tea. It was a rather quick one done within 40 mins, but I guess that left me with more than 40 days of work. We parted with a handshake and I stoned for a moment before taking my leave.

I didn't know where to go after that. I was quite lost literally and mentally and so strolled down a few bus stops to look for the answer. By the 3rd bus stop, I had no findings and hopped onto a familliar bus service 13 which brought me to Boon Keng before switching to the train to head home.

Off to Jin Xian's place for project.

Trust

2007-01-27T03:30:00.000+08:00

Define trust for a confused mind.

Yadah, we were Bored

2007-01-15T02:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, this bitch finally decided to function again and so here we go, Ghim's laptop's webcam function. Anyway, Ghim's nickname is 'Ah Bear' so I shall refer him as 'Ah Bear' for the rest of the entry be it he like it or not. You peeps may click on the picture for the enlarged version.

The Majestic Bear says hi to all.

Now, he looks like a regular con-man who cheats old grandmas of their fortune.

Next, he pretended to be studious, thinking that the bigger the spectacles, the more hardworking he is. Wishful thinking.

For one moment, he decided to switch off the function and show his true form; HORNY DEVIL BEAR.

And the next moment, he tried very hard to be an angel by forcing a halo upon his head. Halo and Ah Bear, these two elements contradict. Beware dude, it may just slip down and choke you.

Next up, we'll have something more interesting. It's some animation character that mimics the facial expressions of the person's face while he faces the webcam. Introducing, Ginger Bread Bear. I don't know why did he drop his eyebrows but this skin isn't really responsive to Ah Bear's actions.

This old Ah Pek Wizard tried a kawaii-neh pose where you people usually see in hentai, but this one is a major turn off.

Of all, I like this the most because it's precise with the movements of the eyebrows. I requested Ah Bear to do 'The Rock' pose and there you go, it twitches its eyebrows like him.

Meanwhile...

Me: cannot show middle finger?

Ah Bear: No hand la.

*pauses for a few seconds*

Ah Bear: can, wait I show you.

I thought: Wah, really so precise ah! Can even show fingers!

So while I put all my trust in him and high-technology, he was doing this at the webcam and then turned off the animation function.

*roll eyes*

I think this one, the Shark Bear is quite funny. By default, the eyes of the shark are quite narrow. I told Ah Bear to open his eyes wide and it was reflected on the animation like this.

Unsatisfied by the size of the shark's eyes, I wondered if we could push the limits of it.

Me: Use your hands pull your eyes big big!

Ah Bear: cb la, pain lei.

ROFL, I can't imagine he really did it but couldn't see lah, wasted.

A question here, do you know that the process 'blowjob' existed during pre-historical times? Want see a T-Rex doing it?

I bugged Ah Bear to do an imaginary blow job and he did! The mouth was wide opened with those lethal fangs sprouting out and it was jerking his head to and fro. He must have looked like some erotic idiot behind the monitor!

Alright, that's all. I'm off to bed.

Boo

2007-01-13T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hello, the sick boy is here. I'm feeling better already, nose running much lesser, lesser cold sores but just can wait to be completely fine again. So limited these days, can't do sports, can't do my favourite which is eating anything I want. Don't feel that well being out, so gotta rest at home and very sensitive to rain (and unfortunately it still rains now and then.)

Felt bummed after mum reprimanded/nagged at me for getting home late. I kept quiet, because I don't really know if I'm right to argue or should I say, I couldn't argue. She's said that I come home late on Thursdays and weekends which I don't deny. But after a week of school, I just wanted to have a little time to keep in touch friends. And in a week, I also need some proper time with my girl. The problem is that she doesn't know that I've a girlfriend (I don't know whether she'll understand even if she knows) and I don't really know how to break it to her because though she didn't exactly say "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" but I can see that she don't really support the idea of me having one, especially after my bro's bad history. I don't know what's next yet but sometimes do still think of it, like what if I tell, how will she react and what if she objects. That's alot to think about besides the pile of undone/half-done projects.

Well, shouldn't let this dampen the mood here too much. Let me entertain you with Ghim's new laptop's webcam. The graphic and motion capture function is quite fun to play with for a while.

... screw this damned system

Bastard blogger doesn't allow me to upload pictures for now. You've my promise that I'll entertain you once the service decides not to be a pain in the ass.

If this Entry sounds Gross, the Medication have probably gotten into my Head

2007-01-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

Hi just a short one here.

Last Thursday, I spent $10.20 in a day and was quite proud of it. There's room for improvement still but guess what? I failed to make that good try contiguous and so friday I overshot again after going out with girl. But, AIYAH FRIDAY MAH! GIVE MYSELF A BREAK!

I was sneezing wholetime on Sunday and felt my throat itching. When night fell, it finally developed into some virus-package thing. My nose started running like a fucked tap and signs of throat irritation like greenish phlegm showed. Looking on the bright side, no fever YET, I shouldn't say it too soon because usually it ends up being some 3-in-1 virus package, so bloody convinient... for the doctor I'm visiting.

This morning, I skipped morning lessons to visit the doctor. My choice was the polyclinic as I've learnt to be a little more thrifty since the starting of the year (barely 10 days into the year only though.) I used to visit private clinics but found them a real rip-off. Almost four times the price for the same illness and prescription.Well but if I'm richer, I'll still go the private one instead because it's like buying time. Where by in polyclinic, firstly you wait bloody long for registration, next you wait even bloody longer for consultation, thirdly you wait again to pay up and then finally, you wait to collect your medicine. I'm just bitching, no issues on it since I choose to pay lesser.

I was given an MC but still attended school because there's too much lab lessons on the timetable for today and there's innovation and technopreneurship presentation. School sucked majorly because I was ill and feeling lethargic. Moreover, it was a Monday which regular students hate, as well as cool lecturers. Luckily there was some power down in lab today and the presentation is being postponed to next week. With one man in the team down (Jay Chou), a bad throat of mine and Liang who seemed to be lacking cocaine, we'll get to nowhere.

Anyway, poor Jay Chou. Everytime he returns to his motherland for a vacation, something happens. Social unrest, earthquakes and this time, he was taken away by the army (I believe you should know which army seized him by now,) just like Jinxian the other time, being captured by the Malayan army because they haven't applied for deferment.

I just heard that Jay Chou touched the soil of Singapore awhile ago, a warm welcome if you do read this entry.

Another incident was the plane crash in Indo and the first thing I thought about was Rico. Good Heavens he returned to Singapore in one single piece and condolences to the grieving families of those met with the air hazard. As seen on media, families seemed to be clinging onto the weeny hopes that their families will return or be recovered. I really do hope fpr a miracle.

Sorry for the sidetrack, I'll resume about my day. So throughout the day, I stuffed rolled up tissues up my either nostrils to stop the greenish gooey mess (so sorry for the details.) By the end of the day, I used up more than 2 packets of tissue papers and that reminded me of Weigy, my secondary 1 and 2 classmate whom we all nicked as "Tissue Paper Factory" because he brings a dozen every day and every now and then you see the little 'drain' of his desk infested with his contaminated tissue. Thank God, I think tissue papers are one of best inventions and life-saver. Imagine, people still using handkerchieves. It is too handy that I call it rat poison. Leave it in some corner for a rat to chew on and you'll find it dead later. I believe you've guess that, imagine using a square piece of cloth to settle your entire day's needs, like substituting it with my 2 plus packets of tissue today for instance. Bloody unhygienic. Guess I'll be bringing a tissue box to school tomorrow. It's more cost efficient that way.

So friends who are still using thier classic handkerchieves, do start using tissue papers today!

Whoa, this isn't that short after all,

out.

Another Year Repeats

2007-01-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

After working on IMF newspaper cuttings for sometime, my mum adopted their concepts and put it into small scale implementation at home, or rather, on me. My allowance used to be quite flexible (though not infinity like Jay's), and due to being active when I was in the club back then, I somehow made it more flexible and therefore overspent quite some bits. The new plan is to give me a very fixed allowance, half it, store half at home and another half in the bank where I can withdraw from. In any event that I bombed my allowance, I'll then have nothing to survive on till the next month. That's mainly to track how much I spend monthly.

So guess what? Today's the first day of school and it happened to start off so beautifully on a Wednesday, where lessons starts at bloody 8 in the morning, which also mean that I've to rise earlier than the rooster at 6. What's worse, my body clock still follows some European country and so I was awake till 4+ in the morning. I tried lying down but I just stayed awake even with my eyes closed for the next hour or so. Kamal was quite random, he was up later than me and challenged me to a game of MSN dam before I tried to turn in.

I managed to wake at 6 today, but only got out of bed reluctantly by 7. Needless to guess, this jackass cabbed to school again and it was a $10.20 rip-off. In total, I spent $23 today which was a major overspend for the day. Off to think about how I gonna cut down my on my expenses so I don't have to turn to busking at the end of the month.

Appreciative Crap

2006-12-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

Hi, Christmas is round the very corner and so is New year. I guess I won't be leaving entries till after it or way after it. Don't miss me though, dear readers (others can start throwing eggs at me.) A year have been over, quite quickly I would say. I'm sure some of you all have a good year, some was a little rocky and some was like a mine field. Whatever it is, I would firstly like to wish you peeps and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Those who have a good year, I do wish it'll still be good the next, if not better. To the poor fellas who fell in the rocks or tripped a mine or two, I've got something for you.

To prevent feedbacks like "Hey, you don't understand my situation!" or "Hey, I'm far more worse!" Well, I'm not here to debate who went through deeper shit or whose shit stinks more. I admit I'm fortunate to have a great family and friends. I fell into shit-holes too, sometimes even self-dug ones. Long story short, the point I'm getting across is - Be strong and keep on pushing. I don't mean you should be some bloody brave knight that parries flaming arrows unflinchingly, you may bitch once in a while or wholetime if people around are willing to listen.

A quote that I got off some bookmark: We grow stronger as we paddle through rough waters.

A poem that doesn't rhyme or whatever crap you want to call, from me:

There are times, when you think how unfair life is.
There are times, when there's no path laid for you.
There are times, when you can't find a bridge to get across.
There are times, when you strived but found nothing.
There are times, when you strived and finally found it.
There are times, when you strived but finally found it crumbled; In your face.

But in whatever case, welcome to life.
A journey never always smooth.
Think about how blessed are you now,
Probably resting one hand on the keyboard,
And the other on the mouse.
How much better looking you are than a mofo in your high school class.
Being able to read THIS bloody chunk off your monitor screen.
And later feeling thirst, being able to walk to your kitchen to get a drink.
Sit back and don't sigh,
Close your eyes and take a breather.
Enjoy the O-two you are taking in...

For the discouraged and tattered,

MrJack

To end this, I would like to share something. I guess most of you all have read e-mails about this photographer who suicided due to depression, after taking a picture of a starved African baby who was crawling towards a medical camp. By the way, the poor infant didn't make it and became the vultures' meal. I don't know why didn't the photographer rescue it at the first place but maybe he wasn't allowed to, that's why the guilt. That's not for me to know but my point is, even when confronted head-on with 'death' itself (the scorching desert heat of the area struck by a famine and the vultures in wait to scavenge its body), the poor little thing pinned all his hopes on his last breath and died trying, in a crawling position. God bless the poor soul. Yes, I may sound damn sick but so now, doesn't that give you the reason to keep fighting and living?

God gave us Five fingers for a Reason.

2006-12-12T04:39:00.000+08:00

Hello, I know blogging at this time's a little weird, but I've been sleeping almost the whole day. There's Rapid Application Development common test on Wednesday, some sort of dumb C++ programming test. I sort of went through the sample test paper and it leave lots of question marks in my head. Therefore since I can't get help yet (hopefully I can get by tomorrow), I've decided to just put my Sunday's working experience into words.

Anyway, my job was a kitchen helper of the banquet kitchen in Oriental Hotel introduced by Theo. Theo, Alvin and I met up at Cityhall at 9.45 am and left for the workplace as Chuan Lim will be late. We checked in, collected our uniforms and changed into it. Initially, I thought the checkered pants looked quite clowny but overall, the uniform is quite smart. It has the ability to give kitchen idiots a professional look (by the way I'm no kitchen idiot, okaaay.)

I was brought to the kitchen where I was introduced to Chef Roy, the master chef of the kitchen. My first job was to empty 3 bottles of Thai chilli sauce into a huge bowl. Following was unpackaging mini mantous and arranging mushrooms and mini abalones into bowls. I should say time passed pretty fast there. After 'massaging' the tiger prawns in the batter, it was lunch time and we left for the canteen for lunch.

After lunch, we were back to the kitchen and I was asked to help seperate some steam mantous for frying. It was also the first time I got reprimanded by one of the chefs. That was some sort of miscommunication but I guess it was unecessary to reason it out. Firstly, he's has got the grumpy old man look, and I don't want to risk having my head dunked into the huge wok of boiling oil.

Up next was preparing dishes for some banquet going on outside the function hall, which was also 'wartime' as labelled by Theo. The first dish was the cold plate and I was told to arrange the fried spring rolls on the plates. Chuan Lim and I was arranging them at hundred percent efficiency but the reason wasn't that it we were hardworking. The spring rolls were just too hot to stay in our fingers for another second. Till the last plate, we ran out of spring rolls and Chef Roy told me to get some from the warmer. I thought it was just warm and grabbed the container. Indeed it was at first but the heat went through my thin latex gloves after a few seconds and I nearly wanted to throw spring rolls away (luckily I didn't, else I'll probably get fucked for wasting over 200 spring rolls.) Unluckily, there wasn't any place near where I could put it down so I held it with my two thumbs, switched to index fingers and followed by the middle fingers before I found a space at the other end of the long table and dumped the load, before darting off to the basin to run my hands under tap water. The feeling was HOLY. Never was water felt so good on my hands. Surprisingly, it hurt at that moment but there wasn't any blisters today. After the full course was all being sent out, it was break time and we went Marina Square to slack.

We went back earlier and napped in the changing for awhile (I'll didn't want to sleep but was taken to dreamland by Chuan Lim's calm, constant, hypnotising and melodious snore. The next thing that I knew was Theo coming in to wake us up for dinner.

After dinner was the next 'war' and I heard that we're preparing dishes for 5566 and some other boyband. Who cares anyway, we're just at a kitchen where we're cut away from the world. The whole point is to last till the last dish of the banquet, throw our hats, celebrate and go home. Very quickly, everyone was back to preparing ingrdients for the next bandquet. I was handed a tub of sliced abalone and assigned to arrange the slices into rings in small metal bowls. That was the first time I've even seen so much abalone in my entire life. Hell tempted to pinch a few slices for myself but didn't because I decided that I should behave like a noob on my first day. Theo told me it's fine to just eat from the ingredients, so it'll do it next time. He called it "quality tasting" and so I'll say I was also tempted to quality taste the raw salmon while rolling them up. It was pure torture resisting.

By then, I've already came up with personal nicknames for some chefs. There's the Frying God, the Stir-Frying God and This Short Jap Chef (he just looks short to me). The Stir-Frying God was the only chef that held my attention while tossing the food in a large wok. As he tossed it, the prawns and veggies seem to be gravity-defying. The ingredients at the bottom of the wok goes up, swapping place with the ingredients at the top. That's damn style and skill and If I was to do that, I bet everything will fly and it'll start raining prawns and green beans. Anyway, the Frying God was the one who reprimanded. Apart from that, he was quite interesting as he was trying to show off his skill to me.

Red's the Frying God and Blue's me.

Spoken in Mandarin:

"Boy, want to play this?"

"I don't know how to, later fucked up."

"Won't lah see, I always dump the prawns in and go do something else."

"So, how do you know when they're ready? Colour or when it floats?"

Looking at me from the corners of his eyes, as if he has got some major top secret information to share...
"I know by experience."

I was like roll eyes, how useful it sounds to me. But later on, he further explained that the 'experience' was actually the steaming oil that appears at the edge of the wok.

I'm lazy to go into the details because they are rather similar to the ones in afternoon. Just that we all handled much more bloody hot stuff.

I shall conclude here. This job is much better than the job I had at hui lau shan (some bloody screwed dessert bar near Shaw House), don't need to feel underpaid while doing almost every shit, ranging from waitering, dishwashing, dumping garbage to simple accounting. It's comparatively good pay and welfare. 'Welfare' here doesn't only points to the meals provided and laundry service. It also goes to the 'sampling' of dishes after the banquet. I love the pork porridge topped with Thai chilli sauce crab, the shark's fin and the fried chicken. Chuan Lim is a total clowny ass. Having free shark's fin was already a privilege but he complained there wasn't enough essence and went around looking for pepper.

So after changing out, we rushed for the last train home.

ps: Running with crab and shark's fin swimming in your tummy may result in stitches and indigestion.

Argh, bloody wordy and too lazy for error checking,

out.

Presenting Chef Ho.

Fifteenth Asian Games Doha 2006, Event Number Forty-Seven

2006-12-09T14:03:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you sporty guys have been catching Asian games live, as well as the geeks who drool over synchronized dancing babes. Well, apart from the 39 sports and 46 disciplines, a new sport was introduced by Singapore. It's none other than Track-Jumping originated from Singapore lesser than two years ago.

(WARNING: Do NOT be geh-kiang and click the link if you think the movie SAW is very gory. Do NOT view with a full stomach because I did. Rated M-18 by MrJack's censorship.)

Click here to view the results of event forty-seven, Track-Jumping.

Click here to link to the Official website of the 15th Asian Games Doha 2006.

All in all, crap aside, do still rest in peace.

MrJack, 15th Asian Games Doha 2006 reporter, thank you.

I Love NYP

2006-12-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

Hello, and I'm back once again to brush off the webs spun around after being MIA for a fortnight. I went into a depression after having the bad haircut, was admitted to Buangkok Green Medical Park (the famous and fomer Woodbridge Hospital) and was diagnosed to be positive of a condition called "Bloody Mangkuk". The health consultant gave no prescription but told me that time could heal everything. So now, I've recovered and in case you don't realize, you just wasted 10 seconds of your precious life reading this paragraph.

I just noticed I haven't blogged much since the school reopened, just four entries and the term break is coming after the coming week. Two months have whizzed past pretty unknowningly. I'm pretty brain dead now and seem to have left my writing touch in room D701 of Buangkok Green Medical Park. So just let me flash some pictures and write on random events which might not even link.

This is Liang Teck, my classmate who either sleeps or daydreams during lectures. During this semester, here came the great transistional change. Just look at how focused he looked, reading off the bricky ~~BDSM~~ whoops, DBMS (Database Management Systems) text. It is one of the more boring modules (not that others aren't) and besides that, the book is freaking heavy, hard-covered and could break a spine if it is flung out of a window.

Anyway, just take a look and see how boring the text can get...

THIS BORING, and by the way Hello Kira and Deathgod.

I had three ~~tests~~ disasters this week, Networking Technolgy practical, E-quiz and Animation practical.

They swooped through my room like a twister and messed up everything. Networking Technology practical spent me one night trying to get a network with all devices ping-able on Packet Tracer, some simulation program. Luckily, things went smoothly for the test. I detonated myself during the animation practical test. We're supposed to make this canon ball crap that could load and fire with some silly counters. I failed miserably and the canon ended up looking obscene, due to it's repetitive penetrating motion of recoil. Fuck actionscript, and programming as well.

I noticed that the school is finally responding to we students' feedback. Maybe they were feedbacks made by seniors years ago but that's not the issue. I noticed that the E-learning Plaza at Block Q finally implemented the use of optical mice. Sadly, it's only like lesser than 5% of the entire lab's desktops. I suspect they had some spare and just chucked it for use in the E-learning Plaza.

Finally.

I honestly have nothing against wheel mice and am not fussy at all but the school glued up the wheel mice so students can't pocket the mouseball out of mischief. For this, I'll firstly curse those mischievous brats to lose their testicles like how they tampered with the poor mice. Next, I think the school made the smartest choice of gluing up the mice. The rollers collects dirt to the extent that the cursor became 70% unresponsive and pisses students like me off. When I bitched to my lecturer, all I got was "The usb port is for you to bring your own optical mouse." I don't know if he was kidding but I hope he is. To whom it may concern, please replace all the wheel mice with optical mice or do some regular maintenance so that balls don't get stucked.

Yawn, I'll continue bitching some other day.

Day 5

2006-11-26T15:40:00.000+08:00

Five days since I had a horrible mat haircut.
Five days I've been living in darkness, somewhat like I'm infected with leprosy.

Okay, maybe it wasn't as bad and I'm just exaggerating about feeling like a leper but I really miss my old hair. Everywhere I went, people will ask me the same thing. "You cut hair?!" "What happened!?" "Omg, Yit Jing!" Thanks Hairul for the brown beanie, you're the best.

Anyway once again to my dear friends, do NOT go barbers if you frequent salons all along. I remembered that I gave instructions to the barber exactly the same way I told the salonist. But the results are heaven and hell apart. Be warned.

This is Not a Racism Thing

2006-11-21T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to have my hair cut since Sunday but time was somehow a constraint. Finally today I had sometime, BUT THE SALON HAS GOT NO TIME FOR ME! I reached at 8.45pm just now and it was already closed. Even it's competitor at the left was closed. Boo, 8.45pm isn't that late right? Aiyah... what to do? Life sucks (I love to exaggerate!) Actually, not that much but eventually, YES. Life sucks. Read on for suckier details.

With every salon closed, I almost left with disappointment. Only the Malay Barber was opened, all the way till 9.30pm. I had never trusted Malay barbers since the age of thirteen (don't ask me why.) Tonight was different. I was already frustrated with my hair which was hard to keep tidy and the bloody two salons that didn't have the time for me. I just want to have it done by today and so made a reckless move of stepping into the Malay barber shop. Their staff were friendly jokers (which is a good point), but I forgot that I might be fashioned into a joker after their ten-dollar service.

I stepped out with really bad hair. Life sucks now (I'm not exaggerating that much.) I should've waited for tomorrow or gone to the salon behind my school after lessons instead.

The morale of the story: Decisions made on impulse may sabotage your life. Patience is the key to a life that doesn't suck.

Hmmm, maybe I should just cut army style to cover everything up.

The $3.5m Deficit; Any Challengers?

2006-11-13T02:21:00.000+08:00

Hi and I'm back for a little while. To my faithful readers (if there's any), my apologies for leaving my blog for spideys to spin webs.

Where do I start from? I've really got no clue. I've drafted an entry for stuffs of the new semester, got too busy to continue and got tuned out, not knowing how to continue when I got back during my short free times.

Just a quick touch, in case you don't know, I've got a new module called some technopreneurship, shit. A quarter of the marks come from playing an online business simulation where you're given some money to set up a comupter business, like Dell and earn profit. Well, the situation for me now is not earning profit sadly. It's purely to recoup SOME losses and so, take a look at this...

Alright, for the benefit of those with severe eye deficiency or cock-eyed in short, it reads:

Your firm took on an emergency loan of 3,555,678 in quarter 2. Your current emergency loan is 3,555, 678. This reflects poor financial management. You are advised to control your expenditures this quarter and pay off this loan.

For those who are still blur, yeah. I was blur and over produced stock, all because of entering one stupid attribute wrongly. Now that I can't sell them all at that quarter, I start oweing money and it's more than freaking 3.5 million (And before that, people like Sailesh and Rico were telling me stuffs like "KNN! CCB! my company owe 300k!) Who's in the deeper shit hole man? rofl.

Anyway, my teamates are Liang and Jay. Jay was telling me "The system KUKU!" Yah, I was hoping the system was somewhat fucked up and messed our assets but it was the truth we found out later on. But but but! It is really fishy some way. It says I owe $3,555,678. what the heck is with the running numbers man?! Seemed like they are paying some 3 year-old kid 10 bucks a day to sit behind the server to key in random numbers for each team to owe. And, maybe the key jammed when he was pressing 5, so my financial screwed up bad.

Actually in reality, I supposed to be declared bankrupt, have all my assets seized and I'll be either lying in my empty HDB flat and staring up at the ceiling reminiscing my great fall of all time or being throw behind to bars, gawning off tax payers' money.

But in this game, NO way man. For educational purposes, the system actually introduced the idea of a loan shark called Guido (Yeah, the mean old grumpy asshole you see in the picture above, with his big-assed cigar. Big deal huh?! Screw you man, my daddy used to puff a pipe and he's way cooler than you!) so that you can continue playing the game. I think it's totally against human rights because he just came in without my choice and claimed about 40% of my shares. That's like huge damage. It doesn't even allow me to resign and go hang or drown myself! So currently, I made do with my loan and if things go smoothly, I'll be able to recoup the loss in a quarter or two.

To sum up, I've taught meano Guido a lesson. Two punches and a broken nose for him!

So besides beating the crap out of Guido, I've been busy especially for Infocomm security presentation (which was over), basketball training for SIT Sports Championship (which is on this coming Saturday), class barbeque (which was over too) and last but not least, squeezing some time for my dear girl (which I hope will never be over, *smiles*)

Alright, I've got 2 tests tomorrow and actually, I do NOT know why the hell I'm still here at the first place. Got to go, and I'll be back with some entries on Sports Champ and my class barbeque,

out.

The Truth

2006-11-10T13:30:00.000+08:00

Choose one.
Yes or No?
1. Can you live without your family?
Can't.

2. Dare to kiss a stranger?
Stranger dogs only!

3. Kicked someone's ass before?
Yes, quite a few.

4. Scolded your teacher?
Nope, insulted only.

5. Cheated on examinations?
No, tests only!

6. Wish that a celebrity is yours?
Kind of, but I haven't gone gaga over any female celebs yet.

7. Hit yourself on the wall?
Yes, when life's at the sucking end.

8. Wish that your gf is here with you?
Of course (:

9. Wish that you can fly?
Yeah, I'm lazy but I don't want wings.

10. Wish that you were dead?
No, I love myself too much for that.

11. Lastly, 1 wish you want in life?
Married well?

12. & 1 word to end everything.
Simple.

YOU.
1. Are you a girl or boy?
boy.

2. Attached or single?
attached (:

3. Smoke or drink?
Both, and soon not.

4. Night or day?
Night

5. School or work?
After school.

6. Black or white?
Black.

7. Short or tall?
178, judge yourself.

8. Dance or sing?
Sing and maybe dance when I'm not sober.

9.Happiness Or Money?
Actually both, but happiness first.

10. RnB, Reggae, Rock, Metal, Techno or Emopunk?
Rock, Emopunk and some Metal.

WHOs.
Who sits next to you?
Bear, Liang or Jin Xian but never the '3G'.

Who sits infront of you?
No one.

Who's on your left?
Bear, Liang or Jin Xian.

Who sits behind you?
Jia Lin or Stephanie.

Who are your bestfriends in class?
I'm okay with all, not bestfriends perhaps, but just not "3G".

Most shy?
Ling Quan I think.

Cutest guy?
Me lah, me lah!

Cutest girl?
My girl (:

Prettiest?
Woot! Fiona Xie and my lao bu when she was young.

Most annoying?
My class? Kian kuan. He doesn't attempt but simply annoys me. That's called success without trying.

Brightest of all?
Bei Yuan.

Funniest?
Xavier and his cute figure, Rico hmmm...

Ugliest?
My mother taught me to sing praises instead.

If you could live one of your friend's life, who would it be?
I would like to try Anders' life for a couple of days but still want my own afterwards. I'm cool.

Your favourite teacher?
Agnes Ng.

The teacher you dislike?
Both Lams.

Favourite subject?
None sadly.

The subject you dislike?
Wah, bloody alot.

Who's your class monitor?
Jin Xian the bitch! =D

How's he/she?
fucking responsible!

Who's the class asst. monitor?
Rico.

How's he/she?
Left the class, boo.

Your class teacher is?
Mr See Toh Kok Hwee.

Your class?
MIT0508

Do you love your class?
I do like some people, but don't love it as a whole.

Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs:
You, you, you.. you and you! okay.

Now, This is Funny (version 2.0)

2006-10-22T03:49:00.000+08:00

Thanks, to Shirleen who is really bored, I'm back again. She found another version of the comedy lecture which was aired in the previous post, and this one shows the mysterious, sexy, bald lecturer with a moustache!

For the patient or bored peeps who want another laugh, here you go.

And for the ones who are itching like hell to know his appearance...

Sexier than Rakesh Roshan, heh.

Now, This is Funny

2006-10-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Hello, and I'm back to share a little things here. You ought to check this locally made video out man.

I like the way he gave his after thoughts. And some of the comments and improvement feedbacks are good entertainment material. I won't say much but he's cute for a lecturer huh? He actually went the extra mile to print the survey forms on transparencies to broadcast them during his ~~lecture~~ comedy show. Singapore's very first campus Russell Peters man! The only thing that bugs me and itches me not to know is HOW THIS LECTURER ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE. Why comments revolve around his moustache, being bald headed and sexy.

Well, maybe he looks like this...

I don't know who is this since I found his picture by Googling "bald bollywood" and he's called Rakesh Roshan. Obviously some Bollywood actor, ticks for bald and moustache but Shirleen just doesn't find him sexy.

Or maybe...

Needless to say, Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948). Anyway, I just found out that his full name is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and 'Mahatma' is some title for him which means 'Great Soul'. Alright, enough of history lessons here. You can read up more about this Saint here.

For your Safety

2006-10-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

-Confidential Profile-

Name : Unknown
Nickname : The Butcher
Age : 20-24 years old approximately
Height : 180(+3/-3)cm
Weight : Estimated at least 90+kg
Nationality : China
Location : Singapore
Haunts : NYP Block L basketball court
Speciality : Slimy Collision™

Fig.1 - front view

Fig.2 - side view

Fig.3 - back view

Photographer: AO

-End of Profile-

Hello friends. The new semester had started for a week and I'm sure some of you guys are really tired from morning lessons and stressed by the alienating new modules that are going to stick to you like uhu glue for the next 4 months plus. So just let me just introduce you a character that I've encountered for quite a few times on the basketball court at school. Take it as lameness, leisure or even a safety warning. Enjoy.

His nick didn't came to my mind at all in the first place, but after Theodore called him The Butcher, my mind doesn't reject it. So meaning, it just seem to suit him somehow. After some analysis and cross-referencing, I finally understood the reason behind it. His physique actually bears resemblance to that of a traditional chinese butcher. You know, obese and sweaty. Wears a tiny piece of vest that barely covers the shoulders. Alot of chest hair that an ant may think it's in the Amazon rainforest if it unintentionally found its way to the moist hairy chest. Enough said, I think you get the idea.

Anyway, below are 2 of the basketball fouls that I think he's commiting every now and then.

Technical Foul - Misconduct that officials believe are detrimental to the game; can be assessed against team members on the floor or seated on the bench. penalized by a free-throw opportunity to the non-offending team; also called a "T".

Personal Foul - Contact which occurs with an opponent after the ball has become live that may result in injury (including a push, hold, trip, hack, elbow, restrain or charge).

Now, why do I say that? Let me do a breakdown analysis.

Case study 1:
"Technical Foul - Misconduct that officials believe are detrimental to the game..."

He goes shirt-less on the court 24/7 with all the slime on him. Defenders get literally slided off him and he finds his way to the basket. People get disgusted and might not want to guard against him. Isn't that misconduct which is detrimental to the game? I would like to say, Hellooooooo? please put on your shirt, friend.

Case study 2:
"Personal Foul - Contact which occurs with an opponent... restrain or charge)."

Accordingly to the English dictionary:

re‧strain – verb (used with object)
1. to hold back from action; keep in check or under control; repress: to restrain one's temper.
2. to deprive of liberty, as by arrest or the like.
3. to limit or hamper the activity, growth, or effect of: to restrain trade with Cuba.

Yesterday, he rose to the ring with the ball while his chest slapped against Xavier's face (yes, lips included,) causing him to flinch despite me trying to support him from behind, but it was of no avail because the resultant crashing force seemed to have overpowered the sum of Xavier's and my weight. If I were Xavier, I would feel so yucked that I would want to rip off my lips and go for twenty showers. Without the weight factor, I think the slime is already a killer. Once again, put on a shirt, friend. Respect the game yo.

I think I seriously should put on more weight before guarding against him again. There was once where he butted me off and I had to stagger backwards for half a court's width, just to absorb the collision impact so as not to fall down flat immediately. So meanwhile, maybe I'll just dress like this if I have to play against him.

Yawn.

People Raise their Voices at times. Instead of Competing or Complaining, try Understand perhaps; It might be their Habit or they are Hard of Hearing

2006-10-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

Hello all, and Mr Jack is back once again to share with you his adventures.

I've been working from Monday to Wednesday as a waiter, no.. handphone promoter, no.. HOW ABOUT A CEMENT PLANT CONSTUCTION WORKER?! Unexpected huh? I just wonder how many local guys actually do that kind of job since some are either rich snobs, spoilt-like-hell brats or balloon-kids, a term I always used for overly pampered kids. Alright, that's besides the point. Let's hop on a lorry and off we go.

Dad's boss came to fetch us with an experienced-looking lorry in the noon. Why do I call it that was simply because it really looked experienced, with all the rough scratches, dirt, dusty wheels and some badly dented if not, broken rails at the back. Seemed like it went around the world, bypassed Ukraine, Italy and survived countless Mafia wars before landing itself below my block at the loading/unloading point to fetch us.

My dad's boss is young, in his early thirties. And their conversations sounds unusual, the fact that my dad seemed to be speaking like the real boss. But well, he in a way requested dad to help supervise because he still have got alot to learn from and as the chinese saying goes, the 'old' ginger's always spicier. So dad's old ginger, HAHA. Sounds like joke. When I first heard them speak, there's really alot of construction jargon. They kept mentioning it'll be a huge headache transporting the 'tank' to the new site and I thought: Tank only mah, what's so hard about it?

So after reaching the cement plant, I saw the bloody 'tank' and I changed my mind.

So friends, this is a cement plant and I bet you've seen it somewhere before. Our project was to dismantle the plant leaving the important parts intact and then transporting them somewhere else, awwww... can't we just dynamite it? Definitely looks complex and nothing close to dismantling LEGO blocks if you used to play that.

Hmmm.. it's quite hard for me to narrate my experience from day to day, so I'll just look and the pictures and see what I can back track from it.

This is the drainage at the cement plant site. I've got no clue what the fluid was supposed to be but it definitely looks polluted and the dust collected at the surface was so thick that the fluid became stagnant. While I was working there, you guys might be worrying about high PSI but I swear that was the last thing on my mind - reason being it was so clouded with concrete dust and etc untill the PSI probably was than 250 there and there's no difference; It doesn't matter at all what the actual PSI was. Anyway, thanks for your* well wishes and concern.

The above two are ~~equipments~~ ~~tools~~ weapons that I spotted lying around the place. The weren't the only ones, there were other pointy ones and lethal-looking ones. The first picture's still reasonable but for the latter one, what the hell is a mini-parang doing at a cement plant? Sounds like yet another episode of crime watch huh?

This was one of the few stray dogs that run around the site looking for leftovers. They were extremely shy to humans but if I could, I would want to take them all home for a good scrub. And some side info here, dogs are smart okay - they sense falling bricks better than humans do. On top of that, never have I heard of guard dogs being struck by durians for sleeping under durain trees at my uncle's plantation.

Thinking about laws enforced by the government in my usual daily life, a construction site can get quite 'bo zheng hu' (ungoverned) at times. My colleague answered that "Here, it's toilet everywhere," when I asked where to settle my nature calls. But of course, there's still a headquarters for huge business models...

And welcome to the headquarters which looks similar to the bathroom in SAW (the gruesome movie. Any bells rung?) I can see that not much people uses that but it's hard to guess why is it in a pretty bad state.

Okay, time for some random pictures.

Stairway to heaven.

Free fall to hell.

This unit of the plant dispenses mixed cement. Looks like a perfect setting for a grunge band's MV. Also reminds me of Skid Row's "Youth gone wild" MV. Rocks.

The blades that mixes the cement. You wouldn't want to imagine if someone falls into it. Poor fellow sure GG.

I don't deny that my legs were actually kind of wobbly during my first day up there. So freaking high plus zero safety measures taken man. One slip and that's it, but at such times I guess I became my own safety mechanism. I made sure that even if I slip, any body part will still be hanging on to something.

This was one of my jobs besides breaking walls and chiselling off unwanted cement that were accumulated. Take a closer look and it's actually a joint. My colleague used something like a brazer to melt the head of the bolt before I chiselled the rest of the bolt out together with the nut.

My play stuffs. Extreme top, a cold chisel which is known as 'zham kia' in constructional terms, below it a hammer and finally the stubborn headless bolt, washer and nut that I've hammered out.

Back to the 'bo zheng hu' issue, I see people littering everywhere and did the same too. There's no rubbish bin within 200-300 metres radius anyway. So I was drinking a can of coke up at the plant and decided to be playful by throwing the empty can down (you don't get to commit killer-litter everyday and being able to get away with it you see.) I thought dad'll nag a little about that but he doesn't seem to be bothered at all.. "Bing! Bang! Piang!"

To be contiuned... (Blogger decided to be a pain in the ass by not letting me upload more pictures.)

2006-10-13T14:25:00.000+08:00

I looked down to see these...

Fragments of metal frames that took flight from somewhere above. I was like "Whoa, whoa!" and before I could even scratch my nose...

The entire frame came crashing down, landing half of itself on the roof of a porch. Well that wasn't all too. And finally, down came the roofing too. That marked the greatest killer-litter I've witnessed in my life of 18+ years. What are durian shells, bicycles or even a television man? Still, do NOT try this at home kids.

No ladder? No problem.

I guess I was right about zero safety. Try picture what happens if the joker at the cockpit fiddles with the controls or if he dozes off and happen to crash his head on the wrong buttons. Good game to our friends up in the scoop.

Budget fireworks.

Whoops, almost forgotten my about my colleagues so I shall just end it with introducing them. Honestly I don't know their names and they don't know mine either, but I'll just say what I can.

This is one of my 3 colleauges, probably the most vulgar of all. He has got a car and motorcycle in Malaysia, and bikes over to work everyday. He's efficient which do not exclude getting his lunch and finding a good spot to nap after lunching. He's favourite quote is 'puki ayam' which literally means 'chicken's vagina' which actually means 'prostitute's vagina' which eventually equate to 'fucked up' accordingly to Darren. He's correct I guess, since everytime when we were in a sticky situation, my colleague says that. Besides that, he sometimes employs 'kanina' which sounds rather funny as it is inaccurate. My dad calls him something that sounds like 'Osama' and my other colleague nicknamed him 'ji bai kia' which means 'vagina kid' literally. Crude, but funny thing is when he was called that, he responds like he was being called in his proper name. *roll eyes*

The one on the left is my dad and the one on the right with the welding mask is my the other colleague (yes, the one that calls the one above 'ji bai kia'.) I don't know his name but knows that he's more updated than I do about entertainment news. I only learnt that Christopher Lee fell out with Fann Wong after some drunk-driving accident after he mentioned about it. He even commented that Chris had actually blew his chances in the coming Star Awards. Whatever it is, it doesn't affect me and sometimes I don't really trust the media. They simply love making an elephant out of an ant. Away with the sidetrack, this colleague of mine bears 'kanina' as his favourite quote. Can't find the tool he needs, 'kanina'. Brazer jammed also 'kanina'. So it should be a quite a surprise if you don't find me swearing after being with them for 3 days. My dad's a little different though, he has got no fixed swear word, swears only when it makes sense and when he needs to get certain point across. Or maybe he was maintaining his image in my presence but it doesn't matter actually, lah.

Lastly, this is me at work. People call me either 'aye' or something like 'sai lou' which means child or kid. 18 also kid ah?! But nevermind la, maybe just because they know me as their fellow colleague's son. He doesn't swear at all during work and doesn't even talk. He just followed any instructions given in mandarin since he understood lesser than a quarter of the discussions which were made in Malay and some other dialects. (Somehow I only identified the vulgarities, HAHA.)

Anyway, we aren't the only ones around. There are other workers working at other parts of the plant and they all thought I was some new worker. During the first day, I was mistakened as a China man. Second day, some Malay thought I could speak Malay and tried to start a conversation, leaving me like some sotong nodding and shaking my head. Third day, I become some Thai and so, SAWATDEE KRUP, LA GON!

Exams, weren't any Tougher

2006-10-09T05:24:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be in bed, probably lying in my standard favourite position which is stretching my limbs out to be straight. My sleeping posture is besides the point anyway. I've been tossing and turning quite abit on bed and so are my neurons. I'll be glad if anyone wants to help me by batting me out.

As usual, I shared my ~~mess~~ ~~problem~~ whatever-you-think-is-the-right-word (as there's simply no one word that can describe it right now) with Darren. He returned his views which are seemingly right, maybe? He labelled me "being an ass" for thinking too much. I guess he's right, but I haven't found the key to putting it to a stop.

After grouping my random thoughts, I came up with 3 choices which I asked Darren to pick one since I wasn't too sure. So right now... MCQ TIME! The all-time favourite of all students.

Question
So just what the heck is up in Mr Jack's mind?
1) Being an ass
2) Screwed up mentality
3) Wanting to be nice in a way, but overkilled such that no one actually benefits.

"4) All of the above", he immediately jested.

I don't know if I should laugh or something else. I really don't know. I was told the saying which goes, "You can't cook an omelette without breaking a few eggs," which means you can't complete great things without a few casualties, accordingly to Darren. I don't even want to think about who are the omelette, who is the broken eggs or if the whole kitchen catches fire.

I realized I'm naive. I had always wanted everybody to be happy, at least my family, friends and even acquaintances. On contrary, I had also always told troubled peeps, "If I were to make everybody happy, I would be dead by now."

So now, what am I?

Time's a Killer

2006-10-08T05:02:00.000+08:00

Still tangled in my thoughts now, searching the answer which is the staple in the huge haystack. I can't really entertain you faithful readers now and I sorry. I was watching some videos on youtube for relaxation and now, allow Kim Sang Min, some Korean singer to entertain you instead.

"She's Gone" cover by Kim Sang Min (Live)

"She's Gone" by Steel Heart, the original performers

Compare them and you may just find both the vocalists as good. Kim's Asian some more! I thought only ang moh or malay vocalists can do that! I simply love the way he's able to be in full control of his voice even when he got to scream as he hits the extremely high notes. Notes so high that I'm not capable of singing even if a guitar is being shafted up my ass, or if my balls are being put in between a nutcracker.

I think Kim rocks as much as Steel Heart man! But I've got no slightest clue why 5566 and Energy, 'that' kind of typical bands (you know, and if you don't, no offence) get much more publicity than him. Maybe the word 'fairness' is just created for 'un' to be added in front, to invert the meaning. People have always told me, "Life's no fair game," and I wonder.

Three cheers for Kim to close this entry.

Over the Line, Without a Hook

2006-10-07T07:43:00.000+08:00

Tangled among 8971412 knots which I don't know whether are dead knots.

Lost in deep thoughts, deeper than the pacific ocean.

The answer seems to be a staple in the haystack.

Out of the Picture Out of the Box

2006-10-05T04:15:00.000+08:00

People have asked me, can friends stay that way forever? Can guys and girls preserve thier close friend status? Do you prefer a best friend or a bunch of close friends? Can parties of a broken BGR remain as, or be friends once again? Have you fell out of a friendship that you think is a great loss to you? Is there eternal friendship?

I've got no definite answer for the above, but can say maintaning or pushing friendship to a higher level is a two-way thing. Change is the only constant, perhaps that's what that makes me think there's no eternal friends or foes.

This is not an advice or EQ question of any kind but just personal thoughts.

Is the cup half-empty or half-full?

Have have you been walked out on or walked out?

Have you lost somebody or somebody have lost you?

Most of the time, I'll like to say the cup is half full, I'm not being walked out on but the opposite and somebody have lost me instead of me losing them.

Sometimes, I wonder why the word 'friend' ends with 'end'.

Do you remember the hottest trend by the sixth year of your primary education - writing in each other's autograph books and leaving messages like "Friends Forever" letting the 'riends' and 'orever' share a bigger 'F'. Are you still talking to them these days? Do you wave and smile when you get to meet them by chance? Do you grab their hands and give a warm handshake over the short coincidental reunion? Or do you both your eyes meet in a familliar manner but later pretend to be strangers.

I don't deny I've totally lost contact with almost all my primary school friends and even more than a handful from secondary school, but I won't say that I've lost them or they've lost me if we are still able to connect after the long absence.

I guess I should end this now, as you might be wondering what the hell I'm churning. Same goes to me as I might just look back in the future and maybe wonder what the hell was I writing too.

ps: Friends, ermm... I not sure to use the word 'friend' or not since I've mentioned about it ending with 'end' but I'll still use it anyway. If you are thinking that our friendship might end one day and it bothers you, thanks for the thought and not to worry, I'll surely be thinking the same. And as I said earlier on that it is a two-way thing, we might already be doing the maintanence, just that we don't realize it. For others whom you probably know who you are, maybe that's the reason why prefer to label you all as 'brother' instead of 'friend'.

Apart from the Drama

2006-10-01T18:00:00.000+08:00

Besides the action yesterday, I almost had early dinner with mum and bro at Compass Point's Delifrance. Why almost? Read on.

This is the sign that provided me with an instruction to follow. I did accordingly but after a couple of minutes, no one attended to me. I assumed that the girl at the counter was busy cashiering and decided to give her awhile more. After the customer had made his payment and left, I thought she'll do her job but she started to stone like I was fucking invisible. I took a few steps back to make sure that the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign really existed.

"Excuse me, table for three."

"Take a seat inside while we attend to you."

Unprofessional I would say. They are making customers feel uncertain of what's going on. So after taking a seat and a glance at the menu and staff, I decided it's not value for money at all to dine there. Even more unworthy for me to pay them 10% service-charge, so I left for KFC instead.

After dinner, mum did some shopping at Cold Storage, and as usual, I bummed around looking for beer, at hard liquors, at the roasted section and for weird looking fruits (conjoined apples, oranges that come in irregular forms.)

Now these caught my eyes - Rotten durians. I suspect the man in-charge of packaging is either having a severe case of short-sigtedness or was just sleeping on his job. I inspected it and found the smaller patch to be a gap and inside the it was all black mess. It was so so so so obviously la! And I wondered why no staff noticed.

I don't buy packaged durians anyway. I don't trust the cleanliness since after watching some durian vendor at the market blowing ants off a segment with his mouth. Later saliva fly here and there kena the durian how?! My lao bu say I can't share saliva one leh! Hahahahha.

I cooked late brunch for myself at around four plus today.

Omelette Fried Spicy Noodles with Chilli Squid and Dried Shrimps!

Charred on the outside but moist on the inside.

Ladies, Do Something if Someone's like Staring at your Boobs

2006-10-01T02:35:00.000+08:00

Boring Saturday night again, I met up with Darren in town and decided to grab a bite at Chippy's.

"Hey, give me a fried Ma..."

"Sorry, we are closed."

Disappointed man, was about to order fried Mars bar and cheesy curry chicken but they were closed. The aroma from far gave us false hope!

Anyway, I was telling Darren this' just another boring Saturday and the moment I missed the last train, I got onto a fateful NR6 towards Sengkang interchange, things changed, for the next two hours at least.

I got on the bus and moved to the rear. It was a usual un-starry night, everything was calm. People were half-dozing, some fully dozed and this pair of ladies were open-bitching and then cracking into unfeminine laughters just in front of me.

After a couple of stops, I began to notice something out of the norm. Stood a man, in his late-forties (I suck at guessing ages), looks a little tough with crew-cut, in checkered-collared-short sleeves with black long pants plus leather shoes holding a middle-classed briefcase.

He looked stoned and the main thing that captured my attention was that he kept standing and sitting for 89790097876 times. He seemed to be aimlessly travelling and kept asking a guy in front on the bus route and where to alight if he wanted to get to Sengkang interchange. He even told the guy to remind him when the bus reaches but the guy had to get off somewhere at North Serangoon. Next, he approached the two bitching ladies in front of me. Every several stops, he stood, sat and asked the two ladies "How to get to Sengkang"/"Where to drop"/"Is Sengkang near?" until they got quite pissed because he was constantly breaking their train of bitchings. I fixed my eyes on him, monitoring his slightest motions. He started even weirder practices soon, such as digging his nose as if he's trying to enlarge his nostrils and licking the clock face of his metallic watch like how a psychopath serial-killer licks his blood-stained dagger in a horror flick. From then, I had an imminent feeling that something bad's gonna happen. Maybe I was thinking too much, I thought, since my dad did some basic palm reading on me today and told me I think too much in both good and bad ways. After the bitchy pair alighted, the weird fellow moved slightly towards me and gave me an intimidating stare, almost an I'M-GONNA-KILL-YOU! one. As I said, I was sitting at the rear and he must be staring at me. I turned on my guard and returned him a Hey-I-can-be-friendly-BUT-that-doesn't-mean-I-don't-STING look. There was a moment of silence before the eye-power war broke and..

"This bus goes Sengkang interchange?"

"Yeah."

"Sengkang interchange?"

"Yup, all the way."

He then stood up for the final time and moved to somewhere at the middle. I relaxed for a second or two and continued monitoring him. He was standing next to this couple who were chatting as if he was non-existence. I wondered why they seemed unbothered as the fellow was very close to the girl, so much that the girl would have been greeted by his crotch if she had turned her head left. Besides that, It seemed from my view that the fellow was staring down either at the girl's head or chest. Immediately registered into my mind was Buangkok Green Medical Park escapee, molester or snatch thief ("occupation" arranged in descending order of possibilities.)

I almost didn't blink and continued watching. He shifted his hand towards the girl, as though he was going to tap her shoulder but went lower, looower, loooowerrrr and finally gave her chest a quick single grope. Everything was seen almost in bullet-time by me. (Ermm, The Matrix effect you know?) I was a little stunned but the girl and her brother was probably much more stunned than I was. They frozed for more than five seconds before confirming it was reality and how to react.

"JADSASJDHSAKLSLF!!!"

"ajsfhkljasflsafksf..."

"DSADSADSAFSAFSADDSAFOLJLLKJJH!!!!!"

"asdasjfkhd..."

And someone stopped the bus.

I'm too lazy to type out the details, so long story short, the girl and her brother confronted the molester over the incident or 'accident' as claimed by the molester himself. They confrontation somehow moved to rear, I felt caught in the crossfire and shifted to the middle of the bus.

I could only remember random lines like...

"I'll call the police!"

"You anyhow touch my sister!"

"Sorry"

"I treat you supper."

"I need to work tomorrow."

"I'm on medication."

"You dress sexy and I'm desperate."

"You can go Geylang!"

"I say sorry already what you want me to do?"

He just kept apologizing and giving lame excuses to escape while the other side bombarded at him. People started to get off the bus till there's only the three involved parties, the bus captain, another girl and me. I watched on, not that I wasn't standing up for justice but just on stand-by to tackle him in case he decided to get violent. Fortunately, he was passive.

The police came and took the molester away in handcuffs. The girl signalled an apology to us (captain, the other girl and me) for the delay which was returned by no-prob gestures.

The bus continued the remainder of it's journey peacefully.

After all these observations, besides being a molester, I guess the guy's a mild mental patient who missed a round of medication. Quite saddening, unsure of what to feel but he'd better be what I thought else I'll HAHA at him.

To my dear friend Xiaowei, I suggest you move somewhere else which is not opposite or near any direction of the Buangkok Green Medical Park before you become the next molested or molester, heh.

Hi Peeps, It's Five Forty-Three in the Morning

2006-09-30T05:43:00.000+08:00

Hello again and time check, it's 5:43am right now. The streets at Punggol are deadly silent and motionless. Hawkers are setting up their stalls, kopitiam uncles and aunties are getting their water boiled, nightshift peeps are waiting for six to come, vampires are returning to their coffins, MY NEIGHBOUR'S VINTAGE ALARM CLOCK JUST RANG, but what the hell am I doing here? No, I'm not awakened by any calls from aliens or Mr Cheng (check out "Disgruntled Jack in "Why It Truly Sucks to be a Senior" if you wonder who Mr Cheng is.) Basketball accident today left me with a quite-cranky left wrist and I don't feel comfortable enough to fall asleep after tossing and turning on bed for quite awhile. Boo! I had some chocolate which I believe are painkillers. Oh my god, I'm craving for fried mars bar right now that I'll marry* any girl that brings it to my doorstep.

*Offer closes by 6:15am, HAHA.

Maybe I've got Feminine Features

2006-09-28T03:18:00.000+08:00

I found this link off some blog and decided to play around with it. I don't know whether I should regret trying or not... BUT NOW, IT SAYS I LOOK LIKE MIRA SORVINO, A FEMALE WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS, but definitely some celebrity la (ahhh, nonsense). The keyword is FEMALE here, wth? Nevermind... at least Takuya Kimura and Takizawa Hideaki are males. The remaining are all female celebrities like Gillian Chung and Lee Hyori (which I highly suspect might be a porn star). HAHA, maybe I've got feminine features but who cares?! I love myself, always.

The Best Part of Shopping is Breaking for a Snack or Two

2006-09-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

Hello, I'm back from shopping with Jessica and Yuan Ching yesterday. We shopped bloody long at Far East Plaza and then at Heeren's. I think Jess is under the Wei Shan influence and started getting gold shiny stuffs like glittery gold earrings and a gold hairband. Yuan Ching, on the other hand got nothing she wanted and so any-o-how (I suppose) got a bear pedant with chain for self consolation.

The shop where YC got her bear pedant sells quite funky stuffs like favoured soap bars? Flavours available in almond, strawberry, white and dark chocolate. They really smell like chocolate and I ain't no kidding man. So much that sniffing it triggered me to pay Chippy's British Take Away a visit. I ordered Fried Mars Bar + chocolate ice-cream as well as tempted Jess to get one but somehow she was headstrong or maybe she lied to herself. At last, she got calamari rings which were equally sinful. So to me, no difference that I've managed to tempt her to get fried mars bar or not. YC got the pepper chicken bits from Shihlin Taiwan Street Snacks which was just next door. That was undeniably the best part of shopping to me. I promise to take zoomed pictures of their other snacks like Cheesy Curry Chicken, Cheesy Hotdog with Mashed Potatoes. And of course I'll not forget to order Fried Mars Bar and take pictures of it too!

These are what I've got for myself...

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines. You almost made me cry again this time.

This is the nightmare we fall asleep. This is the nightmare we die complete. Tonight's the night, and it's all we need now, to die romantic.

Aren't the fonts pretty? I found this Funeral For A Friend tee but the design and font isn't nice. More shopping for bandstuff with Sailesh next time at Peninsular Shopping Centre!

Before leaving for home, we had dinner at Plaza Sing's mac. Jess buay paiseh one, asked for each of every sauce for a packet of fries. But the counter guy was friendly, gave like free. Good service, that's what we need in Singapore.

36 Strategies to Successful Marketing

2006-09-22T14:33:00.000+08:00

This was what I learnt from one of my friends who did sales for insurance. Personally, I don't fancy sales but just to share this with some of you out there, working on part-time sales and facing some problems in convincing customers. Here we go, enjoy.

Firstly and most important of all, we must use this opposite-sex approach like what bloody tele-marketers do (I don't buy their shit, so don't try selling anything to me).

Next, for guys. Target aunties or what they call Ah-Sohs, especially aging ones which you think is 40 plus and almost 50.

Start talking about your product, giving her very brief explainations. Do not go deep unless upon request as doing that may just turn her off.

When you have run dry on brief explainations, suddenly interrupt and sidetrack.

Blue is from Sales personnel and Red is Aunty's-expected-reply. Translations might be literal, proper, if not broken.

Sales personnel's Plan A: “小姐啊，你三十几？”
(Miss, you are.. thirty something?)

Aunty: “AIYOOO, 没有啦？！”
(Aiyooooo, where got?!)

Aunty: “你可以做我的儿子了lor！”
(You can be my son already lor!)

Now, whip out your lethal weapon. Most ladies are very self conscious of their appearances when they realize they are starting to age.

Sales personnel's counter-attack Plan B: “是 meh? 给我猜你最多三十出，三十五。”
(Let me guess, you are at the max thirty plus, thirty five?)

Aunty: “AIYO 阿 BOY 啊, 你嘴好甜啊！”
(Aiyo Ah Boy, You are glib-tongued!)

Sales personnel's Plan C: “我不是在开玩笑！I/C 拿来。”
(Ain't no kidding here, show me your I/C.)

In the next few seconds, her I/C will be fished out and it clearly states that she's 40 plus and almost 50.

Sales personnel's counter-attack Plan D: “看不出 leh. 你不要骗我啦，拿你妈妈的 I/C 来骗我。”
(There's aren't any visible signs that you are of that age, stop lying to me! You are faking me with your mum's I/C huh?)

Aunty: *self-giggles* “没有啦，没有啦, 可能是我有去做脸。”
(*self-giggles* Don't have la, where got? Maybe because I do facial.)

Execute final plan, Operation Back-To-Topic: “OKAY 刚才我给你看的产品着么样？”
(Alright, so how's the product I have introduced you just now?)

Isn't this a win-win situation? Aunty goes home smiling herself to sleep although the product isn't of much use and you earned you living.

Some may say, "Hey, not all aunties would buy this shit."

I would say, the key to success includes trying. If this doesn't work on Aunty A, try on Aunty B! Just like when there's no market in Singapore, venture into Malaysia, Thailand and so on.

Good luck.

SANDSTORM LAI LIAO! ZHAO AHHHHH! "Limpeh ai use laptop, you all zhao first"

2006-09-22T01:29:00.000+08:00

Today's another night out with Des and Ang. We were supposed to look for a keyboard, for me and then have dinner buffet at suki sushi but changed our minds due to time mismatch. We checked out some IT shop as well as Popular bookstore at Compasspoint. The IT shop sells nice keyboards (neon, gaming keyboard etc) but the prices weren't within the budget that I've set. I don't really game much, so there isn't a need for a keyboard that enhances. Neither am I that noob with the keyboard, I DON'T NEED NEON TO TYPE IN THE DARK. I guess the neon's just part of the design. Nowadays, neon seems to be the coolest shit to possess. People modify their racing cars with neon, even huge lorries and garbage trucks aren't spared. They mod their motorbikes, trishaws and bicyles all with neon. My brother mod-ed his CPU with neon and finally even keyboards have neon. See the market for neon? I think I'll invest on neon briefs and bikinis. Isn't it sexy and dazzling to watch as the light glows from under the clothing?

Sorry for the sidetrack and next we head to Popular for more budget keyboards. We browsed and came across this, the Mini Keyboard.

Not only is it compact in size, portable, convenient for laptops, flexible and maybe stretchable...

It still is designed to be 1) spill-resistant and 2) usable in a SANDSTORM!!

Alright, this is how a sandstorm looks like...

Now, WHO THE HELL WANTS TO BE USING HIS LAPTOP UNDER SUCH HARSH CONDITIONS?!

Hmmm, maybe I was wrong...

Back to the story, I choosed a black Genius keyboard which costed about 16 bucks. Budget, sleek, includes wrist rest and has a good feel of keypress. Decent.

Next stop was snacking along the streets of Kovan. We had pretty good Hong Kong dim sum at whatever it is. Promise that I'll remember the name and bring back some pictures when I dine there again. We walked down the street, planning to have Punggol Nasi Lemak but it was closed. There's another dim sum stall near there, which I'll try again near future. I'll describe the stretches along Kovan as one of the delicacy heavens. Mouth-watering Midnight Curry, herbal chicken, oyster omelette and stuff. Check them out.

Tao Huay from Selegie Soya Bean (Kovan branch). Warm, smooth and tender.

There's this pet shop beside the Tao Huay stall and while queueing, Des and I saw this HUGE fluffy brown dog through the glass door. Des' immediate reaction was, "Eh, lion!" It really did look like a lion with it's bushy 'mane'. I tried to snap pictures of it but it turned its head away. And when I further coaxed it to turn around by knocking gently at the glass door, it got up and strode away.

"DON'T TAKE THEN SUA LOR! BIG DEAL HUH? DOG WALK LIKE LION I SCARED?"

After we got back to our seats, we lied to Ang that there's a lion cub in the pet shop next door and he actually believed and wanted to go over to see immediately. We further lied that the lion is caged and wouldn't run away. We finished our tao huay and went into the pet shop to show Ang the 'lion'.

See, what's with the Paul Twohill influence. Even hamsters pose him. He's long out already lah. You don't even know where's the face and what direction is it facing. Just like the 'mop-head' ghost from Wishing Stairs if you had watched it. Shireen and I discussed about him over MSN and I typed his name as '2hill'. Suddenly, she told me she was lost in the conversation and thought I was talking about boobs because she thinks 2hill sounds like boobs. Okay, RANDOM.

This was our last stop, chilling at some adventure park which isn't really adventurous. Left to right: Des, Me and Ang.

The Drastic Drop - 3.25 to 2.809

2006-09-20T14:03:00.000+08:00

Introduction to Entrepreneurship----- C+
Data Structure & Algorithms---------- D+
Operating System Management---------- C
Internet Programming----------------- C+
Web Design & Development------------- C+
Electronics Communications----------- C
Computing Mathematics 2-------------- D
Web Portal Development Project------- C+
Communication Skills 2--------------- B+

GPA: 2.809

Hello again, and I'm back with the results of the semester. This entry solely displays how fucked up I can get. I started off with 3.3, mostly As and B+s. Then, As and Bs with a GPA of 3.25. Today I fucked it up beautifully with C+s, Cs and even Ds? So boy, what about next semester? All Ds and flunks?

Yeah, they are really bad but I'm quite relieved that I passed all of them. Especially like for Introduction to Entrepreneurship, I argued with the lecturer, Lam and he challenged me to 'settle outside'. Bloody unprofessional. Being tied down by strict school rules like getting expelled for assaulting lecturers, he was safe. So conclusion, my grade is as lousy as him.

Concerning Computing Mathematics 2, I've quite alot to say. The lecturer, Ah Ma as Sailesh called her might be the reason of school dropouts and teens landing themselves behind the bars. She had got nothing good to say about the class(es). She labelled Rico, gang and me 'rotten ones'. Well, if we are rotten apples, you are dried raisin. And for the goodness of the holy land, please put the microphone to full use instead of struggling with finishing up the sentence and then ending up screeching. Friends and I were right about our Mathematics lecturers. First, we had Tanal who had an atrocious pronounciation of English. Next up, we have Khoo who was caring, tried to entertain but was boring and seemed like he was doing his own maths homework while he was supposed to teach. And finally, was Ah Ma which I had already commented above. Thinking back, Tanal's still the best besides her English. Although she didn't liked me much, she still made it a point that I should understand what she was teaching. Good news, there's no mathematics next semester! Which means no risk of getting worse lecturers.

Thinking about Web Portal Development Project bubbles my blood. The lecturer didn't call us back for an arrangement of a presentation date which he earlier stated when we rang him. Now that we had finished the project nicely in four sleepless nights. Got a bloody C+, whose fault? Darren told me that 100% effort doesn't equate to 100% payout. True, I shouldn't be harsh on myself.

Communication Skills 2 is my best module for this semester. Good lecturer what, Ah Ma and Lam see the difference yo?

For the rest of the modules, I admit it was me being fucked up, oversleeping, sleeping in lessons and skipping lessons. But there's always next semester where I need not commit to the club. A wake up call for me and for the next semester, I'll definitely do much better.

8 + 1 = 9 hor?

2006-09-19T03:57:00.000+08:00

The registered modules were out and Darren of NYP told me to give it a check. From there, you can know whether you have cleared all the modules in the previous semester. Example: You check against friends from the other path (there are 2 paths on rotary), the number of modules they took the previous semester. And if the number tallies with the number of modules you are registered for the following semester, the gods are with you, you are safe.

I counted 1, 2, 3... 7 and 8. I scrolled my MSN contacts for fellows from the other path and found Aldis, the only one who's awake at this ungodly hour.

Me: how many modules you took for this sem?

Aldis: 8

Me: WOOT!

And before I could drop on my knees to cry praises to the heavens while kowtowing, Aldis had to ruin the moment...

Aldis: +1 elective

I thought to myself...
HOLY SHIT! 8 plus 1 gives 9 right?!

Frantically, I went to do a double-check...
I counted once, twice and almost thrice. Still 8!

OH MY GOD, DID I BLOODY FLUNKED ONE MODULE?!

Me: wait, we haven't select elective huh?

Aldis: ya, lol. i also dun have elective.

Phewwww.. I cleared all my modules this semester. Aldis' classic 8+1 made my heart skip a beat and nearly ripped my soul from the body.

Well, now that I know that I've passed my modules, something else is bugging me - MY GPA. It's gonna be out in lesser than a day. For bored peeps out there, I've got a suggestion. Get your homies and crash one of their places. Stock up loads of beer and if there's a need for, hard liquor. Watch DVDs till 12am when the results are uploaded onto the net. Login to check your results and DRINK TO GET OVER OR CELEBRATE!

Anyway, this entry of mine sounds like the follow-up of my another entry almost a year ago. Check this out A healthy liver breaks down about 10 grams of alcohol in 1.5 hours.

Back in School they Never Taught us what we Needed to know, like how to Deal with Despair, or Someone Breaking your Heart

2006-09-15T13:56:00.000+08:00

It haven't been good recently and everyone around seemed to be caught up in some kind of relationship or other problems. My few good friends and my own brother. Heard that his relationship with his girlfriend timed-out or something. I think army's the best for him now. He rang back to complain about aches here and there but is sleeping and eating better as each day passes. hah, maybe he've got no choice there.

Broken relationship is like a snapped string. Tragically, it's an irreversible effect. Some may say "I can tie it back again." But I'll say, "It won't be as smooth as before with a knot somewhere." There's no way you can bring it back.

Don't you wish we live life like photoshop? Undo previous move and Discard file will be my favourite functions.

Anyway just to lighten this up a little, Ang and I went up to Desmond's to chill.

Desmond brought out his Jack Daniels and we used this Hard Gay version of Kurohige's Kiki Ippatsu (I've got no godamn clue what it means) to judge the loser and he had to drink. For those who've got no idea about this toy, it's some silly toy with this man sitting in a barrel. There are many slots here and there and players will take turns to stuck a piece into the slots. Some unlucky jackass will eventually penetrate the 'one wrong hole' and this HG man will be ejected accompanied by a FHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! for this the the Hard Gay version. Well, silly invention but necessary for drinking because it beats Indian Poker hands up.

Hard Gay loaded up with pieces in the slots. It wasn't more than few turns when it was time for me to drink again. Thanks Ang and Desmond. Thanks Des for the acoustic recording. Oh, by the way we were recording some acoustic songs. Maybe it'll be up somewhere on the internet near future. I'll update on that.

Things to do when you are Damn bored

2006-09-14T23:13:00.000+08:00

I've stoned and is soon beginning to rot. Thanks for these man.

1. Sleep like I do, waking as late as 4 to 5 in the noon. Time passes kind of quick that way.

2. Engage in very random conversations like...
i need an ass rub. says:
my butt pain
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
lol! how come?
i need an ass rub. says:
ermm got knocked over durin bball
i need an ass rub. says:
now i want an assrub.
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
whoa whoa
i need an ass rub. says:
hurry rach!
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
LOL
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
my hands full now la
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
ahahhaha
i need an ass rub. says:
ahhh damn. forgot that you use 2 hands to type.
Rachel [The shadow of love is rebellion.] says:
i can step on your ass if you want

3. Play Yahoo Graffiti. It's something like Pictionary in case you don't know. It can create self-satisfaction, laughters as well as cause people to be pissed off (when your friends guess faster than you do) or the artist's drawing is really wtf while trying to draw something that depicts the word. Thanks to the guys that entertained me.

4. Buy blank pizza pastries and apply your creative juices to make it tasty. I've tried with marinated chicken chunks, cocktail sasauges, clams, tuna, loads of mozzarella and grated cheddar. Beat Pizza Hut's fat, chunky, bloody thick and greasy pizza crusts.

Starting from almost-scratch.

Cocktail sausages, tomato sauce base, cheddar, mozzarella and clams.

All done, ready, and hot from the oven.

5. Visit www.thatvideosite.com. They have rather interesting, hilarious, lame and really full-of-shit videos like captured accidents and the extreme bullcrap or whatsoever that the dough boys do. Well, it's up to how you see it to be funny or not and at no time shall you and your airhead buddies attempt the stunts performed by the dough boys.

Here are some links...
Jackass Number Two: The Gauntlet
It Really Sucks
Cheerleading on live television gone wrong
You do not steal from monks, they will fuck you up indirectly

maybe to be continued...

Companyyyyyyyy... ATTENNNNNNNNN...TION!

2006-09-11T03:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a 'BIG' day for my dear brother. Family and I accompanied him to Pasir Ris bus depot to board a shuttle bus which ends at Changi Jetty (yes, which might be your favourite gay spot). We then proceeded onto the ferry which was already making me sick while on stationary. I wonder if they prepared vomit bags for us. We disembarked at Pulau Tekong, a place where most young men will dread. While waiting to enter the gates of the army camp, I saw this camouflaged joker ~~strolling~~ patrolling, pacing up and down with a M-16 assault rifle. Funny thing was that he looked quite poised for a fight but his rifle was empty at the magazine slot! For show only, I would say. You don't need to stuck the barrel up a recruit's brain to make them do things you want. Or maybe, it is for shooting recruits' asses for attempting to run away?

We were then seperated at some spot where the family members went for the 'family' tour and the recruit went for their 'recruit' tour. I wonder why a mass one wasn't conducted with the families. My parents and I were toured around by a friendly malay sergeant while on the other hand, I think the recruits were toured, probably by some strict-assed sergeant. Darren and I randomly came up with some conclusions.

Description for 'family' tour's in blue and red for 'recruit' tour.

Families, this is the parade square where your loved ones will have their morning psychical training.

and on the other side...

Recruits! This is where you all get fucked first thing even before the sun rises!

Dear families, this is the dining area where your loved ones will be having their 3 to 4 meals a day.

and on the other side...

Young men! This is the dining area, the the only place where you won't really get fucked much, but it's also the third-last place you'll be thinking about for the next 13 weeks!

This is our longue, got pool table, TV, radio, boardgames and comfortable sofas but it's not part of your children's everyday army life. It is a privilege for them when the section have performed for the day.

and somewhere else but still in the camp...

Hello people! This is longue the government have built for you all. You all can come here and lepak every night, my FOOT! You all better perform well else this will be the second-last place you all will be thinking about.

Lastly, this is where your loved ones will be sleeping at for the next 13 weeks. Spacious, got their own lockers, got fan, own mosquito nets and comfortable spring cushion beds. (I don't know why, but after the guy mentioned that, most fathers including mine started pressing and bouncing off the beds, like they doubted the sergeant or something. And one thing that I don't deny is that the bunks are way better off than any chalet. Very airy and doesn't stink like a regular one.)

and at the same time, on the other hand...

Gentleman! This is your bunk, supposedly for sleep. BUT FOR THE NEXT THIRTEEN WEEKS, SLEEP WILL BE THE LAST FUCKING THING YOU'LL BE THINKING ABOUT!

Another nice one by Darren was "Gentleman, they say when you die you go to heaven, UNTILL THEN, WELCOME TO HELL!"

Well, the above were just what our creavity juices have caused, I don't think army's that bad. I guess it is comparatively better than the olden days.

We watched the recruits swore their oath of allegiance to the country and later sung the National Anthem. I sang along. I could remember the last time was when I was secondary 4? Where Jimmy Koh (My discipline master who doesn't know how to read his S-es properly. He'll go "Boy, keepss your plate,") will do time-consuming drills to actually make us open our mouths and sing the Anthem.

We proceeded to the dinner area to reunite with my brother and had dinner together. That was supposedly the best meal in the 13 weeks or worse, for the entire serving term in the army camp. The meal was decent, like any other average mixed-rice-vege stalls. It consisted of plain rice, char-siew chicken, one piece of rubber-like tofu, taiwan sausage, some veggies, white raddish soup (I think) and grass jelly dessert. I have to say the veggies really sucks, it's inevitable though, because it's the hardest to maintain and fades to dull yellow rather quick. My brother is quite particular on the state of what he's eating and is quite picky too. Hope he'll adapt to the food quick. Oh yes by the way, as predicted, my brother told me the commander was quite vulgar.

We bade him farewell and left for the mainland and I knew it is my turn to step into tekong again, near future.

Later on was guys'-night-out session with Chia. Thanks for the root beer-float and your time.

I Think the Heavens Playing with Us

2006-09-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

Friday, as usual was sports day. Just as I alighted from the bus, the clouds darkend and started shifting fast, just like any evil-aura scenes in movies like Van Helsing or Blade Trinity. It drizzled and I wrapped my towel around my head like some Arabian before heading towards the court. The club people were seeking shelter around the toilet area and other hardcore ones were still on the court. Having came quite a long way (Punggol to NYP), I joined the others in wetting themselves on the court, altough it sounds so wrong.

The rain stopped and I started drying the half the court with the sponge roller. I played a few horrible games, probably people around be got better or maybe I became lousy. It wasn't long before it drizzled again. It stopped after a while and we dried the court once again AND IT BLOODY HELL RAINED again. It's damn irritating man, like some a kid tipping over his drink and after you cleaned that shit up, he repeats that stupid move.

Felt !#%$asdgrdfsgf!$ to see you in pain and there's nothing I can do. Ah well, guess it's me? Don't think you'll see this but still, do take care girl, and get well.

I had yee mian for dinner and I'm still hungry now. My dear brother is going to be taken away by the people in green tomorrow and then made green. I'll miss popping into his room randomly to talk cock, watch him play the games that I don't play. Can see him with really short hair two weeks later. HAHA!

Don't you just feel like Stealing from NTUC sometimes?

2006-09-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

Just a random thought, I think sleeping excessively does damage your brain and causes retardation. My bank book stated that I withdrew 80 bucks yesterday but I only recalled withdrawing $50 and topping up my ez-link card by $10. Where did my $20 go sia?! DBS pocketed my money is it? If you guys did PLEEEEASE return it to me okay. I visited a fortune-teller at the mall opposite my place yesterday and he fortold that I'm going broke in days just based on one day's spendings! Simply amazing right?!

That's rubbish anyway, obvious right, heh.

I had a really late brunch today, say 5pm? I went to the NTUC nearby and grabbed a Totino's CrispCrust.

This was when the title came in. I'm just buying a box of frozened pizza costing $5.95 but have to wait for donkey years because every queue was 4-D long and everyone except me seemed to be stocking up for a month. Machiam war's coming and NTUC was rationing. Imagine me running off and later getting caught, trying to convince the security my purpose of shoplifting wasn't for cheap thrill's sake, wasn't because I've got no cash but just because I've got no patience for those bloody long queues. Eventually, I think I'll still get thrown behind the bars or might be referred to Buangkok Green Medical Park which was formerly known as the Institute of Mental Health. Anyway what's up with beautifying the name man? Foreigners might just go there when they fall ill.

Sorry for the sidetrack and back to topic, I was just trying to voice out that Punggol Plaza's NTUC need an express counter, that's all.

Pizza in the baking. I was taking chances of having a horrible brunch. The packaging stated that it is not recommended for microwave ovens. I thought otherwise, "Not recommended, maybe just not so nice or crispy lor. Should be won't explode la."

I grilled it for awhile, switched over to microwaving it, repeated the process several times and this is what I've got.

Edible, not say heavenly nice. Would have been better if I stir fry the bottom on a pan with some butter but was too hungry to to do so. What to do? I no money to buy baking oven mah.

This picture is specially blown up for my buddies Jia Lin and Xiaowei. JUST LOOK AT THE MELTED CHEESE, STREAMING DOWN ONTO THE PLATE, THE COUNTLESS CHUNKS OF LEAN BACON. Are you tempted?!

MessOrgy @ Esplanade Viewing Rooftop! $8 presale and $12 at-the-door. Grab your tickets now!

2006-09-04T03:05:00.000+08:00

I've been sleeping away my days since the end of exams. Thanks to my extremely screwed body clock, so screwed that I think only flying off to Germany could repair it. I rotted away Saturday and half of Sunday. Just now, I went Esplanade with Darren and his girl. Call me a lampost or whatever but we are good bros so it isn't weird at all. Of course I'll prefer a double date, but let time allow that.

We went up to the rooftop and was quite surprised to find it heavily polluted with noise. There were quite a few groups sitting around in circles and doing their bloody-noisy activies. Back then when I went up to chill after my studying sessions for O's, it was all quiet and peaceful. Now, it's worse than a wet market because you hear all sorts of sounds like people (yes, guys included) screeching like they were ass-raped 8923894732 times. So what were they doing? I've got no clue really, but saw those people clapping their hands and suddenly, someone just stood up, jerked his body violently, threw his head backwards, exactly like someone suffering from severe spasm. The clapping then stops, the people laughed like Esplanade belong to their grandpas and after that, EVERTHING REPEATS. Looks similar to occult worship though they were just playing those crappy orientation games in the most spastic manner. Darren and I were like wtf man? They aren't young, probably 18 for the youngest and mid-20s for the oldest. Darren was telling me that he'll get the two cops on patrol to shoot 12 (sine they have 6 rounds each) of them and baton the rest to death for threatening Singapore's economy. Why so? There were many foreigners around and I remembered seeing this well-dressed Caucasian man staring at the bunch of idiots as if he had seen a ghost. If he's some rich businessman, I don't think he sees any hope investing in Singapore. I mean, you wouldn't want a workforce behaving as though their IQ levels are as high as the number of their shoe sizes right? And that's exactly what they were portraying. Actually to be honest I don't really give a shit yet, it was just them robbing me of my peacefulness. Let me just stop here else it'll just go on and on.

After Darren's girl went home, we met Magesh and went to pot a few balls at Pool Junction. We makan-ed at the Indian-Mama (I think it simply means Indian-Uncle literally but that's what some people call those Indian Muslim foodstalls) and realized we overshot the last bus timing. Darren cabbed home first leaving Magesh and me. We decided to WALK home from Dhoby Ghaut. Ermmmm, nope. Let me rephrase and get things right. We decided to walk to Boon Keng (Magesh's place), where I'll then cab home. Dhoby Ghaut to Punggol, SIAO AR?! Anyway I heard Xiaowei walked from there to Serangoon, ON HEELS. You've got ma respect yo.

So along the way, I snapped a few shots out of boredom.

This was outside Mustafa Shopping Centre (yeah, however you spell it.) It was terribly littered, probably worse than Orchard Road after Christmas or New Year. Was it Deepavali or something?

Let's take a closer look. They are fliers, ranging from those on cheap calls to India to some @!#!@$# brand video cameras. How the hell did it end up like this? It just looked as if some man was hired to toss stacks and stacks of these fliers into the air like some chinese priest performing his rituals. "Amitabah!" *toss fliers* "Bless the potential sweepers with job opportunities." ;)

Conclusion should be short and sweet. What I can say is that the cleanest damn place around that area were the dustbins. They were almost empty.

The Fugly Truth

2006-09-01T14:44:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, I'm back once again. Exams are over, rejoice. Not that I'll be able to slack again, but just that I'm able to slack without guilt. Two days ago I was at Theodore's making fishes for the club seniors as a farewell present.

Yesterday was AGM. I think it was a disappointment, really great one. Some derserve their post for their ability to lead and some deserve it for their hardwork. Felt kind of sad for several people that they were not given a post in excos, some deserve a better place in exco and some simply don't deserve it if you want to do a side by side comparison. It'll be ugly but see... And by the way, I'm casting aside all personal disputes in saying this. There actually are people whom I don't like personally but I think deserve a post in the excos.

An Example

This graph illustrate the ratings of 2 people. And I'll say sadly B got the post instead of A probably because his/her yellow bar is up to the heavens. To think about it again, maybe it just shows how you need to sell yourself? I guess that's what all advertisements are all about. See why a pair of Nike soccer boots cost much more than a pair of Umbro soccer boots where the Umbro is of better quality? Branding. That's the fugly truth.

One of the seniors told me something which I quite agree with. He talked about there's no team of elites and you just need some of the weak to balance off. Nothing's perfect to cut the long story short.

All in all, I'm grateful I've made friends in the process. I hope we all still keep in touch although we don't get to work together much in the future. I don't regret that I've put in my best for the club during the few months' stay. Some may not think so probably because I play my rules at times but I only need myself to know. I thank all those who have entered my heart and left trails of foot prints although we might not be talking much or at all these days. All the close friends I've made in the process, you all each are a blessing to me. You all make a difference in my life in one way or another.

To close this entry...

So have you sucked up today?

Or have you stayed true to yourself?

You know.

So what the Hell are they doing with Twenty-four hours and Forty-five minutes to go?

2006-08-27T15:47:00.000+08:00

Anyway, there's just a little more than one day to my Internet Programming exam and come on, let check out the status and progress of my friends.

Po: In FLYFF an online game.

Jia Lin: Another one playing FLYFF.

Jin Xian: Probably playing WOW, another online game.

Stephanie: Standard, studying.

Me: Head-banging to turbulent drumming of rock, screamo and metal, trying to forget his sad past. HAHA HAHA. Blogging.

Eza: Claimed she went to study.

Not-SIT-Kenny: Whining as he haven't studied.

Sailesh: Studying if copying tutorial notes is a form of studying. Oh, he just admitted he was copying blindly and "now i'm too damn lazy to memorise the crap." Sailesh, well said.

Hidayat: Rockin' with his beloved guitar.

Fawze: Watching wrestling videos and Mick Foley talking cock.

Rachel: Talking to Dharma about what to get him for his birthday.

Fir: Glued to his PS2.

Oh our Father in heaven, bless these kids for their exams tomorrow. Give them clarity and peace of mind. Amen.

I shall conclude, out of 12 MIT students, only 3 appeared to be studying with slightly more than 24 hours to their exam.

Now, who says Swings are Dangerous?

2006-08-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I met up with my friend, who only want to be known as BY as he was the one who bluffed me into walking to Sengkang when he was sleeping. Anyway, that guy's a standard-late-king who never learns. Since ermmm, when I was secondary 3? And he was in J1. He was only early once so far. I found no way that could make him be on time, except to lie. BUT GUESS WHAT?! I lie to him, plan also kena foiled. My house is just one bustop to his and so when just left house, I rang and told him I've reached. Still, he reached fifteen minutes after I did. Oh well, at least I managed to shorten then waiting time.

We played a little basketball with some army guys and won thanks to this random sharp shooter guy in our team that took shots in the most relaxed manner. He shots floats the ball in a low-gravity way and finds it way through the rim. Wah lao eh, imbal leh. People only jump with hang-time. He can apply hang-time on the ball! The opponents are relatively good and accurate. All so macho that I had quite a struggle cutting my way to find the basketball. But of course, their macho-ness doesn't beat the 'superman' at our home court.

After the game was chilling out at the playground which I last went when it was my 'O' levels. They revamped the whole place and removed the swing! HOW CAN?! They robbed me of my precious childhood. I guess they thought it was too dangerous which is purely horse shit. Anyway, the new playstuffs installed are pretty dumb. There's this standing-see-saw-thing that I think is much more dangerous than being catapulted out of the swing. It left me with a skinned bump on my shin.

This was roughly how the accident occured. The see-saw has got this kind of thin bar for you to stand on and there's rails at the side for you hold. My friend jumped on his side for no fucking reason. At the moment he took off, there's no weight on his side and so my side suddenly went down and and I slipped. When he landed on his bar again (It was so fast that I was still hanging in mid air, above the bar), my side jerked up and struck my shin. The pain when through my skin, into the nerves and finally reaching the core of the bone. IDIOT lah! My friend 80+ kg still go do this kind of funny stunts. Now, who says swings are dangerous? This weird see-saw thing are played by kids and definitely they'll try stunts which are funnier than what my friend did(which was already very retarded). Man.. I seriously rather get flung out of the swing (which happened before once with no injuries) than to get struck by the bar in the shin.

Up next was some guys' talk about ladies, how much we missed secondary school, life now and life in the near future and finally home.

Clean Sheet isn't Good in all Context

2006-08-26T17:09:00.000+08:00

The title is the word that roughly explains how my mathematics exam was. The geeks, like kian kuan study the whole book. The smarter ones, study the ten questions spotted by the lecturer. Smart Jacks like me even better; respotted five out of ten questions to study. So unfortunately, only 2.5 questions of the five I studied appeared, twisted some more. Once again, I do hope moderation works wonders.

Disgruntled Jack in "Why It Truly Sucks to be a Senior"

2006-08-24T08:46:00.000+08:00

Hello, this is me again. Check out the penned time, it's 8.46 am, probably impossible that I'll be awake here blogging but let me tell you, A) It truly is 8.46 AM and I did NOT edited ANY part of the time, B) It's really me speaking here, I promise, C) Dear fellows that really know me must be wondering, "Wah, since when that Yit Jing wake up so bloody early? He that kind 9 am lesson, 9 am wake up or even can oversleep one lor. Then now holiday, he 12 pm wake up counted early already lah." Yes, so why the fuck am I awake? Let him tell his story...

oh yes, once again, blue is me and red is the other party, who will be referred to as "Mr Cheng" to protect his privacy.

8.19 am:
The grass are green and the skies are blue, the seemingly endless green pasture spreads to the horizon, where you see elements of peace like butterflies fluttering among the flowers, love birds chirping while making love and the harmless aunty sweeping the fallen leaves - A perfect environment and time for a guy called Yit Jing to be in deep sleep.

My phone usually doesn't go off at this time, but today, it decided to be different.
Sony K7100i: *vvvibrateee* *vvvibrateee* *vvvibrateee* and bloody *vvvibrateee*

I usually can ignore calls but this series of vibrations sounded desperate and damn hell annoying.

A disgrutled me answered and spoke in my most ah beng tone.
Me: Ah, Arlow.

An unfamiliar voice replied me.
Owner of unknown number: Hello Yit Jing, I'm Mr Cheng .

And here, I was suspecting it was some tele-marketer, ready to F him up anytime.
Me: ehhh ooooookay?

Mr Cheng: So will you be in school today or on friday?

The mention of 'school' narrowed down the number of 'Mr Chengs' I know and so it was my one of my freshmen.

I was pissed, but tried hard to keep my cool.
Me: Today no, probably friday. Why?

He anyhow hantam-ed a a set of numbers to me and expected me to know what module it was. Come on lah, I don't even remember the module code of modules I'm taking currently.
Mr Cheng: Do you know the module IT18** (Pardon me, didn't bother to or couldn't catch the last 2 digits. I suck at numbers, you should know.)

It's like me asking you "Aye friend, what is the 1800-221-4444 hotline huh?" Who the hell will know where it goes to? Oh, by the way that's the Samaritans of Singapore, a 24-hour depression hotline; Where you can give a ring to when someone wakes you up early in the morning and got you bloody depressed.

Obviously, I didn't sound very pleased.
Me: You give me one code how I know?

See, he knew it.
Mr Cheng: It's the module IAD, Internet Application Development.

Me: ...

Mr Cheng: You have the common test papers for that module? Can lend?

Anyway, it's BORROW lah! You borrow from me and if I agree, means I'm lending you.

I couldn't remember anything about past modules and even if I had it, it probably have been recycled for several times.
Me: errr... I don't think there was a practice of sample common test papers being handed out.

He pushes his luck.
Mr Cheng: Ours from common test change to exam already, teacher say only seniors have sample questions.

by the way, WHAT THE HECK is the lecturer doing? You aren't called that for nothing. You get the full pay, you jolly well do the full job instead of telling them to get revision stuffs from seniors. I can tell you more than 95% of them have their past papers suffering the same fate as mine.

I insisted on not having the common test paper.
Me: Don't have it.

But he ignored my climate and pushed his luck even further.
Mr Cheng: You know what kind of questions will come out?

I anyhow hantam-ed back.
Me: HTML lor, aiiiiiiiiiyaa... the rest the basically common sense lar.

Mr Cheng: arrrrrr.. okay.

Of all, this was my FAVOURITE.
Me: *CLICK*

Well, I didn't mean to a bitch but people should know they shouldn't wake me up at wrong times. I don't know why, but even my buddies who came over to ton held a meeting to draw lots - to come up with an unlucky one to wake me up. Other than that, I'm nice. heh.

Wah, knn. Now tired, but cannot fall back asleep. Head groggy, can't study. Fail whose fault?

2006-08-22T03:16:00.000+08:00

1. What is the best nickname you ever had?
JING JING by my ogl-mates. ohhh wth!

2. Which way of suicide would you choose? none
i love myself too much to die an artificial death.

3. Rate your social life from 1 to 10.
8 but can fall below 5 once in a while.

4. Are you in love with someone at the moment?
in? out? clueless.

5. Are you missing someone at the moment?
i think so.

6. Will you die for the one you love?
must see worthwhile or not. it's super sweet and damn dumb to die for someone who gives no shit about you.

7. Do you think love hurts?
most of the time for me so far.

8. What is the best thing about love?
the you-look-at-me, i-look-at-you and we both gotit ;)

9. What is the worst thing about love?
right person, wrong time causing everything to be wrong eventually.

10. Will you wait for someone you love?
once again, must see whether it is worthwhile or not. the law of diminishing returns, heard of?

11. What song best describes your love life at the moment? no idea
thoughts before me by amber pacific and one more moment by ronin.

12. Do you wanna get married?
i love kids but still, maybe.

13. Have you talked to the person you love for the past 24 hours?
no.

14. Do you keep memories?yes. both beautiful and bad ones.
alot of them, both emotionally and physically.

15. Is love always on your side or the opposite?
opposite most of the time.

16. Are you sick of love?
i guess confused's a better word.

17. Are you sick of the the question of love?
either my english or this sentence's structure sucks.

18. What are you going to do tomorrow?
study maths.

19. What do you want so badly now?
to get over and done with the exams.

20. What's the song that you last downloaded?
later i get fined how?

21. How much do you love music?
my refuge.

22. Do you play an instrument?
back in sa, i tap and bang the tables with my best buds to make music. counted?

23. What movie did you last watch?
i can't remember.

24. Do you believe in love forever?
i believe there's no eternal love and hate.

25. What's in your mind now?
many whys, whats and whether i'm going to make it through for the modules in this semester.

26. What song is in your mind now?
playing for keeps by matchbook romance.

27. Five people to do this
do this when you are bored. do this at your own will.

Deal, Lau Pa Sat

2006-08-22T02:11:00.000+08:00

I studied 3/4 chapter of computing maths today finally. Supposed to be the whole chapter but the last quarter seem to have some fault in the example answer. It says 3! / 2! = 6 and I caught no balls at all! supposed to be 3! / 2! = 6 / 2 = 3 what! AH WHATEVER.

My friend called me up for a chilling session tonight and guess why I'm here? Before I left, I called him and he told me to call him again when I was halfway there. I walked all the way to Sengkang and called him a million times but he didn't picked up. I thought that bugger must have fell asleep and so walked back home. Punggol and Sengkang quite far to walk lor! The route's so ulu and it's the 'wrong' time somemore. Bump into funny things how?! hahahhaha. Not wanting it to be a wasted trip, I headed down to the Cheers opposite my place and bought myself laksa and a can of san miguel.

SEE!? The 'tau pok' (some sort of beancurd if you don't know) is streaming with laksa gravy as I squeeze it with my chopsticks. It doesn't beat Jalan Berseh's at any point but it's good enough for instant food in the middle of the night.

After finishing my food, my friend called and told me he just woke up. IDIOT YOU KNOW! But all well, forgiven since he seemed really apologetic and offered to treat me supper next time. Maybe I'll whack some place like lau pa sat. WOOT!

Love Happens Junk

2006-08-21T03:03:00.000+08:00

As usual, I was clearing my junkmails (YES, THOSE THAT TELL YOU THAT YOU'LL HAVE BAD LUCK IN LOVE LIFE FOR NEXT DON'T-KNOW-HOW-MANY-DONKEY-YEARS IF YOU DON'T FORWARD IT TO DON'T-KNOW-HOW-MANY PEOPLE. I pay zero attention to such, maybe that's why I'm still single, HAHA and well, let me tell you if you don't copy this entry and post it on your blog within 5minutes and 20seconds after reading it, you'll wake up the following day finding yourself mutated with your ass on your head for life.)

Sorry, I got to carried away. back to topic, I was clearing the usual junk before going to bed and saw an email from lovehappens (some online matchmaking horse shit i guess.) Of course I didn't sign up for that. some friend of mine used my email for that, probably to evade these junkmails. I went to unsuscribe it and after the procedure, a pop up appeared showing me somebody's profile with a picture. At the top, it questions whether I'm interested to know the person and have the options 'yes', 'maybe' and 'no'. And everytime you click 'no', they show the next random profile. I went through a few interesting profiles and here they go...

(names are edited to protect the privacy of whatsoever, those in italics are my quips, heh.)

Who they're looking for

Samantha, 51, Singapore
An honest, hardworking, caring, compassionate, responsible, reliable, generous, peace loving and patient, understanding and supportive. Can be a real good friend to both me and my son; and we can progress and further development. I hope to find someone to grow old with.
Not bad! so IT-savvy. My mum's around this age still have problem finding the switch to the computer. xiaowei commented that maybe her son helped her in the signing up. HAHA. Well, I'll say good luck in finding your next partner.

Linda, 38, Singapore
Looking for someone who is adventurous, down-to-earth, sincere, spontaneous, and cracks me up. He should be able to stimulate me intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and sexually. It's not a pre-requsite that he shares my interest cos we can learn new things from each other. Someone who makes me feel comfortable and knows how to treat a woman right.
I think this lady needs a full-house combination of Einstein, Shakespeare, Confucious, Dr Hitch and Vatsyayana (the man behind Kamasutra). Besides that, I like the part about learning new things from each other.

Ah Lian, 27, Singapore
hIm? heR? eU? deY? tAt peRsOn? diZ peRsoN? hE? sHe? tAt gUy? tAt geR? sUmtHinK taT seeMs siMpLe bUt yet shO dIffiCulT.......juZ puRely sUm1 hU cAn aCcePt mE 4 wHo n wHaT I am.....
Sorry, I can't accept that you are tyPiNg lyDdiZ and HELLOOO, you're 27 and you still type like that?! I thought only little pWiNceSs mui-muis do that. Change that bad habit, type legibly and be understood. I'm sure more guys would want to know you.

Canice, 29, Singapore
decent, open-minded, humourous/jokes, faithful, professional in his work, good career foundation, clean and neat, hygienic, gentleman-like, patient, sporty, animal lover, healthy-life style, Cooks, romantic, responsible, intelligent, independent, sensible, matured, optimistic, supportive, appreciate nature, fillial to parents, still a virgin LOL, hunky for looks.
To compare these requirements with computer specs, she wants a PC with 5.8Ghz TRIPLE-core processors, 2GB ATI Radeon graphics card, 500TB harddisk, 5GB memory, 42 inch plasma monitor, sleek CPU casing with sound activated neon, bose surround system all heavy duty with life-time warranty. Where to find such deal man... hmmm.. okay deal, i'm still virgin here, want my offer?! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!