when the wind blow and i'm not around it would be me.

today i went this chi dessert shop which isn't opened yet to apply for job and guess what? i had to start working immediately. the job today was quite one leg kicking. do cleaning and everything else. the shop is still damn messy and anyone would have tought its not very possible to open tomorrow. hope it does man. tomorrow will be a damn long day.

basketball today was so so cos i was whacked left, right and centre during the game with some sji guys. the sec4 stc girl in my team's a good shooter and the two twins are so cute! haha. they stick together in the game and everywhere including the streets. they are puny but good players for their size. i think this sherman guy i knew is funny. when he defends during basketball, his actions are so damn funny! he will shift about with exaggerated movements, maybe cos he's from judo. i pivoted a few steps and he dance around to guard me and even when i stopped, he's still jumping around. his energy level is infinite. played pool at pool junction with sol and aaron. aaron is very very funny doing his gayish stuff and micmicking loong's laughter. anyway i saw one of the gay-est thing today. i saw this maxim magazine with a skimpily dressed girl on the cover page and there's some sort of fluid on the cover. i was like, 'what the fark? that desperate?' anyway screw it, its sick.

anyway some gal friend of mine labelled guys this...

people who have minds that are controlled by thier dick.

true? false? speak up for yourself.

i had one of my worst nightmare today.

maybe, it doesn't need a reason.

my blog is collecting dust and i'm now brushing them away.

this week is like partying week? only monday and wednesday i slacked and slept huge time at home. tuesday i went to watch blade trinity. its action-packed trust me and of course i loved it. we went prata after that. thursday was kite flying day! while we waited for wind, we played some rugby like game and solikin and imelda totally bullied me and jasmine. kite flying was so frigging fun! and definitely for the kite too, as it wasn't flown for four to five years. its a small triangle mickey mouse kite but it could fly very high! we finished the first reel and joined it to the second. sadly solikin's two-metre wingspan eagle couldn't fly much. it went up and came down dramatically, like how a bird is being shot down. imeldie and jasmine's paper kite was worse! i kept turning circles that even the guru couldn't control it. after kite flying we went steamboat but well, its quite yummy but not a place to chill and slack. it looks like those 24 outlets at kowloon where a fight may break out at any time. friday was siloso beach! i love the sand. so long never touch the sand already and i'm having sand fetish! keep rollin around it like muah chee. we bought the sandcastle set and built sandcastle. so fun can, alright alright. i sound like a kid deprived of childhood. i like the macho guy who played beach basketball with us, he's a hell of a three-point shooter. it poured after that and i brian's church bbq at west coast park totaly wet. that was quite cool, no need to peng kang cos some nice pastor is doing it for us. i made alot of new friends too. somehow there wasn't any bus service left and i stayed over at brian's house. on saturaday i went home early in the morning and sleep till two in the noon. guess what? brian called me and told he his brother's birthday party is held today. so happening right? and i went down to celebrate with all his friends. this week is so happening that i think i shall stay home tomorrow.

i felt you.
but you wasn't there.
anymore.

job interview at fullerton today was so MALU! don't ask me why okay? don't ask!!

anyway i remembered that i played basketball with the national under-18 pointguard. he's godly. really.

i went around eight hotels to look for stewarding job. not much luck. hope raffles hotel and fullerton will take me in.

by the way chun, i'm shy okay. believe me. LOL

we took a cab to ox's house to chill and carry out rem's nup's farewell party, we played bluff, drank and xbox-ed. we blasted techno, danced and kbox-ed. so fun! chun thought that only gals kbox but heh, there's alot of things you don't know about guys =P. we played so much and finally its time to go. we sang our nuppies' trademark song, peng you (friends) and puff daddy's i'll be missing you. the last event, we poured a full cup of liquor and passed it around and everyone is to say a memorable quote to rem after drinking. after that, we all went out to have supper and i cabbed home with loong.

rem, the big brother of the nups. we all will always remember you.
remember all the days we had in school. the multi-storey carpark case, created by ox.
your birthday. the days we hung out together. the days we really had fun. the days we encouraged each other when we had our own set backs.
we'll see you off sunday 12am.

im stupid, my mouth is dumb, say wrong things, make her angry.

sincere apologies. really didn't mean it.

sorry.

yesterday was an eye opener for me. i went to watch nike fearless 5 basketball at taka with loong. weilong is my hero man. his passes are godly. and the eye opener for me happened when the time was down to almost zero seconds. weilong windmilled the ball in. perfect hangtime.

i met darren, kaiyu and winsur after that. we played truth and dare. everything came out, be it relationship stuffs, sick stuffs. dare was quite fun. loong bastard me. make me ask for girl's number but i asked for time instead. shhhhh. the other one was calling a girl to say 'i love you', simple as a b c. kaiyu was made to ask where's esplanade at esplanade. LOL.

holidays is bored. keep going out oso bored. i prefer sneaking out while exams are still on. so weird right? hahaha. i told my mum and she said life's like that. see, men dun go for prostitutes when they are single. only after when they are married, they do that. the human mind works so complicatedly.

remembered this funny thing. yesterday i was at dhoby gaut station's zone-x arcade watching people play soul calibre. this guy was crazy, totally into the game. he lost like 10 tokens to the opposite guy and was still trying. when others in the queue tried to tap to be next, he'll ask them to scram. he bangs the console everytime he loses the round (yea, he kept banging you know what i mean). he's a damn sore loser, he swears and look over to flash his foul middle finger when he loses. i guess partially, it was my fault. cos i can't help laughing and smiling looking at his expression. if he tried that hard academically, he'll be an asean scholar.

. eight letters . three words . two persons . one meaning .

now, O's are over. i feel, bored. like there's nothing much to do. ironic eh? but good thing, i can slack and sleep late. i'm looking for a job. i applied for singtel roadshow and hope they'll take me. or maybe, i'll go do some volunteer job. i'll starting planning my holiday to make sure i won't be bored.

last night was graduation dinner. i sat with 4 other classmates and 6 other seniors from 5N. luckily there was leonard the joker at our table. he's full of his own shit, telling jokes and playing open number within the table. the loser eats the pickles after everyone finishes the dish. i was so lucky and become the winner of open number. awarded with all those lemon slices with skin, urgh, damn sour. good job matthew, you suaned desmond soh on stage, i take off my hat to you. overall it was a solid night although the course dinner was extremely budget. everything good comes to an end, we sang the school song and it was time to go. took loads of photos and some crazy classmate even posed a blowjob shot. you guys will cry if the picture goes to the press. hah, don't say i didn't warn you all.

after that i headed town with kenneth, eugene, max, man hon and gabriel. it was quite sad that eugene had to leave early. hope his mum will soon give him more freedom. it was freaking funny at far east. eugene saw this man digging in the bin (probably for drink cans) and he thought he was one of us. he scream "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" and that man jumped and nearly fell into the bin. LOL, it was very malu. luckily the man didn't punch him.

we played pool and k-pool and after that walk about till morning where we ended at lau pa sat. we had breakfast and headed home. i greeted my dad good morning when i ended my house! nice solid sleep from 8am to 6pm.

accounts paper was a potential 9. now it came true.

i celebrated the end of third last paper by eating at marche with magesh. went the esplanade library to read magazines and nearly doze off at the cosy couch.

(one starry night, looking up to the sky)

see these stars?
it never leaves you.
it's a symbol of my care.
a promise that i'll never forget you.

sweet. ain't it? alright, off to bomb my next paper.

i guess for now, i'll cling on.
i don't mind falling off again.

hari raya pussa to all my mat friends!

i found jalan berseh's traditional laksa today! rocks totally and mentioning it now makes my stomach growl. whole afternoon was wasted sleeping.

i went slacking with BY and ended up playing at the swing at rivervale crescent. it was super thrilling cos BY helped pushed me and the sit was so small that i was struggling to stay on it. cheap thrill yea?

we walked to punggol park to look for bigger swings although it was 11 plus. it was the first time i explored that place and it was not bad. quite well lit and there's a cafe which was packed even at that time. we walked on a chanced upon this man lying on the track. a fainted jogger. one ah pek told us his friend went out and called for ambulance. i checked him for breathing and fortunately he was still breathing. then, he showed signs of fits. tough one holding his jaws apart to keep him from biting his tongue real hard. thanks to singapore's healthcare system the SCDF people arrived briskly.

okay, so my job is done. time to go home. hope he's fine alrite. God bless you, jogger.

i attempted the tys for combined chemistry and physics mcq and realized i can't really do the chemistry mcqs? damned. nevermind, at least today's studying out is quite productive but as usual alot of non-academic discussions. i saw this funny nigga at cityhall citylink. his hair looked like wool. twenty-second, that's nine days. nine days to end of exams. i'm feeling quite sad and irritated to hear that that guy dissappeared from her. grr.

we don't know how to treasure someone who is there physically.
and yet treasure the one whom abandon us.

O's are crap. some papers gave me a feeling i'm gonna retake them again next year but screw it anyway. fark it. hearing people discussing answers is bad. hearing people discussing different answers is worse. hearing people discussing different answers and your not matching any of them sucks. but screw it anyway.

so now is the 8 or 9 days break in between the papers. fortunately, the rest of the paper aint that bad. yesterday was so slack. i met darren after the papers and we played basketball? lol. dun be surprised, too bad that we are slackers. anyway his mum said i'm a very polite boy judging from the way i communicate on phone. okay, laugh about it now.

enough of laughing?

okay continue. we went up to his house after playing bball and he let me sniff his johny walker and a sip of jim beam. lol. nicee but i'm no alcoholic okay. we went town after that and ate 2 mos burgers followed by the beijing dim sum restuarant where we each had ten xiao long bao. that's heaven. darren is a joker, he burst the perfumed towel's packaging with a loud pop to draw attention and ask the waiter for a refill.

to imelda: xiao long bao at paragon rocks! hope you can read this now. muahahahhaa.

i've a wish for christmas.
that is there'll be no more sadness in the the world.
UNREALISTIC eh?

sunk into damnation. someone pull me up damn it.

sometimes, life is like...

finishing a damn marathon race to find out are disqualified?

(warning: this material may contain offensive language. rated M-18 under yit jing's censorship, so screw it.)

somtimes, you realise how unfair life is.

how the bridge is not laid in your path.

how the bridge snaps in front of you.

but in wadeva case, just fark it cos that is life.

a journey that is never always smooth.

think of how lucky you are now,

probably resting one hand on the keyboard,

the other on the mouse.

how much better you look than a mofo in your class,

being able to read THIS chunk off your monitor screen,

and later when you are thirsty,

being able to walk to your kitchen to get a drink.

sit back, don't sigh.

close your eyes,

take a deep breath.

enjoy the O-two you are taking in...

yJ.runaway-

-close-

today is tuesday, and next monday is the start of o levels. although she still pop out in my mind sometimes, i took wenxin's advice, 'just fuck it.' recently, i've been out studying. although i was distracted outside, but it was still better than home cos at home it's even worse. like now, i'm on my comp again. esplanade library rocks totally. its like a club? yea. a cafe, dancing section, music room where this bitch played horrible violin, great variety of audio cds, cd players and headphones, nice comfy couches and cushioned armchairs. yea, and not to forget, mini-theatres. the studying space there is like a bar. high stools and benchs, just lacked john walker and discoball. darren was super not shy yesterday, esplanade library had became like our house. He played a cd, left the headphone on the table and tuned it to a high volume so both of us could hear the music. i grade esplanade library a 9. the 1 deducted was cos a bitch woke me up when i was sleeping and the food there is costly. we saw the restuarant, 'space - my humble house' or something like that and think it wasn't really humble. the environment there is very future, like in some huge spaceship. of course i didn't enter. darren and me will start saving and we'll go there for a meal after the o's. we then left for thomson prata and chit chatted till 10 plus before i headed home.

esplanade library is my new hangout!

and yes, i repeat, 'air guitaring is fooking gay, agrees with nic.'

i think this country is urgently in need of thoughtful people. i was boarding NEL train and when this pregnant lady got on, i was expecting this gentlemanly dressed man to give up his seat cos he was closest to the door. but that bastard didn't, he glanced at the lady and went back to his papers. if he could read this, "damn you, if you are not willing to give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you, burn your papers. no point having all the knowledge from it, you have no honour." okay, i shall chill. i gave up my seat to that pregnant lady and brought myself weird stares, i dunno why. i went for english lesson today and as usual, late. i think huang's lesson is getting more and more lively, not boring like what it was.

we played soccer in the basketball court after english lessons. its so fun, especially i didn't play soccer for ages and i was wearing jeans? i scored one against loy aka van der sar and the rest went over the crossbar. im turning beckham lol. it was fun, full of laughter and definitely brought up my sucky mood by a little. another thing that lit up my day a little more was being able to touch the basketball ring with my fingers. soon i'm gonna pull the ring!

anyway i'm having a bad stomach. no more tom yam and raw eggs for tomorrow okay. my mum thought i was attempting suicide. i relieved myself at punggol plaza's toilet and heard the songs, air supply - all by myself and seven lonely days make a lonely week by dunno who. nice songs.

seven lonely days make a lonely week.
fifty-two lonely weeks make a lonely year.

times and again it happened to me..standing in my own quiet corner, using eye power and not fighting for what i wanted. should this be yet another time? i dunno.

i walked you home, and i thought of alot of things to say but for some reason, they just didn't come out of my lips.

i'm feeling awkward, maybe cos you are so close and yet so far from me...

i said i was fine in front of her.

i'm actually not. i seem to be so cool, but actually just putting up a brave front. i quite regret that last night, i just told you that i had a crush on you which grown into something more. actually, just three words, i love you. i also regretted saying that i was not trying to get anything from you, although i know that it was quite hopless already. why do i always wanna show that i'm a strong person?

today i went school for lesson. carol yap knew that i was facing something unpleasant and gave me some lolly pops to cheer me up. her lesson was quite fun, we crapped alot. after chemistry lesson, i jus tagged some of the classmates to play pool. i sucked, i was totally off, bothered in the mind. i was quite pissed that the sushi buffet deal was cancelled because i need a huge feast, to feast away all my sorrows. just now, i met bei yuan and we talked ant chilled out. sucks man, there was no bus and i walked like 3 or 4 km home, so tiring, reach home at 1am. next time i gonna make him come my area instead of me going his.

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.
i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you.

what can i do to make you mine?

hey felicia. I know its kinda late, but I got something to tell. It may not really be important to you but it is to me. Im sorry I hid it from you till now. I had a crush on you which now grown into something quite more. I'm not saying this to try and get anything from you, but I just want you to know hw I feel. Good luck with ur eyecandy alritee. ((:

this is what i told her. definitely relieved myself although YES, it hurts. she apologized and said she was speechless. although i admit that i'm not pleased at all, moody, fooked up but what i said is like dropping a huge rock somehow. guess i would be able to study and focus slightly more since now i've got nothing to worry for, no one to jio.

i dun dare to say that i love you more than the marist, cos there's nothing to measure. but after listening to loy's inspiration story and after a little thinking, this is for you. i love you, i love you and i love you again. i hope our friendship bond will be stronger in the future. and last of all i'll always be there.

i shall stop this empty mushy crap which she probably wouldn't get to read. things to note.
-YIT JING, next time you like a girl, react fast, just whack.
-YIT JING, dun wait for things, run after them.
-YIT JING, dun so shy, be more confident.
-YIT JING, dun be afraid or indecisive. cos you are the man.

lastly, i wanna take a whole lot of people who encouraged me, gave me advice. gave me tissue. (I DUN CRY)

yt told me to just give a whack and jio her cos its part of growing up.

desmond and others told me to jia you and beat anyone that comes in the way, not literally.

the vp shared about never never never never never never never give up.

yesterday the principal walked into the hall during the mocks and told us wadeva, just never give up hope on yourself.

i really thank all these peopple. although for me, i felt that i've already lost half the battle but guess i would fight on, give a shot and so i won't have regrets since i've already tried.

last night i talked to my brother about my prob. and he could actually anticipate me. i just told him i'm sad and he just asked, boy-girl stuffs? he's damn cool la, after listening to my crap he just say, bro, go poly next time whole bunch you pick la. it just sound so xiao sa, which should be coming out from my mouth instead of his. anyway,i got back my report today, R5 29 (nutcase) R4 18 (surprisingly). same comments, saying i need to move away from distractions. but sadly, they are all around me. i guess moving away is just in the mind, so hope i can do it soon. anyway i was quiet sad when gordon goh talked to the class today. i'm already missing 4ST, the greatest class, with all kinds of special people. he told me that i'm smart, just that i'm still sleeping and i'll wake up. but its a matter of time that i wake. quite sad eh. tomorrow is farewell assembly, sad. i'm now feeling super warm for no apparent reason. sucks man. air con's 25 degree and its still so bloody warm despite the cups of water i drank. no more whacking of alcohol to fall alseep i guess.

i'm willing to take nine hundred and ninety-nine if you are willing to take one.
but... will you?

i'm just frustrated today. but firstly, wanna thank chunli who reminded me that i'm the gung ho kick butt jingy still. and i wanna salute loy who can steady steady secretly admiring this girl for four years without blurting out anything about his feelings to her.

a thousand steps away from you.
you take one.
i take nine hundred and ninety nine.
for you.

give a pat on my head.. a packet of sweets and tell me.. 'little boy.. it's alrite..'

toppled a cup of xo mixed last night, super clumsy yea? i got another and drank. it brought me to a deep sleep, just with a little thought of her before dozing off.

well of cos, was moody in school and slept through the chemistry mock cos i could only attempt a few of those questions. only for english, i really tried for the mock paper 2 and summary.

after recess, e maths mock papers again. kaiyu and i played a fool with mrs tilaka lai ping and that accordingly to her, earned kaiyu a very 'nice' testimonial from mr lam.

went meridien to play pool with classmates. 4ST rocks again. damn, gonna miss it soon.

today i felt better slightly.

a glimmer of hope and i will not fall

i'm uncute
i've no charm
i'm unattractive
i can just scram

friends told me she's just testing me about mentioning some other stranger school boy is cute.

yea, i can take what they say as reasonable. her birthday is coming soon. i was about to ask her wad flowers she likes.. then before i could, she told me that today, she saw him again and now she wants to ask for his number and asked me how to.

should i just scram?

*ponders*

damnnn.. 28 days to o's levels? i dunno how it gonna feel like. its so different, a month before psle, i was slacking away. for o's i'm also slacking too but i feel this unease while slacking. gathering notes only where some of my friends finish studying, and doing it the second time.. WTH, i better start now, rightaway.

WHITE CHICK!

friday, started pretty screwed. some mofo stick gum on a chair and it got sticked up my arse. i was stranded in an extremely stinky toilet using the sharp corners of my badge, trying to scrap off the mess off my pants. damnnnnnnn.. i'm gonna bust your ass, if i know who the heck you are. after school, actually wanna go sushi buffet but some how ended up watching white chick with brian, nic and avan. the nigs are cool! its super super funny!! dun mind watching again. WHITE CHICKS ROCKS.

i was deciding on ponning first 5 periods of school this morning but found no one to accompany me before entering school. luckily it drizzled and morning assembly was cancelled. i was already asleep early morning during jaya's lesson and she knocked me up to do report writing. after english i slept all the way till recess. the maths test was screwed today. yucks. and i got only 12/20 for the previous one on statistics. maths lesson was quite fun cos arthur's hp was confiscated and goh ai lim together with us made a joke out of it. the last 2 lessons were mong mong's. it was kinda surprising that my eyes were huge throughout. he gave come useful notes on answering sourced-based questions, what the cambridge markers want. finally something useful. auggy is super jacked, we high-lighted his cheeks while he was sleeping. after school i went des' house to rot while waiting for time to pass before we meet ron at hougang plaza. play halo and found it quite fun! but my comp just sucks too much to play. we made aaron wait 30mins and on reaching, we saw him staring at some bangla workers cementing the ground. he seemed totally into it which made des and me burst into laughter. we played pool at a snookerium which charges $5.40 per hour. that's pretty cheap. after playing we went to eat sushi at dunno which sushi outlet. we were quite broke and recorded down each platter we took. grr.. no peace eating and it wasn't filling at all. i paid $6.60 to feel hungry. ate only the appetisers. so loser. hah. alrite -end-

today is one of the last few pe lessons that we play sports together. must treasure it more. next week, and another. no more.

i'm supposed to sms bernyce today to keep her entertained but somehow fell asleep during lessons. i woke up and saw her msg so replied to aplogize and after that? sleep AGAIN. LOL and she called me. too bad, try harder next time. i kept my phone in my bag so the vibration wouldn't disrupt my beautiful sleep.

today is pool day! nic, ron, des, chelle and me went pooling. i have the feel today. =). the dragon-S lame shit was so damn dumb and fun! oh ya, sorry nic, whole day i was making fun of him and his motorola phone with appear on the advertisement (the chien ya chien ya indian song). i'll give you some more pool tips for as an apology. after pool we had dinner at macs and the prawn burger sucks.

i did 17 storeys of ankle weights at my block and took a lift down to my storey. my stamina sucks. at storey 6 i'm already panting and sweating profusely. hafta do more next time. i still have a race-to-top-of-UOB deal with chun. 17 storeys are peas compared to UOB building.

moderation day was over and its totally none of my business. moderate, no moderate, same same. i slept through geography again today. can't help right? its so boring. kym talked about moderation and i thought about my cca score. A2, like its of any use. i'm definitely not in a very good mood. i'll kill this farking bird if it ever flys low. i went to draw money from the atm to lend it to benny and outside the posb, some bird shit hit my hand as i'm handing the notes over to benny. wtf man. my arm isn't that fat right? why was the bird so damn accurate? i'll burn ur nest and break eggs. flatten your beak too.

i went for a haircut at qb house and the china hairdresser questioned me about singapore's education system. no comments. i got ankle weights! gonna do 17 storeys a day and hope i can pull the ring with both my hands.

is it so hard to talk to your ex? *shrugs*

sian

monday, tuesday and finally wednesday. they all passed slowly especially at school. school is getting more and more boring and i'm dozing more than half the time. home is quite boring too. cos i lost my drive to revise for these few days and i'm pratically staring at my books, waiting for sleeping time. (continue later, mom is screaming for me to be in bed, as always.)

monday again, and i din't do much for the weekends. school was waste of time today. completely no lessons. we played basketball for pe again and this time aaron tore the bottom of his pants till the whole of his calf could be seen. we made fun by singing the 'mat tappered' song. super super lame.

the only better thing of the day is d and t results. i did well enough to get an overall A1 when everything is combined together. hope i do the same for the actual o's. i think my class need to take the paper slightly more seriously. don't let others look down at us.

i was supposed to study a pp macs after school and guess what? nic and friends jio me for pool, my fingers itched, i can't resist the temptation of stroking the cue and the clashing sounds of marble balls. so ended up playing pool at crc. damned, lost one game. zhong plays it more bastard than me, giving me no opened balls to hit. but i have to say he's good, the top few players in my class.

i saw mark at pp mrt station and took the same route back with him and had lunch at punggol plaza. omg! we both gonna get diabetes soon, everyday also eat sweet desserts from the dessert stall. after that i borrowed some 'essay sutra - how to write a sexy essay" from him and photocopied it. sounds good, hope it'll improve my essay writing. we walked home and it was only then i realised how close he stays from me! i'm at block 130 and his is 132. a paper plan could get a message across. good, next time i can call him out for prata supper at jalan kayu.

gg gave me the form to attend singapore poly classes for first two weeks of january next year. costs $20. should i go? i feel lazy to travel all the way down to dover. shall see who goes tomorrow. headache, sleeping now.

15.09.2004

yesterday was a tough night. i did final touch-up on my d and t folio and didn't expect it to be done only 3am! i woke up this morning totally zombified. i walked feeling groggy and swayed like i was drunk. i went straight to the d and t workshop and the whole place was so dark only with a speck of light emerging from the office's see-through door window. I looked in expecting to see mr tan but goh was there and it quite shocked me. i remembered mr tan saying that he'll screw the person who disturbs him in the morning. it was agreed that srikanth and bryan also hand up the folio together but the 2 idiots weren't there even at 7.05. so i just knocked the door and went it... he gave me the disturbed look and asked me, 'finished?' i told him i completed and the irritated expression faded from his face. maybe he expected me to say that i still have a few pages that i was unsure how to do and he'll probably screw me.

i didn't bring reading book for assembly today and yi ting saved me. hey good buddy i owe you one. he tore off halve of an already-thin booklet which he ripped off from someones reader's digest. LOL, luckily the dumb prefect didn't notice my ultra thin version of reader's digest.

something to be happy and yet angry about. i got back my e maths paper. the grade skipped from mid year paper's E8 to B3. it was such a pity, i scored 68, missing A2 just by that little bit. i failed geography with 21/50. the part B of question 4 sucks. i wrote almost a page for it to get ZERO. damn it, just cos i didn't link the question's data to my answers. next was physics practical, 7/15. i was quite surprised that i could still get some marks even though my graph was screwed, with a gradient of 1300. LOL!!! but for my chemistry practical, confirm, chop chop plus guarantee won't score. cos everything i mixed turned out to be black and smelt of amonia.

after school i skipped d and t to help brian complete his artifact. hope you finish tomorrow yea? before goh come booming after you again...

today is 15th september 2004.
365 years from today was 15th september 2003.
something special happened on that day.
something that i would definitely remember..

i finally finished the whole lot of d and t crap. but still there is something to touch up on. last night i did my folio till 2am where i fell asleep on my desk and i woke again to do but soon fell asleep again. i woke up this morning quite shocked but then i decided to pon school to do up everything. when i'm done at 2pm, mr tan called me to tell me that goh was storming cos he didn't see my work. OH NO, i said i'll be down by 20mins and cabbed down. the driver was some old man and his driving is super slow. he's very grumpy too. the cabbing costed me $8.80 making me farking broke. and guess what? goh left!!!! WTH... DAMN... so i just talked cock with mr tan for awhile and left with brian. he gave me a lift on cab to ccab where i board a long bus ride home. long bus rides are nice to sleep but my legs are too long to fit comfortably into a seat. usually end up with some calf cramps. super irritating.

des told me i scored f9 for accounts, failed social studies, failed chemistry. expected.

School re-open

monday blues. i reached school still thinking its holidays and i reluctantly dragged my feet up the stairs, up to my class. i forget to bring my tie and was called out to the noticeboard area with many others. the captain scolded us in his kiddy voice. its so frail. the quality of school captains are half-lifing every year and this year's one doesn't even have the zai atmosphere as he's delivering a speech. he said that next week, people who have forgotten to bring their tie will be caned. i think that is fuggin lame. we come school, not to learn how to wear tie you morons. maybe next week i'll try the new system.

pe was fun. we had full-court 5 on 5. during warm up i was burned my arthur twice! LOL!! but i burned the opponents too okie, my shots all went 'chop' today. loy played well today. you'll turn pro very very soon.

tonight gonna be a long night finishing up my d and t folio.

i sms-ed her yesterday late evening.
a normal and simple message.
i waited for my phone to beep.
it was 10pm and the phone finally beeped.
this excitement rose in me.
i hoped it was her.
i thought it really gonna be her.
but, it wasn't.
it was arthur asking me to bring basketball. -_-"
false alarm.
i slept at 2am.
with an empty inbox.

i don't want to miss a thing...

Stayover!

yesterday was quite fun. i studied the whole today till night where darren came, i left hse around 11 to meet him at seng kang mrt station and we cabbed to jalan kayu to have prata for supper. sherman suddenly couldn't come, aww pity. the place was kinda crowded but the food aint that nice as it was 10 years ago. i think its due to the restructuring of the prata inudustry. they now pre knead and pre fry the prata, mass producing them just like a huge prata factory. so guess it gonna be cold and rubbery on serving. after that we cabbed home and this nice uncle just took what we have cos we ran out of cash. at my house we played pictionary and it was really fun cos we ruled the group. our drawing and guessing was super kin (fast). that proved liquor make us think faster =X... i soon fell asleep and darren was playing pictionary all night till i woke again at close to 5. we started a kbox session and i think my parents heard it. that's the only explanation for them scolding me in the morning. we kboxed and chit-chatted till it was 7am and we started sleeping. finally woke up around 2+ in the noon and went to have lunch. more stayovers after exams!

shall i sms her?
yes.
no.
dunno.

face to face.. and a thousand miles apart..

BBALL is fun

yesterday was a rather competitive day. morning was screwed up. i went school all the way to find out the workshop was closed and so i can't take pictures of my artifact. so i just passed xiang zhong the stuff he wanted and went school to see who is there. poor zhe yin was rammed on the face by a soccer ball. the impact left a long vertical scar from his nose up to his eyebrow cos he was wearing specs. shawn is being a bastard, he pretended like its just a little injury (yea, it is little, only on the surface but bled quite alot) and didn't even apologize. i would have given you a concave nose if zhe yin is my good brother.

i met bei yuan at pp macs and we sat down to chit chat. later on we went to pp cc to play basketball. we made friends with this tjc guy and formed a team to play against 2 other teams there. we played winner stay and my team was knocked out first. the uncle with a funny accent was really good. his hang time was godly despite being plump. his 3-point shots were extremely accurate, just like his jumpshots. -to be continued-

burst

it's bursting outta me.

i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.

i talked whole morning to darren about that. quite depressing. anyway thank you darren.

if i could, then i would

i'll go wherever you will go

way up high or down low

i'll go wherever you will go

if i could turn back time

i'll go wherever you will go

if I could make you mine

i'll go wherever you will go

fook dnt workshop!

i woke up late for d and t today and rushed down. reached by 11+ and uncle tan was about to strangle me. i thought it would be simple but take hell lot of time. the blardie buffer makes the alumnium black instead of a shiny. i'm all done now, left with a little problem with the support that allows the spotlight to be mounted onto the wall. school ran out of material, how amazing eh? my dad pays tax regularly you know? lol. think i'm going school tomorrow. pray that i'll finish the final lap.

after d and t i went toa payoh to play basketball and i ran into nuppies before meeting dg. dg and me went to play first and nuppie joined in later. grr.. we kena dok (got thrashed) by the team there but they are club players so shoud have certain standard. if they couldn't thrash us we could just replace them in the club. anyway it's such a spoilsport. we formed a team with 2 outsiders and took on few of these tough and massy looking indos and was about to dok them. we scored a few and the club players invited us to leave the court cos their training was starting. after take i and dg had dinner and we went to get budget bubble tea and then sat down to talk. nice talk, i miss sec1 and sec2 days. but hello!? please get moving yit jing.

pride triggers trouble.
give up pride and peace is restored.

thankew uncle tan!

i woke up and studied awhile before leaving school to please my mum abit. it did. but it was really late by then, 10 plus in the morning and uncle tan will get mad thinking i'm lazy. so i cabbed down to school. there was no taxi stand at my area and i just stood by the roadside to flag for one. 4 people intercepted the taxis before me and i was getting really really pissed that i whacked the lampost. first was an old aunty, fine.. priority given to the aged. TO BE CONTINUED...
fooking pissed. mum is lecturing me again.

okay i'm back. next was a mum with a baby, i excuse. next was a lame, i excuse again. last was the one that pissed me off, a punkily dressed kid. hello?! i'm doing serious business and you were just out there to play. do you need to make it so obvious that you were intercepting MY cab? i finished most of the parts of my d and t artifact and it was quite tough. now left with the switch/battery box which should be much simpler compared to the artifact itself. phew.

i took a bus to potong pasir mrt station and stoned at the stairs for quite some time. along came a jovial looking indian man. he was walking towards the toilet and he gave me such a warm smile. i was puzzled. was he just another too-friendly uncle or did i meet him before somewhere else? after he visited the loo, he came back and this time he gave me a wider smile and stopped in front of me. a conversation went on...

"hello young man, the back of your shirt says 'once a saint... always a saint...'." (that's what printed behind my shirt)
"hiiii yep.. that's my school-based shirt."
"oh i see.. young man are you lonely or troubled?"
"nope, i'm just waiting for friends over here." (i just lied out of the blue, don't ask me why)
"your girlfriend?"
"nope, my bunch of buddies."
"young man you had your lunch? no?"
"yea no.. i only had a snack."
"i see i see. i read from your face that you are troubled and hungry. and you are actually not waiting for anyone but a solution for everything.. hohohoho.. relax saint." (he walks away slowly still bearing that smiley face)

i was stunned for a moment. this man seemed like some some holy divine man. somehow he made me feel better although not much. he could even tell what's going on in me.

i went douby gaud station arcade to do some lone arcading and vented everything on soul calibur (3-D fighting game). soon imeldie came to pass me the cookies she baked and we walked towards orchard station. the food u baked is very nice! i couldn't name it and classified it as 'food' cos i dunno whether its a muffin or cookie! hahahahahhaha.. lamo...

i jus quarreled with my mum AGAIN... she buay sian i'll sian one okay... she's scolding me again, saying that people spending so much time on d and t doesn't exist. she said im wasting my time and she said d and t A1 so what? you flop others still same same. hello?! first, i'm telling you i'm NOT wasting my time and i'm really busy with my artifact. next is, at least i get an A for d and t. that's better than flopping everything. you said i'm not doing my work and studying. i know since secondary one i haven't been a good boy but now i'm trying to change day by day. i did comprehension and practiced maths today. why do you have to demoralize me in this way? saying i'll fail my entire prelims badly and that i'll flop my 'o' levels? its like i'm climbing up the rungs of a ladder and every step i take, you saw off sections of the ladder below, making me stagnant...

i hope tomorrow will be a better day and i can finish up the little switch/battery box and hand up the artifact. and what's more, my bloody folio.. have to stay up every night to rush to hand up. guess this is the longest entry i ever blogged. sorry for venting on it.

*peace*

Quarrel

i just quarrelled with mum AGAIN. she compared me, said all those 'o' level students are doing stacks and stacks of exam papers at fastfood outlets and i'm doing nothing at all and being very relaxed. WTF!! i'm not being rude or wadeva fuck if you think i am but i really am busy. d and t is really really draining me and past week and today i've been working on it, searching for stuffs and troubleshooting. if u call this idling, i suggest you can let me quit school now. you said im wasting time doing d and t so why you send me to school for? you say i'm lazy cos i can't wake up on time but im really tired and i have stuffs to do. i dun think you'll understand and after all these big-talking down here, i'll still try to go by you, making you think you are always correct and i'm wrong big time.

*peace out and chill*

Same old shit

same old boring shit again. d and t..d and t and still d and t.. screw it! but after all, some progress made and its almost done. i shaped the screwthread knob thing and i fooked it up at the parting off process. that little thing flew off the lathe machine and struck the wall splitting into two. felt like smashing the whole damn thing but i have to be patient and strong. finally and successfully made one at last.

to the electrical shop aunty: if you don't know what the heck you are selling, kindly invest in a different trade. your every word for instance 'i think so' or 'maybe can' may cost lives.

after workshop session, i went over to chia's. i watch him play guitar and i just monkey-ed around with the drumsticks making pure noise. he thought me bar chords that are so cool. he showed me fast solos that my eyes can't even catch up with his fingers. what i can say about him is talent and passion made him a pro guitarist. we went a nearby kopitiam for lunch and was back soon again. brian's jamming studio is great! so cosy and when the lights are out it's pitch dark. he played a tune in the dark which impressed me and we played a fool by tuning the amplifier to some eerie sound. we discussed how it'll freak the daylights outta ben and boyu if they happen to come. i got hangover soon and was groggy. quite surprising, i guess it was from the alcohol i drank last night. the hangover was so delayed. we fell asleep and woke only 6+pm. brian's other friends had came and we jammed. he taught me skateboarding and it was fun! going home was a long long long journey and i switched four buses from choa chu kang to punggol. there are other shorter alternatives but i'm just too dumb to figure out at that moment. i wanna make my room like brian's jamming studio!

*peace out*

screwed day

wanted to complete my folio today but guess how much i did? nothing. but at least i did some maths practice. went to the whole of hougang hunting for hardware shops to look for a suitable size and voltage bulb for my d and t artifact and i finally found one from ntuc of all the countless shops which either don't sell such weird bulb or not opened.

was chilling at rem's house and we blasted techno like we were clubbing. i was the dj for today and did the sound tuning for reset blue and expresso drive me crazy. it rawked and got my brothers and me high. 100% confirm plus guarantee destressing.

today wasn't a good day. lectured a few people and met with some problems.

bgr is a confusing issue.
man are slaves of all emotions.

One step closer

yeap, i've solved my artifact spotlight's problem but now another occured. BUT nevermind, cos i'm strong and i'll overcome it after a night's sleep. i went school workshop at 7am today and uncle tan came later. he's glad about my enthusiasm and that's good but actually my dad just dropped me there early as he was on his way to work. most of the time was spent hunting around the whole of kolam ayer for electronical parts and i did abit of assembling. hope i can finish everything by monday and hand it up.

played basketball with my junior (a club trainee who's kinda ego) and owned his arse!! wanna defend me? train more and stop boasting. also do something about your fade away so you won't get blocked too often.

i met sol in town to play pool and we both were not on form. imeldie and bernard came later and soon i punched the table and watched others play cos i dun wanna waste my money (i'm already broke). after that, played arcade with sol and the 2 player street fight thing was fun!!

runaway with my heart
runaway with my hope
runaway with my love

recalls the past

i met you one year ago...
around today.


friday, 5th september 2003

D and T you SUCK

happy burfday jiawei!!! =D

i don't think you'll be able to see this but i sent you a sms anyway.

i thank the heavens for the early downpour so there's no morning assemby. i was lethargic maybe cos i was sick for the past 5 days. school was a bore and i was sleeping through the boring geography lessons. a little fun came in only during recess. brother ox was in cahoots with me and we came up with this cock and bull story about me tioking with some basketball court gangsters around my estate to bluff brother loong. it was to my surprised that he fell for that crap and he still thinks it's real now. he questioned me and demanded for the people. it seemed that he really wanted to give them a good thrashing. SORRY if you happen to read this and if not, your loyalty in brotherhood is surely recognized :)

the period after recess was e maths and goh ai lim said i improved for maths. i think the only reason is that i failed my midyear badly and managed to pass this time round. its only paper one anyway, nothing much to rejoice about. went for d and t after school and it really spoilt my mood. my artifact was almost done but the assembly was screwed and it still is, and i dunno how the fuck i'm gonna unscrew it. and phoon is chasing for the folio which i can't start cos my artifact aint done.

i wanna go arcade to chill with some fighting game with cool graphics...

bloogy is back

friday, aug 27

bombed physics paper.
tikam poa mcq.
teriyaki burger at mos rawks.
went to darren's.
slacked and fell asleep there.
went basketballing at tp west with darren.
was hot for a moment.
pulled my calf muscule.

saturday, aug 28

met avan and chelle for pool.
imeldie came too.
lost one game to her.
walked all the way to hmv for ice-cream.
ice-cream shop was closed.
went paragon for rum and raisin ice-cream.
throat felt funny at night.

sunday, aug 29

sorethroat.
fever.
flu.
didn't study for d and t papers.

monday, aug 30

bombed d and t papers.
sorethroat.
fever.
flu.
cough.

tuesday, aug 31

teachers' day concert suck. (to contestants: cannot sing dun force)
break dancers rawkz.
brian's drumming rawkz.
ellijah please dun kill the drums.
visited choo lee tiang. (my pri school teacher)
took the special route home which changed my mood slightly.

wednesday, sept 1

same and sick.
feel well but thermometer insist i have fever.
overdose of panadol. (panadols do nothing)
i am going to sleep soon.

Orals die

monday just sucks, had accounts exam which i bombed and e maths paper 2 which may bomb too. after school was orals and i think i did badly for it. the conversation part on tuesday was much much easier! concerning an accident you met. my english teacher said one of my classmates managed to melt the teacher with i-broke-my-leg story. grrr.. why dun moe assign me to tuesday?! i can tell them my true story which left one permanent scar on my forehead.. alritee damn, shan't whine abit it.. pointless

i didn't study for chinese and went to take the papers yesterday. i slept for half an hour for the 2 hour TO BE CONTINED... (this is getting lame, really sorry but i've forgotten what happened. thanks to my pea brain.)

sick

its weekends again. my aunties came over from jb to stay for the weekend and 'invaded' my room. i sought refuge in my brother's room and slept directly below merciless the air-con. it blasted shards of ice on me till i frozed. i huddled into a ball which didn't help much. some how, a powerful strength was stopping me from getting a blanket from the wardrobe which was my only hope. i remained half-awake through the night and finally its dawn again. now i'm sneezing big time cos i caught flu and slight fever. it sucks cos the medication aint doing any help except draining me, making me look like a zombie and my nose is still running like a bloody tap. guess i gonna fail accounts exam on monday. hurry up recover yit jing, PLEASE... dun let your nose-y voice spoil the oral marks on monday.

*sneezes* arghhhh... fook!! i hate being unwell...

practical exam

yep, one more paper down which is my combined physics and chemistry practical exam yesterday. CMI! CANNOT MAKE IT!! my graph for physics has got some 1300++ gradient and i was like WTF?! anyway its over. but i still wonder how does a 1300++ gradient line looks like. definitely not the one on my paper, think i made some scale mistake perhaps. the exam end around 9+ am and we were all quarantined in the classrooms till 12.30pm. i realised something i can study in a quiet environment without my phone and other form of distractions.

tomorrow is EL paper 2. wish me luck, really need it.

OX and Dino asked me to play basketball with them tomorrow after the papers together with LW who is leaving for canada soon. will be going since its the last time i can play basketball with LW.

failing.. fail.. failed.. ALREADY FAILED... hur hur...

i'm in a rather crazy mood. i think i failed my maths paper one today. i lose 11 marks of 80 and of those i did, im unsure of my answers. i find the paper difficult where others leave the examination grounds saying "so easy", "chicken feet", "this is the easiest paper i have ever done in this school". im one step closer to being a 30+ or 40+ pointer. shucks.

muthu(lame disciplinary teacher) send me for RC(reflection class). i didn't tuck in my shirt, and he pulled it more and pat my arse. WTH do u think you are doing?! are you gay? i of course shouted "MOLEST" and now he send me for RC... how dumb...

stressed

fear exams... fear results... i am trying to study, God please help me...

sigh

i'm just a little boy who wishes to be understood by mom.

apologies

hey, apologies. didn't update for so long and i forgot about the "TO BE CONTINUED" entry. went through quite a series of shit and a new chapter begins... (not much difference)

woke up and went school for d and t practical. i set my mind to finish up the remaining 10% but i failed to. i'm quite pissed about that cos its not my fault, neither the assistants fault, nor mr goh's fault.

(warning: the following message may be offending to some but i'm refering to no one in particular)

Why are D and T students who need assistance have to queue so bloody long? Explain your answer [12marks]

d and t is a subject which requires some workshop skills, flexibily, creativity and much more but what i think really is important is being self-reliant. come on people, you guys have hands and brains. why the hell do you need the assistants to help you complete the whole damn thing? assitants are called assistants not for nothing. they assist, meaning provide little help and advices here and there when you are stucked, not there for you to do your whole d and t artifact. By depending on the assistants to do 90% or more of your artifact deprive others who are working on their own, advices and help when they needed it very much. and worse, those who instruct the assistants to do this and that and then go home. you aren't helping yourself where others are trying to help you. what are you trying to show? at least use your eye power, look at what the assistant is doing and learn from it. that will at least give you a "i wanna learn" outlook. better make up your idea before i give you people's half-done artifacts a full swing.

(end of dangerzone)

alright, i shall chill. anyway my artifact is almost done, need mr azmi to drill the hole on the rod and finish up the top cover. after workshop closed, i went to play basketball with my juniors. to the 1500mm moron: not just cos you are taller and bigger then the 1450mm boy, you can deliberately elbow him as you like. i can do that to you too and i seriously think the number of bones in your body will multipy.

think the whole of this entry is getting heated up. shall just end it here.

*peace out*

rest in peace

what shall i start with? so many things happened. okie, maybe not so much. yeap, this early morning at 2.40am i watched soccer finals, greece vs portugal. watched it cos i bought 10 bucks from singapore pools. somehow i fell asleep after 30 minutes and i was awaken by the repeated ringing of the phone in the living room. the ringing sounded real desperate and yep, my aunt was on the line told me grandpa passed away in malaysia. i froze a moment and thought again to myself. "what did she say" "grandpa passed away?" after i confirmed it wasn't an illusion i woke my mom and told her that. she was pretty shocked but we all were prepare. i aint close to my grandpa and didn't felt that much but it was saddening to watch my mom weep. anyway, she wept not cos of the death(he's 86, pretty ripe age) but cos he suffered much before death. whose fault? my grandma but won't go into the details. anyway i think its good that he freed himself from suffering. TO BE CONTINUED

O's listening

today's o's chinese listning compre and it sucks la. my frens and me all different answers one! lol, heck it, it's over anyway. next week tues still got chinese orals! damned.. i hate oral exams. today woke up late den realised i forgot to dye my hair black manz. then used some black yucky spray which ah hao gave to mi. after the exam went market to eat with hao, des and kian. then talk alot of cork, talk and talk till we ate 3 or 4 pratas each then we realise! after that me and des went back to school for poa remedial. also talked alot of crap la. carol yap is a fun teacher!! after that ron met with us and went to des' house to change shirt and after we exit his house we heard some footsteps (he's not allowed to bring friends home and cannot leave home after he have gone home) and ron peeped and saw des' sis. she darted up the stairs and we all chiong upwards, ran like 8 storeys up and passed a few 90-degrees turns before we heard nothing behind. she saw ron only. mayb she chased cos she thought we ron broke into her house?! lol! after that went to hougang plaza and tried to play pool but my des and ron's birthdays are not over yet. sianed -.-" then we went 7-11 to grab a bite. got this mashed potato thing. nice! i damn sua ku can? the thing came out in liquid from a dispenser then slow solidify one..!!! okie okie.. shall try stop being mad. haish my grandpa in malaysia entered hospital emergency department again.. twice or thrid time le and my mom is going back to take a look. hope he can make it.. God bless my grandpa health, my mom a safety trip and mantain or make me a good boy at least till O's are over.