Jimmy's Ass

i'm back, and back to school too. school's like getting more and more boring. hope some exciting projects (i doubt there are any which are exciting) will be out soon. let me bitch about my elective again. it's teaching bull - methods to remember things better. we watched this video which showed us how to FORCE ourselves to remember things visually. i'll draw an example.

it's rather damn silly but read on anyway. the video wants us to remember items in sequence by linking them together. watch.

pencil
eraser
jimmy
ass
operating room

now remember them in sequence by joining them up. here we go...

i saw a PENCIL with an ERASER at the end driven up JIMMY'S ASS and he was sent into an OPERATING ROOM.

i'm not sure if it works. i can't be bothered when we were asked to memorize using this FLAWLESS method. like try at home with more random words and reply on my tagboard if it works.

i've got a new phone, k7100i. it may sound old to you but i don't really care. phone companies can't make me buy their fresh-baked phones which are expensive. i'm a very patient person.

you gain something and you lose something. it's true. i got a phone and my zen micro fucked up terribly. it's behaving AS THOUGH IT OWNS ME INSTEAD OF ME OWNING IT!! it jumps to random tracks for no damn reason, switches to the fm radio as it likes and switches off automatically with no warning. and also, the socket for the ear-phones are screwed up once again. i just feel like flinging it right out of the window and letting it land at the void deck in a thousand pieces. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

i saw that pretty girl at north canteen today! =DDD

Help baygon

today was one of the worst day of my life. i was extremely traumatized by an unfortunate encounter, so much that my balls had probably shrunk by the power of five. i guess the depression hot-line in my previous entry finally came to use for me. the story unfolds.

this morning was smooth sailing until i had a tummy ache. with no delay, i made my way to the block N level two toilet for a fast game. the following was sighted when i reached for the toilet paper...
see that? IT'S THE WINGED INSECT THAT EXISTED SINCE PREHISTORICAL AGE TILL THIS VERY MOMENT, THE FREAKING COCKROACH!! the moment i pulled the toilet roll, it crawled upwards and disappeared into the dispenser again. from then onwards, my every single movement in that cubicle was made in anticipation - to dodge the insect at all cost. the roachie's a real bastard. it didn't wait for my pants to be up before posing a threat to me. when i was done and was about to exit the cubicle, the roach emerged from its base to challenge me. it crawled to the top of the dispenser and started wielding its feelers menacingly, like it was about to strike or pounce on me any second. i had two decisions in my mind. 1) attack 2) retreat. of course, being a peace lover, i retreated. after noticing that it isn't doing anything much, i pressed my body closely to the wall and strafed my way out of the cubicle. PHEW.

this suddenly reminded me of the ma-ia-hi ma-ia-hoo cockroach song by guo mui mui which sounds pretty much like a strangled chicken. it irks me to the core.

by the way, a short home video of mine featuring school will be up soon. so stay tuned.

Holishit

it's the third week of school and i'm still not tuned in yet. somehow, some part of my brain tells me it's still the holidays and i can lepak as i like. HELLO BOY! HOLI-YOUR-SHIT! time for work to be done. anyway i sort of promised my dad straight B+s. so i'd better get to some work this week. i was so bored during lecture today that i fell asleep and drooled more than a gallon. the mr chai guy is'nt that entertaining but well, school is'nt a circus right. the staffs are not instructed to clown around like son wei meng. today, my class supposed to have an hour of e-learning for digital electronics but the lecturer let us off after thirty minutes. reason to it, he actually wanted to end our suffering. he thought most of us looked like we were trapped in a torture chamber. true indeed, some stared at the screen blindly like he's brain-washed and some had the depression-state facial expression. i feel a little sad for the lecturer so... erm, i'm gonna try pwn this module (it seems more complicated than electronic fundamentals which i scored B+.) by the way, back to depression, i've got something to share that may benefit the whole sunny island. if you feel lost and feel like crying all the time, you might be in a depression and if you think you do, try MUST call this hot-line: 1800-223-1313. maybe some guy like vincent ma will pick up the call and listen to your sorrows but i'm not sure. do call anyway.

oh yes, mr son said the wrong things during lessons today. he kindly reminded us that the programming we did for the past three weeks were just peanuts and crackers (once again, definitely not durai's peanut if you are wondering). he warned that we gonna go hardcore next week. ROFL! it sounded terribly wrong and horny rico shouted, "BRING WHIP AND HANDCUFFS!". son gave a weird disgusted expression at first but suddenly and accompanied by cheeky grin, he added, "bring chain also." lolol, alright let's move out of this explicit topic immediately. and if you don't find this whole chunk explicit, don't bother to find out why. i repeat, DON'T BOTHER TO FIND OUT WHY!

so finally, i shall close this entry with a quote. it goes:
"it's always in some way a virtue to remain innocent."

as innocent as bryan chen my old little friend perhaps. he secretly told me in his mousey voice that he only gonna include "fuck" in his dictionary of vocabulary at the age of eighteen. so it'll be a year later untill little bryan goes around swearing fuck at everyone. beware, you might be his next victim.

out.

Graphic Artist

looking at my previous entry, i realized i wasn't in a clear state of mind while typing it out but anyway, don't bother. i became a little sick after that and rested home the whole weekend. boring, punch match with kc was postponed. don't ask me why am i online now . i've got no clue.

just a short update on the opening of the week. i was sleepy as usual and caught no ball during c programming lecture. in actual fact, i saw no ball (my eyes were almost shut), so how to catch eh? i'm starting to miss miss benita's personal development lessons. my current lecturer for elective isn't anywhere close to her in terms of being an interesting speaker. let me think why... maybe he's too formal? or maybe he's restricted by the subject? drop that, i'm too lazy to think. our creative task today was to make the maximum number of half-folds we could on a sheet of paper. that's quite lame, lamer than the egg-protector project (for personal-development.) but fair enough, we were let off earlier by thirty minutes, i shan't complain.

the c programming lab later in the afternoon was kind of easy. i wasn't as blur as when i first learned java. all the practical questions were done in less than forty-five minutes and the rest of the time was spent fooling around and communicating with our dear c programming educator informally (the mr son guy which you will see his picture later on). by the way he's hilarious, as compared to the rest of the lecturers at least. he opened up the class messenger thingie and projected it on the screen again.

out of pure boredom, i decided to showcase my artistic talent.

first, i drew a rock-sign which is overused by sir sylvester sim. next, i decided to draw mr son! it looks rather like him but looking at his response, he doesn't really seem pleased. maybe the strokes weren't that tidy but everyone know it's him. i was using the mouse to draw by the way.

an urge randomly hit me. i want to go for a date on the weekends! i don't know why am i feeling like this since an hour ago. okay, maybe i haven't been dating for one, two, three... ermm, seven to eight months? ms ng, my previous lecturer didn't believe that when i told her i didn't date for quite some time. she went, "HAHA, my toes are laughing." maybe she was hinting me but i didn't get it at that time, ROFL BULLSHIT.

Asshole! in a game's context

it's the weekends again. it've been a rather long week due to the new timetable and a really long day at school today. we had a damn four-hour break for all the gods' sake. that was because some two hour lecture was cancelled. back then, we complained about two-hour breaks. four hours' crazy, and to make it sound worse, all the waiting was for a thirty-five minute briefing. that goes into my own book of guinness record under the LONGEST WAIT. of course not ranked first, which was marked by my one of my exes but yes, try waiting. you'll might simply sink into a depression and soon wanting to slash your wrist to end the long four-hour wait. alright, that was exaggerated.

we actually had a plan to kill time. it was pooling at grassroot club but sadly, liang decided to flaunt his billabong slippers and the security guard stopped us. he went by the rules and didn't give a shit whether it is a billabong, trial or tat sing slippers. so out we went. the rest of the break was spent sleeping in the library. nyp should build something like a nap area with hammocks seriously. everytime i enter the library (to sleep), there seem to be a high demand for a sleeping area. why not give students better rest and so they can learn more efficiently?

finally the long wait and briefing was over. i went over to yt's with aug and des. we boredphucks had loads of fun playing this four-fighter game with characters made up of celebrities like sean paul and other rappers. we choose this subway environment to fight and after getting a little bored, we made our own rule which was fighting on the tracks. the objective was to get your opponents squashed by the train which passes randomly. how saddistic but we thought it was funny in some way (e.g pulling someone down the track and hopping up to the platform, dodging when your opponent tries to pounce on you from the platform while you are on the track.) any stated way will result in your opponent getting run over by the train and looking like the patty in your favourite mc donald's big breakfast meal. yum.

we played 'asshole', before we left. it is like daidee but there's king, queen, servant and asshole ranks given to the four players. the winner becomes the king and of course, losing makes you an asshole. being the asshole is really humiliating. the king gets to sit on the big throne-like chair and the asshole will have to sit beside the king on a low stool. worse, he has to squat down and shuffle/deal the cards and also pour the liqour everytime someone passes. yt was the biggest asshole and was suan-ed badly by all of us.

it's kinda of abrupt to stop here but i'm tired and gonna turn in soon.

out.

Dr. Jekyll's and Mr. Hyde's grandson(s)

today's the first day of the semester and unfortunately, i slept only for an hour the night before due to a wrecked body clock. i got an early sms from diane who is having her holidays now and thought she woke up early to message me that she's still slumped in bed just to spite me. i was wrong. she had to wake up as early as me to do her pw, HAHA. that made me felt a thousand times much better but still screwed.

we had four hours of lessons by the same guy. let me introduce *drum roll* SON! oops, i meant mr son. he's lamely funny, possesses facial expressions similar to russell peters' and talks with the least bit of relevance at times. okay, i forgot about the main point. he teachs us c programming. this will go on for the next decade if i am to narrate his attempts to entertain us with his teaching style. getting on with life, i'll leave that for after retirement. anyway i was so tired that i yawned till i teared and my jaw snapped out twice. when his lesson was about to end, i had a sudden urge to beat him in lameness and messaged him "CALL ME FATHER!" on the class chat thingy, which was on the projector screen. idiot, jinxian flooded him with HAHAs and emoticons and so he didn't get to see that.

i've got stuffs to announce. CREATIVE THINKING AND PROBLEM SOLVING is really really very fucking extremely creative when it came to group activities. leaving that to the last, he started the lesson off with inventions. i slept and woke several times and he was still explaining each invention with maxed enthusiasm. try to imagine how much he went through. from *INHALE* chimpanzees eating termites, to a teeny weeny little stone hammer at nomad age, to the rise of civilizations, to ghenghis khan and his grandson kubalai khan conquering from china to europe... (insert any shit found in your history text) ... and finally to the first man leaving his footprint on the moon. *EXHALE* history lessons aside, we finally got to do some group activity. the topic was to act, speak or dress like a celebrity and making others guess. huisheng and jaychou was in my group and we named ourselves 'we actually can think'. we slacked during discussion and when asked to act, we stoned for a moment. huisheng kept telling me his english sucks (no link eh, you can swear in hokkien and pose as mark lee right?) and jaychou had the i-rather-fail-than-go-act face. see, i've got no choice and had to go. with sadako, william hung, superman and all the bunch of commons acted out, i wringed my brains for a unique idea. *snap fingers* let's get political! and so i acted as t.t durai with his golden tap and potty. not bad, for that i've got two points. thirteen more and i'll pass.

"oi, you teaching creative thinking or drama?"

i'll sum up this entry with a new sighting. i previously saw this guy around school wearing a so-hardcore inverted cross chain on his neck. nothing wrong to me, maybe to the christians but i am not here judge. this is what i saw today. listen up yo? i saw the same guy at food junction and he has got a big holy crucifix across his neck this time. LOL? don't get it? here's a metaphor.

it's like someone saying...
"hey, i have a penis"
and after a few seconds, he changes his mind.
"sorry, but i think i have a vagina"
and finally, he confirms.
"actually, i have both!"

alright, i'm so full of shit. goodnight.

Queen of England

i went sengkang's pizza hut for lunch and noticed they have some new company policy namely, bowing before customers. at first, this really young waiter bowed to me. i thought: this boy who looks fifteen must be a noob working during the holidays. noobs probably show more respect to their customers. but after meeting the other waiters/waitresses, i guess it must be some sort of new etiquette. they all bowed to me like i'm the queen of england sultan of temasek. before i left, they all bowed again, a forty-five-degree bow. maybe it was due to the drop in ranking of singapore's customer service. anway, that was why i quit kendo back then. 1) i went there with friends. 2) i never liked it one bit. 3) they made me bow to the school crest and kneel-bow to the trainer.

oh yes before i forgot, some rather new counter girl at pj asked for desmond's and kc's id. rofl x 3. now, desmond became emofied.

check out the pack of trishaws around bugis and middle road. they are cooler than jay chou's initial-d racing car. they are heavily modified with neons, LEDs, surround sound speakers, sub-woofers and one even had a redundant exhaust pipe.

school's starting tomorrow. gah.

boo. i made my way down to as far as toa payoh and found out that the two basketball courts were occupied, one by taichi and the other by people playing friendly matches. some how, the friendly matches isn't that friendly. i was a little pissed that darren didn't tell me the courts are full. we noobies had to shoot a few hoops when the two teams happened to be attacking and defending at the other side. imagine the ball i shot hits the rim and bounced off to the other end causing some confusion. i'll be fucked. so after shooting a few, i gave up and sat down to watch. it was quite an exciting show. there's a group of china players and among them, there's a fair muscular guy who was half naked and was wearing a thick gold chain. it looks very inappropriate but well, maybe it's his only asset kept with him before leaving china and was instructed not to lose it. the lights went out by ten and i made my way home.

i bumped into way liang, my ex-classmate and chatted with him on the train. he's the man, rofl. 'o' levels on next monday and he was out playing basketball earlier on. didn't that make him the real bad boy? good luck and all friend.

i by-passed saint andrew's village and saw that their swimming pool is already up. olympic size though but WHO THE HECK WITH A SANE MIND DARES TO SWIM IN IT?! people of 3 schools crowding in a swimming pool makes it a pond instead. i might try to get a job as a life-guard there but guess i will be bore out in no time. i mean, which girl would dare to take a dive with sas and sajs?

off to pj.

monday night, i got the honour of going out with four girls, muahaha. anyway, breaking news here so listen up. jasmine was wearing a skirt. let me repeat. JASMINE, WORE AN APPAREL, KNOWN AS A SKIRT! you're way to go man.

we planned to go newton for some food and walk there from scotts. when we reached, it was closed. what the hell! tourist attraction closed on the eve of a public holiday? maybe it was renovating. we finally settled with the idea esplanade and hopped onto a bus which took us there. we ordered oyster omelette and sambal stingray. after that, yve and me were broke but happy. food is one of the things that makes the world go round right? opposite our table were this young lady and a rather old man. there's only two of them and they had more than five dishes on their table. on the other hand, we had five people and two dishes. poor we. their eating style tickled us so much that i choked on the chilli. they looked like they were venting out by eating.

we bummed around and played cards as it rained. up next, i joined solikin for pool at pj and was forced to bunk over his place by the heavy rain.

moodless.