Kani Nabe

hi, yesterday was e-eight class barbeque and it made me wonder why the hell it isn't raining even a drop today.

i reached east coast park at around four yesterday to see a bunch of monkeys (whoops, i'm just kidding) trying to make fire. i offered help and as soon as three charcoal bases were being set up, it started drizzling. i cursed and swore at the heavens and finally, it unleashed its true powers, not the storm yet, but the kind-of-heavy-rain. we could only helplessly watch the flame die off before scrambling about to keep the rain away from the food.

we planned to seek refuge somewhere and so fifi and yani went to scout for shelter. luckily, some two nice uncles shared their shelter with us. they seemed to live there as they had almost everything ranging from an underwear to a hot-water flask chucked below the benches. they even had a portable arm chair to sit on! one of the uncles offered to lend us his portable barbeque pit and even helped in starting the fire. he used zippo fuel to get the charcoal burning fast. HARDCORE MAN! next time i swear i'll bring stuffs like rocket fuel if it's legal. we started barbecuing salmon and chicken wings. anyway i took off my shoes and rolled my jeans up. for the whole day, i looked like a shipwrecked farmer from china. we all really looked like the victims in LOST. hellloooooooooooo, we are here for a fun barbeque session, not to be battered by the rain and then looking like robinson crusoe. but looking on the bright side, it's a mere downpour, peanuts compared to tsunami.

the rain stopped for almost an hour and the group wanted to move back to the pit. this was when our beloved vip, mr son wei ming came. come on friends, let's start bitching about how unfair life is. he was enjoying himself watching the rain by the bus window while we all were like soaked dogs. rofl.

rico and gang came too and we started building a fire again, hoping the sun will not turn his back on us again. we continued with the cooking and mr son cracked his kani nabe joke, which means crab stew in japanese. while everyone was laughing and laming around, bright purple clouds emerged from one corner of the heavens. we felt occasional tiny droplets but refused to accept the fact by taking them as droplets from the trees. but it was in no time that the entire sky turn purplish and the rain was back to claim us of our fun.

this time however, we stayed to battle the rain. son whipped out his miniature umbrella that actually helped save the fire from the rain miraculously. he should have brought the classical durian umbrella which probably could've provided shelter for ten people.

the rain stopped again and i went seven-eleven to get a pair of slippers and some beer with rico and gang. after that, we headed back to the shelter where we tried finishing the food and drank. before ending the whole thing, fifi was trying to get rid of the syrup drink in the dispenser by forcing offering the guys to drink. jin xian was already high on the syrup and started uttering rubbish. i don't know why, but he gets high even on non-alcoholic drinks. NEVER ever try bringing him to a pub, he'll probably make it into the headlines by smashing a bottle of whiskey on everybody's head. anyway that's not the point. it was time to go and we cleared up before leaving. i offered a can of beer to the uncle as a thank for all the trouble.

jin xian and i followed rico home. i had a hot bath at his house and that recovered my senses. we then went to the benches at the playground and bummed around playing psps and cards until three plus in the morning where i cabbed home with jin xian. i puzzled me why he was so hyper last night. it was like four plus, i was knocked out on bed but he's still playing battlefield.

my dear heavens, oh please, do NOT let this happen again for my next barbeque.

that's mr son, our 'sonshine' after the sun have set. he's also our c programming lab lecturer.

check this out, we managed to keep the flame burning and wings roasting even in the rain.

salted fish going at thirty bucks each. yes, i was carrying my sneakers all the way from east coast park to bedok, then to pasir and finally to punggol. wtf.

yani the optimist, whose heart was untouched by the rain. actually, playing in the rain's fun but the fire being put out and having no change is not!

not only did i look like a shipwrecked farmer from china. i was as pale as a fish too. BOO!

Jingle Balls

christmas eve wasn't that bad after all. i thought it's only darren chilling with me but johny, aaron and desmond all came. that was reunion man. we all pooled awhile at toa payoh crc till everybody was there. after that, we cabbed down to some twenty-four hour convenience stall near johnny's and got vodka, something to mix with and chips. the counter girl introduced us cranberry juice for mixing and it's really good stuff. it rids vodka of the raw taste i don't like. we got quite high (even without drinking) while walking to johnny's place and he was quite worried that his neighbours will complain to the guards (it's an apartment). we played indian poker and finished the bottle in no time. soon it's time to leave and i cabbed home with desmond and aaron. before leaving, i took a picture!

too bad, the lighting kind of suck. it says, "ughhhhh.. i want to go home."

last night, i went town to meet up with OX, kian loong, kaiyu, jiarong and gerald. but for some reason, we waited for some unknown person for damn long. we sat around cine's long john and chatted a little before heading home. we all called that wasted youth. rofl.

Hi there.

hi there and pardon me for not having any entries for quite a long time. i was down with viral gastroenteritis since last wednesday and only recovered this monday. my appetite was really bad and luckily, it came back on this wednesday. but the comeback put me in certain disadvantage too, like getting broke. oh guess what, i'm left with twenty for christmas and the rest of the month. that's like one of the saddest ever christmas i'll be going through i guess. i had no honey for the past few christmas but at least had some money to bum around with friends and pamper myself. now? rofl, no honey, AND no money. so i'm forced to my last resort, flipping through my debt book (which only contains around three people). good ken is returning me ten but adrayne*'s being a huge bastard. he owes me sixty and either ignored my calls or switched off his phone. back then, he tried to convince me to join his company which deals with health products using multi-level networking (probably bullshiting). he claimed that it could make a windfall and so that's it, his windfall is oweing others money. nevermind, i shall keep pestering him for it. let's drop this damned topic before i start cursing and swearing again, which priscilla doesn't like.

*name editted to protect myself in case a huge stack falls from the heavens and he wanna sue me for slander.

i'm gonna show some pictures, some of which that made me broke but happy.

my old high-cut gave way so here's my new sneakers with gay blue soles. it's rather plain and i shall design the sides if i have time.

a new belt that takes the place of my traditional SA belts, LOL. but trust me, sa belts are durable and can be of more uses when you are approached by an attacker. and jin xian, you can whip your brother with it if he doesn't want to share his psp. roflol!

i went yishun's sakae sushi with rico and jin xian on wednesday. it's like disappointing although the manager was nice. look at the belt, all cheap and typical sushi for buffet. i'm serious, there are almost as much containers of wasabi as those plates of lousy sushis. no free flow drink, not much to order from the menu for the buffet.

I LOVE SUKI SUSHI! i shall advertise for them. there's two rather quiet ones, one at paradiz and the other is at hougang plaza. i went to one at paradiz with jin xian, rico and po yesterday. the buffet includes anything below $4.90 and so we gluttons grabbed all the yellow plates (yes, those which cost $4.90). the baby octopuses, seasoned scallops, jellyfishes, softshell crabs, sashimis, handrolls, butter oysters and all are just free flow. isn't that good deal? we ate like we had just made a trip to africa and back by foot. so much that the manager probably told his chef to decrease the frequency of yellow plates on the belt. but that's no treat, we could still order through the menu. one word to sum up this buffet session, OWNAGE!

this happend during digital electronics lab lesson. i was trying to remove wires from the breadboard quick and stripped one of the poor wires off his green christmas coat. pwned, poor wire. but ah lian (our dear lecturer's nick), wouldn't mind i guess because i learnt that from her!

alright, that should be all for the moment and i shall end this with a tribute to aaron ang, a dear friend of des and me. FOR YOU AARON!!! merry christmas and all!

Jump off the building with a shinai = lmao

today's FUN!

okay, maybe not THAT fun but still it is better than the rest of last week which was dull. guess what? i went kbox-ing! in case you are from mars or even pluto, kbox's a place where there are rooms, karaoke sets and where people who probably can't sing gather.

"where people who probably can't sing gather." why do i say that?

of course, i do have my reasons so listen. i was late and went up to the ktv room alone. as i was looking up for the room my friends are in, i walked pass several rooms and...

first room: i was stunned by the low-frequecy yet trembly-loud noise voice emitted from it. the first thing that came into my mind was DINOSAURS! recall watching jurassic park? yeah, it sounded exactly like dinosaurs having a hot orgasm in that movie. i wonder what were in the room and what were they doing.

second room: there's a huge transition between this room and the the previous. so followed up was a sharpest ever shrill of the century, which was probably of 20 thousand hertz. something you might not even hear if you take a trip down to a pig farm everyday.

third room: this was just what i needed after walking past the first and second room. the singing sounded as monotonous constant as tibetan holy chantings. oh dalai lama, how peaceful for my ears.

with these rubbish aside, i proceeded to my room to watch others sing because i couldn't read the sub-titles. i had only two chances to sing and i made full use of them by screaming my lungs off at the mike. i think i've beaten the three rooms mentioned above because rico who was in the toilet claimed to have heard my wonderful singing. that was ultra de-stressing. so do try out, it isn't that expensive. after watching numerous mtvs that they've picked, i realized there's a pattern in mando-pop mtvs. they all revolve around people running, couples making out, girls getting terminal illnesses, and stupid guys dying for them. i remember one where a retard held onto his shinai (kendo stick) and charged down the top of the building just because his girl's in a coma. and after landing like a curry-stained roti prata at the first storey, the girl wakes up suddenly to look for him. no comments, just...

lmao! out.

Durian fetish and Emo friday

it had been a rather long week.

first to begin with, we'll have rico and company's durian fetish!

it all started when rico discovered this genuine d-24 drink and decided to try it. soon, most of the gang started drinking it almost everyday and even generously brought the fragrance into our air-conditioned LTs and tutorial rooms. the fragrance however, were unwelcomed by people like stephanie and jia lin. they make a huge din about it, probably acting cute or seeking attention. i'm just kidding, but even mr son said it was just a drink, so... RELAX LA! and by the way, the usual drink isn't like how it looks in the picture. the one shown is an early-bird special.

Emo friday

now, look at these faces...

jay chou: sigh...

siti: arghhhhh!

jinxian aka dayang (look at his shirt): wo bu yao mei ren yu, wo yao zzzzzzzzzzzz...

farhana: i want to go home...

yit jing: wah lao eh... i slept for three hours only leh.

why are they like that? read on.

i reached school at 7.30am and was walking through the back gate when jinxian called. he told me that internet application lab was cancelled, just a few minutes ago. i went WHAT THE HELL! and made my way to yio chu kang mrt staion where all the sleepy heads gathered. everyone was pretty moodless as the next lesson only starts at one. that's five and a half hours! enough for me to go johor, say hi to my aunty and uncle and then rush back.

so after some discussion, we ended up in food junction to eat, drink, bum around, crack dirty jokes, read papers, play scissors-paper-stone, play handphone games and finally! it is nine-forty only. ughhh. we went to grassroots club to play the arcade machines. i like the safari game where you drive on a jeep to capture animals - liang teck's profession, as he works at night safari. by ten-thirty, we tried the pool hall which is supposed to be opened by eleven. liang teck psycho-ed the minah at the counter by telling her she's lonely and so, she allowed us in. this time for real, the clock struck one and we went for our lecture - to sleep of course.

Energy!

des and i came across this poster at some kbox and found it weird. so... what the heck is so energetic about/in this poster? where is the energy they promised? lol, by the way that's des' finger so energy fans, kill him if you want to, not me. people, you can try copying this picture and using editing tools, circle out the part which you think is energetic in red. this excludes the middle finger. mail in your entries to me and i'll select the most reasonable and convinving one to walk away with ONE-HUNDRED cents. entries with des' middle finger circled will be voided.

Twenty-day Spectacles Scheme

i made a trip down to bugis with high hopes that i'll recover my specs. okay, maybe i was lying to myself. jay chou was nice enough to accompany me while waiting for his friends to reach. he's there for some steamboat! lucky bastard! i went around the whole food court asking the auntys but all claimed they are honest people and that my specs were probably pocketed. at last, i went to the lost and found office for a last try and left in dissapointment.

i was pretty stoned today due to sleeping at three plus and waking at six plus yesterday morning. i was thinking of my poor specs. hope the person who took it gets sore eyes till christmas ends. yes i'm evil, but not enough to hope he'll go blind. besides missing my specs, i was drawing up twenty-day spectacles scheme which will be implemented on 10th, december 2005.

here's a rough brainstorm of my scheme.

• my objective is to get a little more than a hundred bucks by the end of the scheme.
• i'll give myself a twenty-day limit. however, it can be delayed because i'm the boss.

1. go on a hunger strike to save up more efficiently. meanwhile, cover up with a noble excuse, claiming that it's done as a protest to help raise funds for the needy in africa.
2. cut down pooling by seventy percent, or even a hundred if i can.
3. start working as a coffee boy during day and a pimp when night falls.
4. get a rifle off Toy 'R' us' shelf and plan a daylight robbery on some ulu bank, hopefully not getting my skull blasted to smithereens. yes, i'm a brick head.
5. 4-D
6. hang around noob pool salons and be a hustler.
7. go changi. you know, i know. i shan't elaborate.
8. print counterfeit banknotes.
9. design tickets labelled "George Bush's charity shield for third world countries" to scam.
10. TOTO

after making a thorough analysis, i've chosen plan #2. reasons to it, i don't want ending up losing any balls, going behind the bars and getting rotans, getting std, losing even more money or dying of hunger.

as a saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, i'm dropping a miserable five bucks into my piggy to mark the start of the scheme. anyway i doubt i'll accomplish it in twenty days. maybe look out for christmas offers so i pay lesser.

Emofied

SAD. fucking careless me left my specs at bugis food court. i ordered beef soup rice and took off my specs because of the steam. and without checking, i left it there and headed home. the food court was closing that time and wasn't crowded. pray hard that some nice aunty that clears the table keep it with the drinks stall. i'm gonna try my luck tomorrow. slim chance though. BOO. if not, i'll have to think of ways to get another pair, like saving up for twenty days, borrow cash, extort or robbing the bank.

my zen micro went crazy. during noon, it shuts down automatically after it's being swtiched on for five seconds and by evening, it doesn't want to shut down after being switched off. getting on my nerves. i tried to look for the warranty card today but found the slip which was given to me when i serviced it back then. i think it's one-time replacement only. ahhh well, gonna call and check it out.

with all the bad, here's a little good. i got a new graffiti-design wallet by myuk. now they design bags too. they're quite funky and some are old school. i'll get one if i can recover my poor lost specs.

there's two quizzes tomorrow and i haven't touched anything on it yet. hope it won't like fail badly. i'll turn in now and study during tomorrow's break.

out.

Victoria's Secret

sorry about the home-made video which i promised. i'm 'busy' and haven't got the cable to transfer video files from my phone to my computer. i just realized i'm way far back for maths after doing the e-quiz, which i scored 6/10. i've learnt nothing else except that my maths lecturer likes to stick his fingers between his buttons and scratch his tummy once in a while. focus, focus, FOCUS!

i'm now re-planning how my homepage for semestral project should be done. of course, half-heartedly. the other half's on chatting and listening to music. anyway this is funny! des misunderstood me during a discussion.

here goes the conversation...

Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
you got hear sonata arctica?
armor for sleep says:
winterheart's guild
armor for sleep says:
yeah
armor for sleep says:
i quite like victoria's secret
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
lol
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
why you say that
armor for sleep says:
not bad what.
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
ya la..
armor for sleep says:
the song noisy
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
eh>
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
i thought you talking abt underwear
Emodified Des -= You almost always pick the best time to drop the worst lines youve almost made me cry again this time says:
lol

it's really LOL! i know i'm unpredictable at times and switch topics with no prior warning but switching from a metal band to lingerie is ridiculous. BUT, blame the title of the song instead. who wouldn't have thought of that?

alright, time to get down to solid work and by the way, my computer's crashing anytime, boo.

Jimmy's Ass

i'm back, and back to school too. school's like getting more and more boring. hope some exciting projects (i doubt there are any which are exciting) will be out soon. let me bitch about my elective again. it's teaching bull - methods to remember things better. we watched this video which showed us how to FORCE ourselves to remember things visually. i'll draw an example.

it's rather damn silly but read on anyway. the video wants us to remember items in sequence by linking them together. watch.

pencil
eraser
jimmy
ass
operating room

now remember them in sequence by joining them up. here we go...

i saw a PENCIL with an ERASER at the end driven up JIMMY'S ASS and he was sent into an OPERATING ROOM.

i'm not sure if it works. i can't be bothered when we were asked to memorize using this FLAWLESS method. like try at home with more random words and reply on my tagboard if it works.

i've got a new phone, k7100i. it may sound old to you but i don't really care. phone companies can't make me buy their fresh-baked phones which are expensive. i'm a very patient person.

you gain something and you lose something. it's true. i got a phone and my zen micro fucked up terribly. it's behaving AS THOUGH IT OWNS ME INSTEAD OF ME OWNING IT!! it jumps to random tracks for no damn reason, switches to the fm radio as it likes and switches off automatically with no warning. and also, the socket for the ear-phones are screwed up once again. i just feel like flinging it right out of the window and letting it land at the void deck in a thousand pieces. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

i saw that pretty girl at north canteen today! =DDD

Help baygon

today was one of the worst day of my life. i was extremely traumatized by an unfortunate encounter, so much that my balls had probably shrunk by the power of five. i guess the depression hot-line in my previous entry finally came to use for me. the story unfolds.

this morning was smooth sailing until i had a tummy ache. with no delay, i made my way to the block N level two toilet for a fast game. the following was sighted when i reached for the toilet paper...
see that? IT'S THE WINGED INSECT THAT EXISTED SINCE PREHISTORICAL AGE TILL THIS VERY MOMENT, THE FREAKING COCKROACH!! the moment i pulled the toilet roll, it crawled upwards and disappeared into the dispenser again. from then onwards, my every single movement in that cubicle was made in anticipation - to dodge the insect at all cost. the roachie's a real bastard. it didn't wait for my pants to be up before posing a threat to me. when i was done and was about to exit the cubicle, the roach emerged from its base to challenge me. it crawled to the top of the dispenser and started wielding its feelers menacingly, like it was about to strike or pounce on me any second. i had two decisions in my mind. 1) attack 2) retreat. of course, being a peace lover, i retreated. after noticing that it isn't doing anything much, i pressed my body closely to the wall and strafed my way out of the cubicle. PHEW.

this suddenly reminded me of the ma-ia-hi ma-ia-hoo cockroach song by guo mui mui which sounds pretty much like a strangled chicken. it irks me to the core.

by the way, a short home video of mine featuring school will be up soon. so stay tuned.

Holishit

it's the third week of school and i'm still not tuned in yet. somehow, some part of my brain tells me it's still the holidays and i can lepak as i like. HELLO BOY! HOLI-YOUR-SHIT! time for work to be done. anyway i sort of promised my dad straight B+s. so i'd better get to some work this week. i was so bored during lecture today that i fell asleep and drooled more than a gallon. the mr chai guy is'nt that entertaining but well, school is'nt a circus right. the staffs are not instructed to clown around like son wei meng. today, my class supposed to have an hour of e-learning for digital electronics but the lecturer let us off after thirty minutes. reason to it, he actually wanted to end our suffering. he thought most of us looked like we were trapped in a torture chamber. true indeed, some stared at the screen blindly like he's brain-washed and some had the depression-state facial expression. i feel a little sad for the lecturer so... erm, i'm gonna try pwn this module (it seems more complicated than electronic fundamentals which i scored B+.) by the way, back to depression, i've got something to share that may benefit the whole sunny island. if you feel lost and feel like crying all the time, you might be in a depression and if you think you do, try MUST call this hot-line: 1800-223-1313. maybe some guy like vincent ma will pick up the call and listen to your sorrows but i'm not sure. do call anyway.

oh yes, mr son said the wrong things during lessons today. he kindly reminded us that the programming we did for the past three weeks were just peanuts and crackers (once again, definitely not durai's peanut if you are wondering). he warned that we gonna go hardcore next week. ROFL! it sounded terribly wrong and horny rico shouted, "BRING WHIP AND HANDCUFFS!". son gave a weird disgusted expression at first but suddenly and accompanied by cheeky grin, he added, "bring chain also." lolol, alright let's move out of this explicit topic immediately. and if you don't find this whole chunk explicit, don't bother to find out why. i repeat, DON'T BOTHER TO FIND OUT WHY!

so finally, i shall close this entry with a quote. it goes:
"it's always in some way a virtue to remain innocent."

as innocent as bryan chen my old little friend perhaps. he secretly told me in his mousey voice that he only gonna include "fuck" in his dictionary of vocabulary at the age of eighteen. so it'll be a year later untill little bryan goes around swearing fuck at everyone. beware, you might be his next victim.

out.

Graphic Artist

looking at my previous entry, i realized i wasn't in a clear state of mind while typing it out but anyway, don't bother. i became a little sick after that and rested home the whole weekend. boring, punch match with kc was postponed. don't ask me why am i online now . i've got no clue.

just a short update on the opening of the week. i was sleepy as usual and caught no ball during c programming lecture. in actual fact, i saw no ball (my eyes were almost shut), so how to catch eh? i'm starting to miss miss benita's personal development lessons. my current lecturer for elective isn't anywhere close to her in terms of being an interesting speaker. let me think why... maybe he's too formal? or maybe he's restricted by the subject? drop that, i'm too lazy to think. our creative task today was to make the maximum number of half-folds we could on a sheet of paper. that's quite lame, lamer than the egg-protector project (for personal-development.) but fair enough, we were let off earlier by thirty minutes, i shan't complain.

the c programming lab later in the afternoon was kind of easy. i wasn't as blur as when i first learned java. all the practical questions were done in less than forty-five minutes and the rest of the time was spent fooling around and communicating with our dear c programming educator informally (the mr son guy which you will see his picture later on). by the way he's hilarious, as compared to the rest of the lecturers at least. he opened up the class messenger thingie and projected it on the screen again.

out of pure boredom, i decided to showcase my artistic talent.

first, i drew a rock-sign which is overused by sir sylvester sim. next, i decided to draw mr son! it looks rather like him but looking at his response, he doesn't really seem pleased. maybe the strokes weren't that tidy but everyone know it's him. i was using the mouse to draw by the way.

an urge randomly hit me. i want to go for a date on the weekends! i don't know why am i feeling like this since an hour ago. okay, maybe i haven't been dating for one, two, three... ermm, seven to eight months? ms ng, my previous lecturer didn't believe that when i told her i didn't date for quite some time. she went, "HAHA, my toes are laughing." maybe she was hinting me but i didn't get it at that time, ROFL BULLSHIT.

Asshole! in a game's context

it's the weekends again. it've been a rather long week due to the new timetable and a really long day at school today. we had a damn four-hour break for all the gods' sake. that was because some two hour lecture was cancelled. back then, we complained about two-hour breaks. four hours' crazy, and to make it sound worse, all the waiting was for a thirty-five minute briefing. that goes into my own book of guinness record under the LONGEST WAIT. of course not ranked first, which was marked by my one of my exes but yes, try waiting. you'll might simply sink into a depression and soon wanting to slash your wrist to end the long four-hour wait. alright, that was exaggerated.

we actually had a plan to kill time. it was pooling at grassroot club but sadly, liang decided to flaunt his billabong slippers and the security guard stopped us. he went by the rules and didn't give a shit whether it is a billabong, trial or tat sing slippers. so out we went. the rest of the break was spent sleeping in the library. nyp should build something like a nap area with hammocks seriously. everytime i enter the library (to sleep), there seem to be a high demand for a sleeping area. why not give students better rest and so they can learn more efficiently?

finally the long wait and briefing was over. i went over to yt's with aug and des. we boredphucks had loads of fun playing this four-fighter game with characters made up of celebrities like sean paul and other rappers. we choose this subway environment to fight and after getting a little bored, we made our own rule which was fighting on the tracks. the objective was to get your opponents squashed by the train which passes randomly. how saddistic but we thought it was funny in some way (e.g pulling someone down the track and hopping up to the platform, dodging when your opponent tries to pounce on you from the platform while you are on the track.) any stated way will result in your opponent getting run over by the train and looking like the patty in your favourite mc donald's big breakfast meal. yum.

we played 'asshole', before we left. it is like daidee but there's king, queen, servant and asshole ranks given to the four players. the winner becomes the king and of course, losing makes you an asshole. being the asshole is really humiliating. the king gets to sit on the big throne-like chair and the asshole will have to sit beside the king on a low stool. worse, he has to squat down and shuffle/deal the cards and also pour the liqour everytime someone passes. yt was the biggest asshole and was suan-ed badly by all of us.

it's kinda of abrupt to stop here but i'm tired and gonna turn in soon.

out.

Dr. Jekyll's and Mr. Hyde's grandson(s)

today's the first day of the semester and unfortunately, i slept only for an hour the night before due to a wrecked body clock. i got an early sms from diane who is having her holidays now and thought she woke up early to message me that she's still slumped in bed just to spite me. i was wrong. she had to wake up as early as me to do her pw, HAHA. that made me felt a thousand times much better but still screwed.

we had four hours of lessons by the same guy. let me introduce *drum roll* SON! oops, i meant mr son. he's lamely funny, possesses facial expressions similar to russell peters' and talks with the least bit of relevance at times. okay, i forgot about the main point. he teachs us c programming. this will go on for the next decade if i am to narrate his attempts to entertain us with his teaching style. getting on with life, i'll leave that for after retirement. anyway i was so tired that i yawned till i teared and my jaw snapped out twice. when his lesson was about to end, i had a sudden urge to beat him in lameness and messaged him "CALL ME FATHER!" on the class chat thingy, which was on the projector screen. idiot, jinxian flooded him with HAHAs and emoticons and so he didn't get to see that.

i've got stuffs to announce. CREATIVE THINKING AND PROBLEM SOLVING is really really very fucking extremely creative when it came to group activities. leaving that to the last, he started the lesson off with inventions. i slept and woke several times and he was still explaining each invention with maxed enthusiasm. try to imagine how much he went through. from *INHALE* chimpanzees eating termites, to a teeny weeny little stone hammer at nomad age, to the rise of civilizations, to ghenghis khan and his grandson kubalai khan conquering from china to europe... (insert any shit found in your history text) ... and finally to the first man leaving his footprint on the moon. *EXHALE* history lessons aside, we finally got to do some group activity. the topic was to act, speak or dress like a celebrity and making others guess. huisheng and jaychou was in my group and we named ourselves 'we actually can think'. we slacked during discussion and when asked to act, we stoned for a moment. huisheng kept telling me his english sucks (no link eh, you can swear in hokkien and pose as mark lee right?) and jaychou had the i-rather-fail-than-go-act face. see, i've got no choice and had to go. with sadako, william hung, superman and all the bunch of commons acted out, i wringed my brains for a unique idea. *snap fingers* let's get political! and so i acted as t.t durai with his golden tap and potty. not bad, for that i've got two points. thirteen more and i'll pass.

"oi, you teaching creative thinking or drama?"

i'll sum up this entry with a new sighting. i previously saw this guy around school wearing a so-hardcore inverted cross chain on his neck. nothing wrong to me, maybe to the christians but i am not here judge. this is what i saw today. listen up yo? i saw the same guy at food junction and he has got a big holy crucifix across his neck this time. LOL? don't get it? here's a metaphor.

it's like someone saying...
"hey, i have a penis"
and after a few seconds, he changes his mind.
"sorry, but i think i have a vagina"
and finally, he confirms.
"actually, i have both!"

alright, i'm so full of shit. goodnight.

Queen of England

i went sengkang's pizza hut for lunch and noticed they have some new company policy namely, bowing before customers. at first, this really young waiter bowed to me. i thought: this boy who looks fifteen must be a noob working during the holidays. noobs probably show more respect to their customers. but after meeting the other waiters/waitresses, i guess it must be some sort of new etiquette. they all bowed to me like i'm the queen of england sultan of temasek. before i left, they all bowed again, a forty-five-degree bow. maybe it was due to the drop in ranking of singapore's customer service. anway, that was why i quit kendo back then. 1) i went there with friends. 2) i never liked it one bit. 3) they made me bow to the school crest and kneel-bow to the trainer.

oh yes before i forgot, some rather new counter girl at pj asked for desmond's and kc's id. rofl x 3. now, desmond became emofied.

check out the pack of trishaws around bugis and middle road. they are cooler than jay chou's initial-d racing car. they are heavily modified with neons, LEDs, surround sound speakers, sub-woofers and one even had a redundant exhaust pipe.

school's starting tomorrow. gah.

boo. i made my way down to as far as toa payoh and found out that the two basketball courts were occupied, one by taichi and the other by people playing friendly matches. some how, the friendly matches isn't that friendly. i was a little pissed that darren didn't tell me the courts are full. we noobies had to shoot a few hoops when the two teams happened to be attacking and defending at the other side. imagine the ball i shot hits the rim and bounced off to the other end causing some confusion. i'll be fucked. so after shooting a few, i gave up and sat down to watch. it was quite an exciting show. there's a group of china players and among them, there's a fair muscular guy who was half naked and was wearing a thick gold chain. it looks very inappropriate but well, maybe it's his only asset kept with him before leaving china and was instructed not to lose it. the lights went out by ten and i made my way home.

i bumped into way liang, my ex-classmate and chatted with him on the train. he's the man, rofl. 'o' levels on next monday and he was out playing basketball earlier on. didn't that make him the real bad boy? good luck and all friend.

i by-passed saint andrew's village and saw that their swimming pool is already up. olympic size though but WHO THE HECK WITH A SANE MIND DARES TO SWIM IN IT?! people of 3 schools crowding in a swimming pool makes it a pond instead. i might try to get a job as a life-guard there but guess i will be bore out in no time. i mean, which girl would dare to take a dive with sas and sajs?

off to pj.

monday night, i got the honour of going out with four girls, muahaha. anyway, breaking news here so listen up. jasmine was wearing a skirt. let me repeat. JASMINE, WORE AN APPAREL, KNOWN AS A SKIRT! you're way to go man.

we planned to go newton for some food and walk there from scotts. when we reached, it was closed. what the hell! tourist attraction closed on the eve of a public holiday? maybe it was renovating. we finally settled with the idea esplanade and hopped onto a bus which took us there. we ordered oyster omelette and sambal stingray. after that, yve and me were broke but happy. food is one of the things that makes the world go round right? opposite our table were this young lady and a rather old man. there's only two of them and they had more than five dishes on their table. on the other hand, we had five people and two dishes. poor we. their eating style tickled us so much that i choked on the chilli. they looked like they were venting out by eating.

we bummed around and played cards as it rained. up next, i joined solikin for pool at pj and was forced to bunk over his place by the heavy rain.

moodless.

Assassin ninja wannabe

a friend introduced me an online buying site and it's real hilarious shit, oh to me at least. so much that i LOL-ed for the whole night while surfing it till 6am. i've got no clue whether it is legal. so let me declare that:
1) no part of this entry is advertising the products shown for real
2) this entry is not created to defame the featured company
3) this entry is created only for one thing, fun

to begin here, i present http://www.tbotech.com/ which markets self defence products.

Stun Master pretty young ladies out there, you might need to carry this in your prada or lv handbag. it costs 80 bucks but protects your chastity from big bad wolves. it has got a warranty of life-time too. check it out, it is good investment.

WildFire Pepper Spray

this is yet another useful self defence tool that is highly effective. however, i think it crossed the line of self defence. read on.

WildFire pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. It will induce coughing, choking and nausea, as well as dilating the eye capillaries resulting in temporary blindness. The mucous membranes will swell to prevent all but life support breathing causing the assailant to be temporarily incapacitated. A one second burst of WildFire pepper spray will stop an attacker for up to 45 minutes without causing permanent damage. Both sprays have 6-10 one second bursts and the effective range is 8-10 feet.

am i right? it's more of you attacking the assailant. you would have done more damage to the snatch-thief than he did to you if he's just intending to snatch your purse that holds thirty-five dollars. rofl pwned. poor thief.

after browsing on, i began to realize MOST of the products sold have actually crossed the line. the following products have almost no linkage with self defence.

what does this look like? some toy sold at three-for-ten dollars at the pasa malam? NO! it's a fucking rifle crossbow for your info. oh buddha! crossbow = self defence? i thought crossbow = ancient war/hobby. i mean, with advanced technologies, we don't carry crossbows around in poly and blast off some aggressive beng's head right?

ah, yes. and if you insist on getting a crossbow though you can't fucking aim, here's an aid for you. please do not go "OH DAMN, IT'S FIFTEEN DOLLARS!" spare a thought for others. your mere fifteen bucks could save innocent lives.

Havok

i LOVE this to the core. sexy isn't it? so much that i figured out how i could buy it. imagine whizzing around town like a super hero ninja and showering a sky of ninja stars on the baddies. the hero will go broke or something. about 12 bucks for a star. i think it is more cost efficient to buy a revolver and a dozen of magazines.

anyway i can't throw stars for nuts. maybe i'll get these cheaper ones for a start.

Ninja Climbing Set
check out the ninja foot spikes, hand claws and grappling hook. it's so LOL. who in this urban city needs that? equipped with that, maybe i can get into istana within a few leaps and say HELLO to mr s r nathan. (: see, having all these self defence weapons and gadgets, WHO NEEDS TO PLAY MAPLE STORY? WHO NEEDS TO BE AN ASSASSIN IN ORDER TO THROW STARS? rofl.

and by the way, i saw the above at the bottom of the webpage. WHOA! supported by major credit cards, meaning high chance that it's legal. peeps, get your defence gadgets into the cart today!

Other products
-tasers
-bear sprays
-pepper spray rings
-maces
-voice changers
-handcuffs
-police batons

enjoy.

Monday blues + 10 hours in school = ?

i've checked out my new timetable for the semester. at first i was kind of happy because i saw the right-most column blank and thought friday's an off. but awww, it's the saturday column actually. so with no delay, i had a quick glance through it to see how unlucky can i get.

monday, 8 am to 6 pm with two hours of break. OI! TEN HOURS?! I GO KINDERGARTEN FOR TWO HOURS PLUS, SECONDARY SCHOOL FOR ABOUT FIVE HOURS. NOW POLY TEN HOURS, UNI TWENTY HOURS IS IT? okay la, luckily it isn't everyday.

i hope the lab lesson in between the two breaks is not compulsory. this way, i can nap or go somewhere to bum around. i know school's on, we as students should start studying or even look like we are studying BUT BUT BUT, i have five hours of the same lecturer, four to c programming and one to semester project. pray hard the lecturer isn't boring or confusing because i think c programming is similar to java programming in some way.

anyway, after all these shit above its tuesday! where school starts at 3.10pm and ends at 6pm. meaning... AFTER LESSONS ON MONDAY CAN PARTY! aiya, but who can party with me? boo.

wednesday and thursday isn't as bad as an armageddon but yes, friday again is a ten-hour day at school with eight hours of lessons. thinking on the bright side, maybe those e-learning and self-learning aren't compulsory. okay, chuck these aside and enjoy the last 7 days.

by the way, the traffic police suspended my dad from driving for three months. isn't that bad but he has got to attend some course costing $73.50. some course at east coast road safety park a maybe? seventy-three dollars and fifty cents? good business huh.

We hit the roads once again

hi, i'm back from road trip 2005 (part 2) this morning and have brought back some pictures as i promised. wonder why do we go for such trips to get tired, dirty and muscule strains? we ourselves don't know why but after pondering, we came up with 3 reasons to it.

1) we are adventurous people with relatively big balls.
2) cycling within east coast park = wuss.
3) once in a while, we just have to remind ourselves how damn lucky we are to have public transport, unlike in some countries, africa for instance, where people walk to and fro the sahara desert barefooted.

the roadtrip unfolds.

at 9 plus, desmond and I cabbed to ecp first to grab a few bikes before the rental shops closes for the day. we took new bikes with acceptable suspension and it was quite cheap; 8 bucks for each for overnight. the rental shop ah ma was so nice that i wanted to call her grandma. she borrowed us flashing lights and a big chain lock. (we were stupid for this once, taking the flashing lights as reflectors and kept complaining why the heck no light was reflected from it for the first 2 checkpoints.)

allow me to advertise for this shop for quality services.

the owner told us that we need not return the bikes personally if we were too tired by then.

retarded. the 'reflectors' could only be seen when flash was used.

darren and johny reached slightly later and at around 10, zak the king joined us. we labelled him hero because he can cycle from balestier to ecp in merely 10 minutes. besides that, he cuts the traffic like tofu. beat that both. he's the real bad boy since he still joined us though there's school for him tomorrow.

presenting zak the king, who's only 15 and has attained superb biking tactics like cutting buses.

check point #1: how romantic
we left ecp and zak lead us down to kallang waterfront. the scenery by the river at night was nice but no pictures. i don't risk getting unwanted attention, like being interviewed by mediacorp for publishing unhealthy materials. xiaxue did, see?

check point #2: the greatest fall of all time
in the future for your safety, never listen to emo while cycling. i repeat. NEVER LISTEN TO EMO WHILE CYCLING. i was listening to the song 'the greatest fall of all time' and that's it. whamp! and i got it.

while gunning down the park connector beside esplande, i skidded on some mud and my bike was flung 10 metres. i was thrown foward 20 metres like a bean bag and landed safely, in a pool of crimson blood.



OKAY, kidding. i wouldn't be blogging here and would be knocking on heaven's door instead if that had happened. actually, i was speeding down the park connector and had a rather bad fall after my front wheel skidded on a blob of mud. i lay on the pavement waiting for the pain to cease before i got up again.

my elbow wasn't spared.

my limbs aren't spared either.

the greatest fall of all time indeed. my mum did NOT abuse me for your info.

but thinking on the bright side, i was kind of relieved because... heaven wasn't harsh on my balls!!! luckily i was thrown off the bike a little. else daddy would have lost 50% chances of getting grandchildren.

the last thing i saw before i fall.

sorry, but for some damn reason, blogger doesn't allow me to upload more pics. i'll continue in the next post.

continued

YAY! can upload pics again. oh ya, and by the way, here was roughly when we dumbos realized there's a switch behind the rumoured 'reflector'. it's a flashing light after all!

this was under a bridge, where i rested after the fall and where zak fell asleep.

so dark. thankfully no extra freaky kawaii-neh-glare-upwards head popped in.

oi! fall down already, still can smile?

our little friend.

check point #3: singapura, oh singapura
this is just a little down the road. in fact, it supposed to be check point #2 if i didn't fall. with renewed vigour, the injured man hopped onto his bike and we cycled down to merlion park, a memorable place to lepak. this was when the pain sets in. ouch. it didn't hurt as much when i just fell, but no sweat. that is what it takes to be a man, LOL. we lay on the stone steps by the singapore river and gazed at the stars. suddenly, we felt lame and mimiced the bangla prank call. rofl. darren's obsessed with geylang or something. he kept repeating, "next stop go geylang leh!" for 324589073425 times.

i love singapore.

this is the platform above the river at merlion park.
i dated with a girl at the very spot where the light is 2 years ago.
the fluorescent was fused back then. hah.

check point #4: pool junction
after finishing our lame jokes for the moment, we headed for geylang pool juntion at middle road. it drizzled suddenly and we sped up to reach our checkpoint. we went for a quick prata bite at the indian mama and proceeded to pj to pot a few balls since the drizzle turned heavier.

check this out if you play pool.

check point #5: darren's geylang!
the rain stopped and we headed for darren's favourite! finally, we found out that he isn't that desperate. he just wanted to go geylang because there's some ramadan pasa malam going on and there's loads of food being sold. we all felt cheated. we reached there by 3am and this is what we saw...

dissapointment, like my results.

damn it. the rain actually stopped for a half-time break before it went into play again. we took shelter at some 24-hour mc donald's and waited for the full-time whistle.

check point #6: random
despite the rain, we felt that we shouldn't delay any more and braved the rain since it wasn't that heavy. we cycled towards town in search of 24-hour food areas. zak parted with us there and we continued looking for food. we found a mc donald's at lido and swensens at crown prince hotel. of course, we took the economy one.

i'm lovin' it.

we rested and planned the timing and route for our last 2 check points.

check point #7: the forbidden route
it's all decided here. we'll make a quick return by entering the the highway nearby. sorry, no pics here. it was 5.10am already and we couldn't delay anymore as the traffic will get heavier soon. with heavier traffic, it's also likely that we get booked by the coppers. by the way, it's an $80 fine each if we got caught. on reaching the entrance of the highway, we switched off our flashing lights and pushed our bikes up to the peak.

check point #8: the grand final
we helped each other's bike over the highway barrier and got ready for the free roller coaster ride. off we went downslope! that was the 'highest' part of the whole trip. we bolted down and reached the exit of the highway in one single piece. praise all the gods! for this is a multi-religion nation. after all the thrill, we travelled a rather long route back to OUR HOLY LAND, ecp mc donald's! it was 6.10am by then, exactly an hour after leaving from lido's mc donald's.

check point #9: home sweet home
we had breakfast and chatted till when the bicylce shop was about to be opened. this was the last time we had to get on a bicycle for the day. we cycled back to the bicycle shop to return the bikes. getting onto the bicycle seat after resting for so long was a torture! it's similar to having a 30mm-diameter-iron-nail up your ass in case you don't know. the last check point was travelled to by cab. how lucky are we.

damn the mud blob. now, simply taking off my shirt could make me curse and swear a thousand times.

complaints aside, we all look forward to road trip 2006!!

Ahlemak! here comes mr MUTHU!

i have the weirdest nightmare, trust me. do share yours with me if you think yours is even weirder. these usually occur after heavy suppers. weeks back, i had one about being chased by a dinosaur. that really sucks, there you are running like hell for your life and the dino catches up within several steps.

okay, now the real thing. i actually laughed at some parts although it's a nightmare. this is how it went. i was an assassin for no damn reason and was assigned to kill somebody in SA but i didn't know who or can't remember. my mission partner is really out of blue. he's some primary school friend that i haven't seen for ages and i didn't know why the hell he appeared in my dream. the worse part was carrying the gun, in singapore especially. we disguised ourselves as students of the school and searched the building for don't-know-who. finally, i chickened and out also preached to my partner some buddha scriptures that killing is wrong. here comes the funny part, probably to sa students only. we were at the 4th level around breaktime, thinking of how will we have our weapons disposed and mr muthu the discipline master happened to be on patrol duty.

"oi, the two boys over there. don't pretend not to see me and stay put."
facing me he said, "you, from 4st is it? i'll tell gordon goh about it."

oh christ, he actually remembered me and is going to complain to gordon goh, damn! next, we were brought to the yellow box (the place for the naughty boys to stand in) and i finally woke up after standing for some time.

remember boys, you are liable to be sent down to the yellow box for loitering around classroom blocks during break time yo.

Bat me out please.

i'm rotting. i was trying to sleep since 12.30am and failed terribly. the past 2 hours, almost 3 was spent listening to my mp3 hoping i can fall asleep.

there's only about 2 weeks plus to the new semester and i'm dreading it. it has got nothing to do with school but just the timing. i hate the waking up part. i want to have a road trip before school starts. the last one was so damn fun. taking a bike on the highways all over singapore and finally stopping at jalan kayu, the 'holy' land for supper. in case you are wondering, it's bicycle and not motorbike. bike just sounds nicer. if there gonna be a road trip, i promise pictures to be up.

now i'm hungry again. i'm craving for xiao long bao from ding tai feng, laksa from jalan berseh and marche. drooling already? off to raid the refrigerator.

Twenty-six-pointer

dad just received a letter from the traffic police which looks like this.

26/24. wow, dad exceeded the maximum marks. now this is bad. the letter states that he will have his driving license suspended for less than 3 years. he needs to drive to work and somtimes drive around while working. how inconvenient. all jay chou's fault. my dad seemed to pick up speeding since initial-d was out.

of course, being in a democractic nation like singapore, we are given choices. not much though, just like the president election.

A) have the driving license surrendered after 14 days.
B) give explanations on why the driving license should not be suspended.

well, i wonder how many offenders did not have their license suspended after the officials have read them. or worse, a 7 year-old kid who is paid $3.55 an hour is assigned to collect all these appeal letters from the mail box and stuff it down the paper shredder repeatedly. okay, maybe it isn't that bad. now, it's time to think about how the letter should be written.

LETTER 1
to whom it may concern:
hello there. i'm 60 years old this year and my sons are not married. please be magnanimous and do not suspend my driving license.

LETTER 2
to whom it may concern:
greetings to my beloved traffic policemen who have braved dangers to preserve peace and uphold the law for the past decade or so. today, i am here to reason out why my driving license should not be suspended.

firstly, i would like to mention the quote "country before self". i'm sure you know what i mean. if you don't, spare me a few seconds to point out to you. i need a vehicle to work efficiently, so that i can contribute to the annual gross domestic product. in other words, let me draw you an equation for clearer understanding: me not working efficiently = drop in country's gdp. i'm sure you wouldn't want the nation's gdp to drop even by 0.001 just because of a blue collar worker like me.

secondly, i'm speaking of being infleunced. i'm sure that all of us know that since god/nuwa/allah/lord krishna (choose accordingly to your religion) put life on earth, each individual's way of living was influenced by one or another in some way. by now, you should have guessed i'm talking about initial-d, the racing movie by jay chou, edison chen and a few more. with the entire nation going gaga over initial-d, HOW CAN MY VEHICLE STILL BE CRAWLING LIKE A SNAIL!? i mean i just exceeded the limit by 30km/h at most. didn't even try drifting on any part of cte, pie and tpe.

lastly, i would like to address on the offence "failing to conform to red light signal..." it contributed 12 demerit points and i think it is way too much. i merely followed behind a ten-tonner truck with a huge ass, so huge that it blocked out my entire view, including the traffic light. the next second, when everything gets in view again, all i saw was a red traffic light followed by a flashlight which caught me 'red-handed'. whose fault was it? is it the traffic light being too low, the truck being way too huge or i was just unlucky?

...

i was too lazy to end the letter. anyway, these letters are purely for killing time and nothing else. they harbour no ill-intentions of opposing the traffic laws nor the government and are just products of a 17 year-old kid who is bored during his vacation. if any dear government officials happen to stumble upon these, please be merciful and do not sue him. thank you.

I want taiwan

vampires must be the loneliest freaks in world, much more than shamim, some outcast in my secondary school and last but not least, akon with his favourite song. i am sort of experiencing it now due to a screwed body clock. it's hell silent here at night.

i've slept the whole day, except for 2 hours of gaming and the meals. i was woken by the noise from the television at midnight and wondered when will be the next time i'll be sleeping again. somebody bat me out please?

i'm JEALOUS of yi ting, a good friend of mine whose name confused the blur teachers because it is similar to mine. this is out of point, so ignore it and move on to why i'm jealous. he flew back to taiwan for holiday and instead of missing us good old friends, this is what he got...

millions of shops, colourful streetlights, pretty babes, cosy apartment, liquor, delicious delicacies, old school stuffs and 120 channels on the damn tv.

jealous already? don't worry, you've got me at least. yt gets everything stated above, i get peanuts and unfortunately, NOT t.t durai's peanuts. i think half of his peanut can buy everything in my house. i'm gonna bug yt for a souvenir. that crazy ass told me he might pon poly to have his extended holiday. lucky shit.

now i'm bored. i mean i'm bored since i woke up. so much that i tried to freak myself out with the pranks at liquidgeneration. cheap thrill huh? some are so-not-scary. in fact most are not. usually, a dumb face pops into the screen accompanied by lots of screaming which sound like a lousy screamo band. anyway, if you do check out the site, go under games and try the card trick. do approach me if you are still fooled by a the 'evil man' after a million tries.

i better get out of the house for some fun tomorrow. next, i'll stuff myself with lots of food and try to get sleep. no nightmares please.

my last words: I WANT TO GO TO TAIWAN!

Apologies

i'm feeling DAMN bad.

i just made some girl sad/angry/whatever.

this was what happened. upon 10, i rated some other girl she asked me to, higher than her by some. she got sad over that to the extent of not wanting to talk to me, which i hope is only for the moment please. girls are complicated eh?

i better keep my fucking mouth shut when it comes to comparison betweens girls next time. GAH!

The emo kids are out

another boring, lonely friday night. rofl.

i met up with kc and gang at dhoby gaut station at around 9.30 having a bad feeling that nothing much can be done this night. i was right indeed. i rang up pool junction for table reservation and this sweet voice told me i'll be put on the loooooooooooooooong waiting list, so long that she haven't call me back now, where i'm already in the comfort of home.

up next, we tried labyrinth and pool fusion with fail. kc suggested klassic but that place do not allow slippers while two of the gang were wearing them.

my desperation for some fun lead me to drawing up a flawless plan to enter klassic:
1) we have 5 guys, 3 with shoes and 2 without.
2) 3 of us with shoes will enter the pool hall and get a table and the far end, far away from the counter.
3) 2 idiots will remove their stinky shoes and the remaining guy will bring out the shoes.
4) the 2 morons out there will put on the shoes and the 3 of them will join in.

how retarded, but it was already 12 plus and we were too damn lazy to move our asses, even by an inch. we all have already lost the pooling climate and ended up lepak-ing outside nafa. we thought of getting beer but not a trace of alcohol could be found in the two mama-shops we went. weird, maybe they got raided or something. we emo kids sat and watched people passing by as it's the only thing that entertained us more than watching our toe nails grow.

the midnight charge had already started and it would be a waste to cab home for doing nothing. so we had no choice but to go the sucky pool hall at paradiz. i shall not elaborate on the environment but here's a clue. it's a place that no one normally can get me to go to, even though i'm threatened with a double-barrelled shotgun. but tonight was an exception, i went bonkers.

we left at 1 plus and decided to visit the toilet at the singapore pools collection center. this was when, one of the most exciting happenings occured to twist the lonely night. guess what? we saw a naked couple humping on each other vigorously, emitting moans and groans which echoed through the cold empty washroom, sounding like huge dinosaurs mating.









turned on? aha, FOOLED!

okay, bullshit aside. we saw this man with his belt unbuckled and pants unzipped slumped across the floor. whoa, another murder scene for a triple-9 episode i thought but no, its just some stupid drunkard who collasped while peeing. how dumb, he'll be bloody embarrassed the next morning, finding out he was drown in his own pee when the toilet cleaner wakes him up. after aaron snapped a few highly-artisitc pictures of him, we left to cab home.

i'm fungry. so much that i wanted to rob the mc donald's delivery rider when it whizzed past my cab.

Drink GAIN IQ!

i've checked out what elective i'm posted to and its some problem solving and creative thinking skills poop. this a yet another reason for me to go party. please note that i'm NOT dying to get into that course because i'm not creative or i can't think. there's only ONE damn reason to it - this is the only non-examinable module i can choose. i don't want to risk doing badly or failing foreign languages, so there. but once again, can creativeness be taught? i thought only drinking gain milk powder can increase your creativeness.
being a good boy who wants good results, i hacked into the school server and obtained a test paper for that module. i assume that we gonna be tested on that so fellow MIT students, here is the test paper.

blogspot isn't generous enough to upload it in actual size. i shall be nice and type out the questions for you guys. thank me?

Question 1
a) How do you drive a straw into a potato? (4 marks)
b) State another method of doing it. (2 marks)

Question 2
How do you balance a book on a piece of vanguard sheet? (4 marks)

Question 3
Xiao Ming started using MSN messenger and uses "Xiao Ming" as his nick. After sometime, he found it very dull. You are his friend. State what you can do to help him. (5 marks)
*IMPORTANT! 5 MARKS!

being a nicer guy than i normally am today, i have decided to give you all the answers so you can mug in advance. do give me a treat or two if you score an A or Distinction for this module 6 months later.

Answers

Qn1
a) hold the straw like how your counter-terrorist model in CS holds his dagger. using your thumb, cover one end of the straw. now, aim and stab the potato.
if you are creative enough, the straw will penetrate your potato deeply. hur.

b) instead of stabbing the potato like most boring peeps will do, do it otherwise. cover one end of the straw with your thumb and hold it tight. next, slam the potato towards the straw!
always remember that there's more than one way of doing things.

Qn2
fold the vanguard into a structure which looks like this from side-view.
/\/\/\/\/
the bends provide more support and therefore, even a thick dictionary can be balanced on the vangaurd.

Qn3
teach Xiao Ming how to beautify his nick using capital and small letters, asterisks, slashs, numbers and other symbols which doesn't mean anything at ALL.
e.g. `~*/~'''{xIa0-_-mInGxXx}'''~\*~`
this can be done in a trillion ways and lecturers will accept them as the right answer.

that's all folks, mug hard and don't let yourself and your parents down.

Wah lao eh! five marks also kay gao

okay, good morning. its bloody early for me now and following will be reasons to why the hell am i up at this time. somebody told me that results gonna be out at 12 midnight sharp and its bullshit. i stayed till almost 4 and decided to just sleep with no fear. about 7.30 just now, i woke up due to anxiety stress the suspense i'm being kept in.

like earlier on in the morning, i carefully typed in my admin number and password, just this time, ready to strike the monitor or keyboard if the screen shows messages like 'no results yet.' then, i hit the key of fate, which is 'enter' in disguise. following, it shown this message: attention all NS eligible students, if you are still pursu... sometimes, i just feel like evolving into a huge giant and kick the school. can't they just show the damn results? every guy will be thinking about if they passed or scored at that moment, not when will they be camouflaged in leaves and carrying a gun. i had to clicked 'OK' for it to go away and finally, i saw the real thing, something i had always both wanted, and didn't want to see.

guess what? what i saw made me screammmmm. so loud that anyone within 10km radius could have heard it. beloved seng kang and hougang residents, if you do hear anything close to a man being stabbed in the balls, you've got my sincere apologies for that. drama aside, this i what i saw.

MULTIMEDIA COMPUTER ------------------- B+
JAVA PROGRAMMING ----------------------- B+
DIGITAL MEDIA & DESIGN ------------------ A
ELECTRONICS FUNDAMENTALS ------------ B+
MATHEMATICS 1 ----------------------------- C
COMMUNICATION SKILLS ------------------- B
SEMESTRAL PROJECT 1 ---------------------- Pass
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT ------------------ B+

fuck, the B+s could have been As. its just a mere less than 5%.

multimedia computer: thinking back, i knew where i lose marks. project and the final papers. only 4 of 5 questions that i spotted appeared. those peeps, you'll know who you are. WHERE IS MY MARCHE?!

java programming: i was ambushed by the debugging section, managing only to find 2 out of 10 errors. that's 16 marks down the kallang drain for buddha's sake.
















digital media design: my project really saved my ass. i typed out all my notes the night before like all other papers and LOL, like what i always told my brother. lie on the bed study, falling asleep within 5 minutes. next morning wake up, panick.

electronic fundamentals: the whole course was very smooth sailing till the common test. screw the person whose handphone vibrated throughout the whole paper. alright, the sentence before this is just a consolation.

mathematics 1: i'm glad that i survived this nuclear explosion. i didn't know how or why, so probably, the only explaination is that many failed for that. moderation works wonders.
















communication skills: good enough, B shows that i'm an average communicator

semester project: there's only 2 outcomes and i knew its a pass from the very start. hope the project wins me a prize too! pray hard it gonna be something like a laptop (dream on) and not anything close to peanuts and crackers.

personal development: DAMN! i expected an A or even distinction for this! for all the effort i've put in, i've got only a B+. but this course is really bullshit. it required me to do stupid things like making devices that protect eggs from 4-storey falls. it helped me to improve my pool techniques though. want to bum around? select pd for your elective.

speaking of elective, i hope they assign me to the creative thinking and problem solving module because i heard it involves neither thinking nor creativity. pray hard that they will NOT chuck me into a language class that teaches 'bonjour' or 'kawaii neh'. still, i've a strong feeling i'll get posted into the maths enrichment class.

alright, i want to sleep. basketballing under darren's healthy lifestyle programme later.