Assassin ninja wannabe

a friend introduced me an online buying site and it's real hilarious shit, oh to me at least. so much that i LOL-ed for the whole night while surfing it till 6am. i've got no clue whether it is legal. so let me declare that:
1) no part of this entry is advertising the products shown for real
2) this entry is not created to defame the featured company
3) this entry is created only for one thing, fun

to begin here, i present http://www.tbotech.com/ which markets self defence products.

Stun Master pretty young ladies out there, you might need to carry this in your prada or lv handbag. it costs 80 bucks but protects your chastity from big bad wolves. it has got a warranty of life-time too. check it out, it is good investment.

WildFire Pepper Spray

this is yet another useful self defence tool that is highly effective. however, i think it crossed the line of self defence. read on.

WildFire pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. It will induce coughing, choking and nausea, as well as dilating the eye capillaries resulting in temporary blindness. The mucous membranes will swell to prevent all but life support breathing causing the assailant to be temporarily incapacitated. A one second burst of WildFire pepper spray will stop an attacker for up to 45 minutes without causing permanent damage. Both sprays have 6-10 one second bursts and the effective range is 8-10 feet.

am i right? it's more of you attacking the assailant. you would have done more damage to the snatch-thief than he did to you if he's just intending to snatch your purse that holds thirty-five dollars. rofl pwned. poor thief.

after browsing on, i began to realize MOST of the products sold have actually crossed the line. the following products have almost no linkage with self defence.

what does this look like? some toy sold at three-for-ten dollars at the pasa malam? NO! it's a fucking rifle crossbow for your info. oh buddha! crossbow = self defence? i thought crossbow = ancient war/hobby. i mean, with advanced technologies, we don't carry crossbows around in poly and blast off some aggressive beng's head right?

ah, yes. and if you insist on getting a crossbow though you can't fucking aim, here's an aid for you. please do not go "OH DAMN, IT'S FIFTEEN DOLLARS!" spare a thought for others. your mere fifteen bucks could save innocent lives.

Havok

i LOVE this to the core. sexy isn't it? so much that i figured out how i could buy it. imagine whizzing around town like a super hero ninja and showering a sky of ninja stars on the baddies. the hero will go broke or something. about 12 bucks for a star. i think it is more cost efficient to buy a revolver and a dozen of magazines.

anyway i can't throw stars for nuts. maybe i'll get these cheaper ones for a start.

Ninja Climbing Set
check out the ninja foot spikes, hand claws and grappling hook. it's so LOL. who in this urban city needs that? equipped with that, maybe i can get into istana within a few leaps and say HELLO to mr s r nathan. (: see, having all these self defence weapons and gadgets, WHO NEEDS TO PLAY MAPLE STORY? WHO NEEDS TO BE AN ASSASSIN IN ORDER TO THROW STARS? rofl.

and by the way, i saw the above at the bottom of the webpage. WHOA! supported by major credit cards, meaning high chance that it's legal. peeps, get your defence gadgets into the cart today!

Other products
-tasers
-bear sprays
-pepper spray rings
-maces
-voice changers
-handcuffs
-police batons

enjoy.

Monday blues + 10 hours in school = ?

i've checked out my new timetable for the semester. at first i was kind of happy because i saw the right-most column blank and thought friday's an off. but awww, it's the saturday column actually. so with no delay, i had a quick glance through it to see how unlucky can i get.

monday, 8 am to 6 pm with two hours of break. OI! TEN HOURS?! I GO KINDERGARTEN FOR TWO HOURS PLUS, SECONDARY SCHOOL FOR ABOUT FIVE HOURS. NOW POLY TEN HOURS, UNI TWENTY HOURS IS IT? okay la, luckily it isn't everyday.

i hope the lab lesson in between the two breaks is not compulsory. this way, i can nap or go somewhere to bum around. i know school's on, we as students should start studying or even look like we are studying BUT BUT BUT, i have five hours of the same lecturer, four to c programming and one to semester project. pray hard the lecturer isn't boring or confusing because i think c programming is similar to java programming in some way.

anyway, after all these shit above its tuesday! where school starts at 3.10pm and ends at 6pm. meaning... AFTER LESSONS ON MONDAY CAN PARTY! aiya, but who can party with me? boo.

wednesday and thursday isn't as bad as an armageddon but yes, friday again is a ten-hour day at school with eight hours of lessons. thinking on the bright side, maybe those e-learning and self-learning aren't compulsory. okay, chuck these aside and enjoy the last 7 days.

by the way, the traffic police suspended my dad from driving for three months. isn't that bad but he has got to attend some course costing $73.50. some course at east coast road safety park a maybe? seventy-three dollars and fifty cents? good business huh.

We hit the roads once again

hi, i'm back from road trip 2005 (part 2) this morning and have brought back some pictures as i promised. wonder why do we go for such trips to get tired, dirty and muscule strains? we ourselves don't know why but after pondering, we came up with 3 reasons to it.

1) we are adventurous people with relatively big balls.
2) cycling within east coast park = wuss.
3) once in a while, we just have to remind ourselves how damn lucky we are to have public transport, unlike in some countries, africa for instance, where people walk to and fro the sahara desert barefooted.

the roadtrip unfolds.

at 9 plus, desmond and I cabbed to ecp first to grab a few bikes before the rental shops closes for the day. we took new bikes with acceptable suspension and it was quite cheap; 8 bucks for each for overnight. the rental shop ah ma was so nice that i wanted to call her grandma. she borrowed us flashing lights and a big chain lock. (we were stupid for this once, taking the flashing lights as reflectors and kept complaining why the heck no light was reflected from it for the first 2 checkpoints.)

allow me to advertise for this shop for quality services.

the owner told us that we need not return the bikes personally if we were too tired by then.

retarded. the 'reflectors' could only be seen when flash was used.

darren and johny reached slightly later and at around 10, zak the king joined us. we labelled him hero because he can cycle from balestier to ecp in merely 10 minutes. besides that, he cuts the traffic like tofu. beat that both. he's the real bad boy since he still joined us though there's school for him tomorrow.

presenting zak the king, who's only 15 and has attained superb biking tactics like cutting buses.

check point #1: how romantic
we left ecp and zak lead us down to kallang waterfront. the scenery by the river at night was nice but no pictures. i don't risk getting unwanted attention, like being interviewed by mediacorp for publishing unhealthy materials. xiaxue did, see?

check point #2: the greatest fall of all time
in the future for your safety, never listen to emo while cycling. i repeat. NEVER LISTEN TO EMO WHILE CYCLING. i was listening to the song 'the greatest fall of all time' and that's it. whamp! and i got it.

while gunning down the park connector beside esplande, i skidded on some mud and my bike was flung 10 metres. i was thrown foward 20 metres like a bean bag and landed safely, in a pool of crimson blood.



OKAY, kidding. i wouldn't be blogging here and would be knocking on heaven's door instead if that had happened. actually, i was speeding down the park connector and had a rather bad fall after my front wheel skidded on a blob of mud. i lay on the pavement waiting for the pain to cease before i got up again.

my elbow wasn't spared.

my limbs aren't spared either.

the greatest fall of all time indeed. my mum did NOT abuse me for your info.

but thinking on the bright side, i was kind of relieved because... heaven wasn't harsh on my balls!!! luckily i was thrown off the bike a little. else daddy would have lost 50% chances of getting grandchildren.

the last thing i saw before i fall.

sorry, but for some damn reason, blogger doesn't allow me to upload more pics. i'll continue in the next post.

continued

YAY! can upload pics again. oh ya, and by the way, here was roughly when we dumbos realized there's a switch behind the rumoured 'reflector'. it's a flashing light after all!

this was under a bridge, where i rested after the fall and where zak fell asleep.

so dark. thankfully no extra freaky kawaii-neh-glare-upwards head popped in.

oi! fall down already, still can smile?

our little friend.

check point #3: singapura, oh singapura
this is just a little down the road. in fact, it supposed to be check point #2 if i didn't fall. with renewed vigour, the injured man hopped onto his bike and we cycled down to merlion park, a memorable place to lepak. this was when the pain sets in. ouch. it didn't hurt as much when i just fell, but no sweat. that is what it takes to be a man, LOL. we lay on the stone steps by the singapore river and gazed at the stars. suddenly, we felt lame and mimiced the bangla prank call. rofl. darren's obsessed with geylang or something. he kept repeating, "next stop go geylang leh!" for 324589073425 times.

i love singapore.

this is the platform above the river at merlion park.
i dated with a girl at the very spot where the light is 2 years ago.
the fluorescent was fused back then. hah.

check point #4: pool junction
after finishing our lame jokes for the moment, we headed for geylang pool juntion at middle road. it drizzled suddenly and we sped up to reach our checkpoint. we went for a quick prata bite at the indian mama and proceeded to pj to pot a few balls since the drizzle turned heavier.

check this out if you play pool.

check point #5: darren's geylang!
the rain stopped and we headed for darren's favourite! finally, we found out that he isn't that desperate. he just wanted to go geylang because there's some ramadan pasa malam going on and there's loads of food being sold. we all felt cheated. we reached there by 3am and this is what we saw...

dissapointment, like my results.

damn it. the rain actually stopped for a half-time break before it went into play again. we took shelter at some 24-hour mc donald's and waited for the full-time whistle.

check point #6: random
despite the rain, we felt that we shouldn't delay any more and braved the rain since it wasn't that heavy. we cycled towards town in search of 24-hour food areas. zak parted with us there and we continued looking for food. we found a mc donald's at lido and swensens at crown prince hotel. of course, we took the economy one.

i'm lovin' it.

we rested and planned the timing and route for our last 2 check points.

check point #7: the forbidden route
it's all decided here. we'll make a quick return by entering the the highway nearby. sorry, no pics here. it was 5.10am already and we couldn't delay anymore as the traffic will get heavier soon. with heavier traffic, it's also likely that we get booked by the coppers. by the way, it's an $80 fine each if we got caught. on reaching the entrance of the highway, we switched off our flashing lights and pushed our bikes up to the peak.

check point #8: the grand final
we helped each other's bike over the highway barrier and got ready for the free roller coaster ride. off we went downslope! that was the 'highest' part of the whole trip. we bolted down and reached the exit of the highway in one single piece. praise all the gods! for this is a multi-religion nation. after all the thrill, we travelled a rather long route back to OUR HOLY LAND, ecp mc donald's! it was 6.10am by then, exactly an hour after leaving from lido's mc donald's.

check point #9: home sweet home
we had breakfast and chatted till when the bicylce shop was about to be opened. this was the last time we had to get on a bicycle for the day. we cycled back to the bicycle shop to return the bikes. getting onto the bicycle seat after resting for so long was a torture! it's similar to having a 30mm-diameter-iron-nail up your ass in case you don't know. the last check point was travelled to by cab. how lucky are we.

damn the mud blob. now, simply taking off my shirt could make me curse and swear a thousand times.

complaints aside, we all look forward to road trip 2006!!

Ahlemak! here comes mr MUTHU!

i have the weirdest nightmare, trust me. do share yours with me if you think yours is even weirder. these usually occur after heavy suppers. weeks back, i had one about being chased by a dinosaur. that really sucks, there you are running like hell for your life and the dino catches up within several steps.

okay, now the real thing. i actually laughed at some parts although it's a nightmare. this is how it went. i was an assassin for no damn reason and was assigned to kill somebody in SA but i didn't know who or can't remember. my mission partner is really out of blue. he's some primary school friend that i haven't seen for ages and i didn't know why the hell he appeared in my dream. the worse part was carrying the gun, in singapore especially. we disguised ourselves as students of the school and searched the building for don't-know-who. finally, i chickened and out also preached to my partner some buddha scriptures that killing is wrong. here comes the funny part, probably to sa students only. we were at the 4th level around breaktime, thinking of how will we have our weapons disposed and mr muthu the discipline master happened to be on patrol duty.

"oi, the two boys over there. don't pretend not to see me and stay put."
facing me he said, "you, from 4st is it? i'll tell gordon goh about it."

oh christ, he actually remembered me and is going to complain to gordon goh, damn! next, we were brought to the yellow box (the place for the naughty boys to stand in) and i finally woke up after standing for some time.

remember boys, you are liable to be sent down to the yellow box for loitering around classroom blocks during break time yo.

Bat me out please.

i'm rotting. i was trying to sleep since 12.30am and failed terribly. the past 2 hours, almost 3 was spent listening to my mp3 hoping i can fall asleep.

there's only about 2 weeks plus to the new semester and i'm dreading it. it has got nothing to do with school but just the timing. i hate the waking up part. i want to have a road trip before school starts. the last one was so damn fun. taking a bike on the highways all over singapore and finally stopping at jalan kayu, the 'holy' land for supper. in case you are wondering, it's bicycle and not motorbike. bike just sounds nicer. if there gonna be a road trip, i promise pictures to be up.

now i'm hungry again. i'm craving for xiao long bao from ding tai feng, laksa from jalan berseh and marche. drooling already? off to raid the refrigerator.

Twenty-six-pointer

dad just received a letter from the traffic police which looks like this.

26/24. wow, dad exceeded the maximum marks. now this is bad. the letter states that he will have his driving license suspended for less than 3 years. he needs to drive to work and somtimes drive around while working. how inconvenient. all jay chou's fault. my dad seemed to pick up speeding since initial-d was out.

of course, being in a democractic nation like singapore, we are given choices. not much though, just like the president election.

A) have the driving license surrendered after 14 days.
B) give explanations on why the driving license should not be suspended.

well, i wonder how many offenders did not have their license suspended after the officials have read them. or worse, a 7 year-old kid who is paid $3.55 an hour is assigned to collect all these appeal letters from the mail box and stuff it down the paper shredder repeatedly. okay, maybe it isn't that bad. now, it's time to think about how the letter should be written.

LETTER 1
to whom it may concern:
hello there. i'm 60 years old this year and my sons are not married. please be magnanimous and do not suspend my driving license.

LETTER 2
to whom it may concern:
greetings to my beloved traffic policemen who have braved dangers to preserve peace and uphold the law for the past decade or so. today, i am here to reason out why my driving license should not be suspended.

firstly, i would like to mention the quote "country before self". i'm sure you know what i mean. if you don't, spare me a few seconds to point out to you. i need a vehicle to work efficiently, so that i can contribute to the annual gross domestic product. in other words, let me draw you an equation for clearer understanding: me not working efficiently = drop in country's gdp. i'm sure you wouldn't want the nation's gdp to drop even by 0.001 just because of a blue collar worker like me.

secondly, i'm speaking of being infleunced. i'm sure that all of us know that since god/nuwa/allah/lord krishna (choose accordingly to your religion) put life on earth, each individual's way of living was influenced by one or another in some way. by now, you should have guessed i'm talking about initial-d, the racing movie by jay chou, edison chen and a few more. with the entire nation going gaga over initial-d, HOW CAN MY VEHICLE STILL BE CRAWLING LIKE A SNAIL!? i mean i just exceeded the limit by 30km/h at most. didn't even try drifting on any part of cte, pie and tpe.

lastly, i would like to address on the offence "failing to conform to red light signal..." it contributed 12 demerit points and i think it is way too much. i merely followed behind a ten-tonner truck with a huge ass, so huge that it blocked out my entire view, including the traffic light. the next second, when everything gets in view again, all i saw was a red traffic light followed by a flashlight which caught me 'red-handed'. whose fault was it? is it the traffic light being too low, the truck being way too huge or i was just unlucky?

...

i was too lazy to end the letter. anyway, these letters are purely for killing time and nothing else. they harbour no ill-intentions of opposing the traffic laws nor the government and are just products of a 17 year-old kid who is bored during his vacation. if any dear government officials happen to stumble upon these, please be merciful and do not sue him. thank you.

I want taiwan

vampires must be the loneliest freaks in world, much more than shamim, some outcast in my secondary school and last but not least, akon with his favourite song. i am sort of experiencing it now due to a screwed body clock. it's hell silent here at night.

i've slept the whole day, except for 2 hours of gaming and the meals. i was woken by the noise from the television at midnight and wondered when will be the next time i'll be sleeping again. somebody bat me out please?

i'm JEALOUS of yi ting, a good friend of mine whose name confused the blur teachers because it is similar to mine. this is out of point, so ignore it and move on to why i'm jealous. he flew back to taiwan for holiday and instead of missing us good old friends, this is what he got...

millions of shops, colourful streetlights, pretty babes, cosy apartment, liquor, delicious delicacies, old school stuffs and 120 channels on the damn tv.

jealous already? don't worry, you've got me at least. yt gets everything stated above, i get peanuts and unfortunately, NOT t.t durai's peanuts. i think half of his peanut can buy everything in my house. i'm gonna bug yt for a souvenir. that crazy ass told me he might pon poly to have his extended holiday. lucky shit.

now i'm bored. i mean i'm bored since i woke up. so much that i tried to freak myself out with the pranks at liquidgeneration. cheap thrill huh? some are so-not-scary. in fact most are not. usually, a dumb face pops into the screen accompanied by lots of screaming which sound like a lousy screamo band. anyway, if you do check out the site, go under games and try the card trick. do approach me if you are still fooled by a the 'evil man' after a million tries.

i better get out of the house for some fun tomorrow. next, i'll stuff myself with lots of food and try to get sleep. no nightmares please.

my last words: I WANT TO GO TO TAIWAN!

Apologies

i'm feeling DAMN bad.

i just made some girl sad/angry/whatever.

this was what happened. upon 10, i rated some other girl she asked me to, higher than her by some. she got sad over that to the extent of not wanting to talk to me, which i hope is only for the moment please. girls are complicated eh?

i better keep my fucking mouth shut when it comes to comparison betweens girls next time. GAH!

The emo kids are out

another boring, lonely friday night. rofl.

i met up with kc and gang at dhoby gaut station at around 9.30 having a bad feeling that nothing much can be done this night. i was right indeed. i rang up pool junction for table reservation and this sweet voice told me i'll be put on the loooooooooooooooong waiting list, so long that she haven't call me back now, where i'm already in the comfort of home.

up next, we tried labyrinth and pool fusion with fail. kc suggested klassic but that place do not allow slippers while two of the gang were wearing them.

my desperation for some fun lead me to drawing up a flawless plan to enter klassic:
1) we have 5 guys, 3 with shoes and 2 without.
2) 3 of us with shoes will enter the pool hall and get a table and the far end, far away from the counter.
3) 2 idiots will remove their stinky shoes and the remaining guy will bring out the shoes.
4) the 2 morons out there will put on the shoes and the 3 of them will join in.

how retarded, but it was already 12 plus and we were too damn lazy to move our asses, even by an inch. we all have already lost the pooling climate and ended up lepak-ing outside nafa. we thought of getting beer but not a trace of alcohol could be found in the two mama-shops we went. weird, maybe they got raided or something. we emo kids sat and watched people passing by as it's the only thing that entertained us more than watching our toe nails grow.

the midnight charge had already started and it would be a waste to cab home for doing nothing. so we had no choice but to go the sucky pool hall at paradiz. i shall not elaborate on the environment but here's a clue. it's a place that no one normally can get me to go to, even though i'm threatened with a double-barrelled shotgun. but tonight was an exception, i went bonkers.

we left at 1 plus and decided to visit the toilet at the singapore pools collection center. this was when, one of the most exciting happenings occured to twist the lonely night. guess what? we saw a naked couple humping on each other vigorously, emitting moans and groans which echoed through the cold empty washroom, sounding like huge dinosaurs mating.









turned on? aha, FOOLED!

okay, bullshit aside. we saw this man with his belt unbuckled and pants unzipped slumped across the floor. whoa, another murder scene for a triple-9 episode i thought but no, its just some stupid drunkard who collasped while peeing. how dumb, he'll be bloody embarrassed the next morning, finding out he was drown in his own pee when the toilet cleaner wakes him up. after aaron snapped a few highly-artisitc pictures of him, we left to cab home.

i'm fungry. so much that i wanted to rob the mc donald's delivery rider when it whizzed past my cab.

Drink GAIN IQ!

i've checked out what elective i'm posted to and its some problem solving and creative thinking skills poop. this a yet another reason for me to go party. please note that i'm NOT dying to get into that course because i'm not creative or i can't think. there's only ONE damn reason to it - this is the only non-examinable module i can choose. i don't want to risk doing badly or failing foreign languages, so there. but once again, can creativeness be taught? i thought only drinking gain milk powder can increase your creativeness.
being a good boy who wants good results, i hacked into the school server and obtained a test paper for that module. i assume that we gonna be tested on that so fellow MIT students, here is the test paper.

blogspot isn't generous enough to upload it in actual size. i shall be nice and type out the questions for you guys. thank me?

Question 1
a) How do you drive a straw into a potato? (4 marks)
b) State another method of doing it. (2 marks)

Question 2
How do you balance a book on a piece of vanguard sheet? (4 marks)

Question 3
Xiao Ming started using MSN messenger and uses "Xiao Ming" as his nick. After sometime, he found it very dull. You are his friend. State what you can do to help him. (5 marks)
*IMPORTANT! 5 MARKS!

being a nicer guy than i normally am today, i have decided to give you all the answers so you can mug in advance. do give me a treat or two if you score an A or Distinction for this module 6 months later.

Answers

Qn1
a) hold the straw like how your counter-terrorist model in CS holds his dagger. using your thumb, cover one end of the straw. now, aim and stab the potato.
if you are creative enough, the straw will penetrate your potato deeply. hur.

b) instead of stabbing the potato like most boring peeps will do, do it otherwise. cover one end of the straw with your thumb and hold it tight. next, slam the potato towards the straw!
always remember that there's more than one way of doing things.

Qn2
fold the vanguard into a structure which looks like this from side-view.
/\/\/\/\/
the bends provide more support and therefore, even a thick dictionary can be balanced on the vangaurd.

Qn3
teach Xiao Ming how to beautify his nick using capital and small letters, asterisks, slashs, numbers and other symbols which doesn't mean anything at ALL.
e.g. `~*/~'''{xIa0-_-mInGxXx}'''~\*~`
this can be done in a trillion ways and lecturers will accept them as the right answer.

that's all folks, mug hard and don't let yourself and your parents down.

Wah lao eh! five marks also kay gao

okay, good morning. its bloody early for me now and following will be reasons to why the hell am i up at this time. somebody told me that results gonna be out at 12 midnight sharp and its bullshit. i stayed till almost 4 and decided to just sleep with no fear. about 7.30 just now, i woke up due to anxiety stress the suspense i'm being kept in.

like earlier on in the morning, i carefully typed in my admin number and password, just this time, ready to strike the monitor or keyboard if the screen shows messages like 'no results yet.' then, i hit the key of fate, which is 'enter' in disguise. following, it shown this message: attention all NS eligible students, if you are still pursu... sometimes, i just feel like evolving into a huge giant and kick the school. can't they just show the damn results? every guy will be thinking about if they passed or scored at that moment, not when will they be camouflaged in leaves and carrying a gun. i had to clicked 'OK' for it to go away and finally, i saw the real thing, something i had always both wanted, and didn't want to see.

guess what? what i saw made me screammmmm. so loud that anyone within 10km radius could have heard it. beloved seng kang and hougang residents, if you do hear anything close to a man being stabbed in the balls, you've got my sincere apologies for that. drama aside, this i what i saw.

MULTIMEDIA COMPUTER ------------------- B+
JAVA PROGRAMMING ----------------------- B+
DIGITAL MEDIA & DESIGN ------------------ A
ELECTRONICS FUNDAMENTALS ------------ B+
MATHEMATICS 1 ----------------------------- C
COMMUNICATION SKILLS ------------------- B
SEMESTRAL PROJECT 1 ---------------------- Pass
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT ------------------ B+

fuck, the B+s could have been As. its just a mere less than 5%.

multimedia computer: thinking back, i knew where i lose marks. project and the final papers. only 4 of 5 questions that i spotted appeared. those peeps, you'll know who you are. WHERE IS MY MARCHE?!

java programming: i was ambushed by the debugging section, managing only to find 2 out of 10 errors. that's 16 marks down the kallang drain for buddha's sake.
















digital media design: my project really saved my ass. i typed out all my notes the night before like all other papers and LOL, like what i always told my brother. lie on the bed study, falling asleep within 5 minutes. next morning wake up, panick.

electronic fundamentals: the whole course was very smooth sailing till the common test. screw the person whose handphone vibrated throughout the whole paper. alright, the sentence before this is just a consolation.

mathematics 1: i'm glad that i survived this nuclear explosion. i didn't know how or why, so probably, the only explaination is that many failed for that. moderation works wonders.
















communication skills: good enough, B shows that i'm an average communicator

semester project: there's only 2 outcomes and i knew its a pass from the very start. hope the project wins me a prize too! pray hard it gonna be something like a laptop (dream on) and not anything close to peanuts and crackers.

personal development: DAMN! i expected an A or even distinction for this! for all the effort i've put in, i've got only a B+. but this course is really bullshit. it required me to do stupid things like making devices that protect eggs from 4-storey falls. it helped me to improve my pool techniques though. want to bum around? select pd for your elective.

speaking of elective, i hope they assign me to the creative thinking and problem solving module because i heard it involves neither thinking nor creativity. pray hard that they will NOT chuck me into a language class that teaches 'bonjour' or 'kawaii neh'. still, i've a strong feeling i'll get posted into the maths enrichment class.

alright, i want to sleep. basketballing under darren's healthy lifestyle programme later.

A healthy liver breaks down about 10 grams of alcohol in 1.5 hours

damn, results gonna be out in less than one and half hour. i'm quite positive about failing at least one subject. dreams told me that but fuck it. results aside and i've got something ready which can be used for all events! coming up next, we have... TADA!

isn't this a need when you are feeling happy, neutral or sad? let me give examples to illustrate a clearer picture. during birthday parites, everyone is happy and everybody drinks. when jielun and i are bored in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, we drink. and when people are sad after receiving bad results or being ditched, they drink too. these are one of the greatest rewards or consolation see?

here are other events where you can grab a few bottles.

• stay overs
• barbeques
• chalets
• welcome parties
• by the beach during the evening or night
• in the midst of triad clashes
• losing your damn job
• farewell parties
• house warmings
• playing indian poker
• when you feel like drinking for no damn reason

cheers! and bear in mind a healthy liver breaks down about 10 grams of alcohol in 1.5 hours. stay tuned and i might be back soon to share about my results.

Mom's punk

mom's hip. she listens to rock in the past and now started to appreciate punk rock! aunty rocker man! guess what she listens to? not those radio songs by green day or simple plan. she enjoys listening to the used, mcr and the ataris but thinks with broken wings and thrice are too heavy for her. still, i think she pwns any ah beng/lian whose ears revolve all around boulevard of broken dreams or american idiot, having the guts to call themselves HARDCORE FANS. i think she can name more than just helena or i'm not okay when asked about mcr. LOL.

maybe i'll get her a 'the used' band shirt if i can find one.

I guess it's ok I puked the day away.

I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way.

and if you want me back.

you're gonna have to ask.

nicer than that.

yit jing > that little ginnah

its 5.19am now and its raining outside. the newspaper boy is almost here and i'm still wide awake. i tried so hard to sleep for the past few hours, harder than how i tried for the 'o' levels back last year but still couldn't. my bodyache is killing me, so much that plainly lying down on my comfy bed feels like i'm on a bed of nails. thanks to darren and his healthy-lifestyle programme which is specially planned for the unfit me who haven't been doing any sports for the past 10 months.

this was what i did, gym followed by basketball. it was too much for a start judging from how i panted and gasped for oxygen. i saw this thin indian guy in the gym lifting a weight with two disks as big as pizza hut's large pizza pan. i felt belittled. why? the disks of the dumbbell i worked on was no bigger than a sushi plate off the belts of sakae. the gym is really no place to pick a fight. i should start jogging after these ache wears off. i'll be going NS in less than 4 years and i don't want to be some weak tofu soldier who drags all the millitary dogs out for a poop.

speaking of basketball, though i'm no pro, i've got some to comment on their attitude.

take a look at majority of the players, or rather people who play basketball bumming around the courts. little ginnahs in the typical converse jersey shorts, pink pmk tee/oversized polo, trial slippers and sometimes a pirated cap from the pasar malam. familliar? some are so puny and yet have the balls to scream profanities across the whole court in length for no reason. HEY HEY HEY, its not like you are at home or your own blog where you can shout "fuck" like this. this reminds me of this little ginnah who seeks refuge at the public basketball near my house (probably because his mom couldn't control him and have made the painful decision of severing ties with her brat son.) i happened to play against him during a team friendly and somehow offended him just by marking him closely. HELLO, if doing that offends you, i suggest you can go screw the world. and now like almost a year later, he still stares and me with his ugly you-want-to-fight-ah face when i walk pass the court. i think he'll probably have his first heart-attack at 25 because i'll give him a provoking smug that makes him frown everytime.

conclusion: yit jing > that little ginnah
in all aspects except reciting hokkien vulgarities and looking and being stupid.
i hope he get to read this and got pwned by me. rofl.

All time favourite yo?

last night, i was browsing through blogskins hoping to give it a new outlook. i came across emo kinds which look a little poseur, nice rocker skins, pinky skins and anime skins. let me reason out why didn't i chose either of them.

emo - i'm not a guy who whines about being ditched and then wanting to slit my wrist.
rocker - they are cool and most featured a guitar or two. i can't play one, so there.
pinky - i shouldn't comment.
anime - i don't fancy any japanese anime.

okay, here comes the moment. i came across this template, a very very unique one, THAT ROSE MY BLOOD PRESSURE 30 TIMES! if i could, i would have blasted the screen with a sawn off shotgun. i know the monitor screen is truly pure and innocent, but what showned wasn't. long story short, we have our all time favourite, applause!

blood pressure risen? if it didn't, good for you or rather, bad for you.

nonsense aside, let me continue with how i ended up with this two-coloured template. i found a one featuring matchbook romance which i think is nice but the text area is too small. finally, i decided to use this one for the time being. i know its a little plain and i apologize for that, but you should also thank me loads for not using the ALL TIME FAVOURITE.

this is something i came across while surfing the net for funny pictures, NOT porn okay? this is my kind intention to let those whose blood pressure rose like mine relax, chill and laugh. enjoy.

My comeback

6 months passed and i'm back again. the urge to blog hits again maybe because i'm feeling too bored during the holidays now. let me start off with a sequel of my previous entry.

the bitchass crew of my ex-working place flew back to hong kong and the case was stagnant probably until the day i die. the boss (the one who spoke like he is having an orgasm , remember?) stayed however, but HAHA, i can see that his business went down. maybe its me! see the difference asshole, yo!? okay, don't bother cursing him here. judging from how he screwed up with the cash register back then, i conclude that he doesn't know how to switch on a computer or what the hell internet is.

so, i shall take it as he is pwned by me, and no re! rofl.