Thanks, to Shirleen who is really bored, I'm back again. She found another version of the comedy lecture which was aired in the previous post, and this one shows the mysterious, sexy, bald lecturer with a moustache!
For the patient or bored peeps who want another laugh, here you go.
And for the ones who are itching like hell to know his appearance...
Sexier than Rakesh Roshan, heh.
Hello, and I'm back to share a little things here. You ought to check this locally made video out man.
I like the way he gave his after thoughts. And some of the comments and improvement feedbacks are good entertainment material. I won't say much but he's cute for a lecturer huh? He actually went the extra mile to print the survey forms on transparencies to broadcast them during his lecture comedy show. Singapore's very first campus Russell Peters man! The only thing that bugs me and itches me not to know is HOW THIS LECTURER ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE. Why comments revolve around his moustache, being bald headed and sexy.
Well, maybe he looks like this...
I don't know who is this since I found his picture by Googling "bald bollywood" and he's called Rakesh Roshan. Obviously some Bollywood actor, ticks for bald and moustache but Shirleen just doesn't find him sexy.
Or maybe...
Needless to say, Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948). Anyway, I just found out that his full name is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi and 'Mahatma' is some title for him which means 'Great Soul'. Alright, enough of history lessons here. You can read up more about this Saint here.
-Confidential Profile-
Name : Unknown
Nickname : The Butcher
Age : 20-24 years old approximately
Height : 180(+3/-3)cm
Weight : Estimated at least 90+kg
Nationality : China
Location : Singapore
Haunts : NYP Block L basketball court
Speciality : Slimy Collision™
Fig.1 - front view
Fig.2 - side view
Fig.3 - back view
Photographer: AO
-End of Profile-
Hello friends. The new semester had started for a week and I'm sure some of you guys are really tired from morning lessons and stressed by the alienating new modules that are going to stick to you like uhu glue for the next 4 months plus. So just let me just introduce you a character that I've encountered for quite a few times on the basketball court at school. Take it as lameness, leisure or even a safety warning. Enjoy.
His nick didn't came to my mind at all in the first place, but after Theodore called him The Butcher, my mind doesn't reject it. So meaning, it just seem to suit him somehow. After some analysis and cross-referencing, I finally understood the reason behind it. His physique actually bears resemblance to that of a traditional chinese butcher. You know, obese and sweaty. Wears a tiny piece of vest that barely covers the shoulders. Alot of chest hair that an ant may think it's in the Amazon rainforest if it unintentionally found its way to the moist hairy chest. Enough said, I think you get the idea.
Anyway, below are 2 of the basketball fouls that I think he's commiting every now and then.
Technical Foul - Misconduct that officials believe are detrimental to the game; can be assessed against team members on the floor or seated on the bench. penalized by a free-throw opportunity to the non-offending team; also called a "T".
Personal Foul - Contact which occurs with an opponent after the ball has become live that may result in injury (including a push, hold, trip, hack, elbow, restrain or charge).
Now, why do I say that? Let me do a breakdown analysis.
Case study 1:
"Technical Foul - Misconduct that officials believe are detrimental to the game..."
He goes shirt-less on the court 24/7 with all the slime on him. Defenders get literally slided off him and he finds his way to the basket. People get disgusted and might not want to guard against him. Isn't that misconduct which is detrimental to the game? I would like to say, Hellooooooo? please put on your shirt, friend.
Case study 2:
"Personal Foul - Contact which occurs with an opponent... restrain or charge)."
Accordingly to the English dictionary:
re‧strain – verb (used with object)
1. to hold back from action; keep in check or under control; repress: to restrain one's temper.
2. to deprive of liberty, as by arrest or the like.
3. to limit or hamper the activity, growth, or effect of: to restrain trade with Cuba.
Yesterday, he rose to the ring with the ball while his chest slapped against Xavier's face (yes, lips included,) causing him to flinch despite me trying to support him from behind, but it was of no avail because the resultant crashing force seemed to have overpowered the sum of Xavier's and my weight. If I were Xavier, I would feel so yucked that I would want to rip off my lips and go for twenty showers. Without the weight factor, I think the slime is already a killer. Once again, put on a shirt, friend. Respect the game yo.
I think I seriously should put on more weight before guarding against him again. There was once where he butted me off and I had to stagger backwards for half a court's width, just to absorb the collision impact so as not to fall down flat immediately. So meanwhile, maybe I'll just dress like this if I have to play against him.
Hello all, and Mr Jack is back once again to share with you his adventures.
I've been working from Monday to Wednesday as a waiter, no.. handphone promoter, no.. HOW ABOUT A CEMENT PLANT CONSTUCTION WORKER?! Unexpected huh? I just wonder how many local guys actually do that kind of job since some are either rich snobs, spoilt-like-hell brats or balloon-kids, a term I always used for overly pampered kids. Alright, that's besides the point. Let's hop on a lorry and off we go.
Dad's boss came to fetch us with an experienced-looking lorry in the noon. Why do I call it that was simply because it really looked experienced, with all the rough scratches, dirt, dusty wheels and some badly dented if not, broken rails at the back. Seemed like it went around the world, bypassed Ukraine, Italy and survived countless Mafia wars before landing itself below my block at the loading/unloading point to fetch us.
My dad's boss is young, in his early thirties. And their conversations sounds unusual, the fact that my dad seemed to be speaking like the real boss. But well, he in a way requested dad to help supervise because he still have got alot to learn from and as the chinese saying goes, the 'old' ginger's always spicier. So dad's old ginger, HAHA. Sounds like joke. When I first heard them speak, there's really alot of construction jargon. They kept mentioning it'll be a huge headache transporting the 'tank' to the new site and I thought: Tank only mah, what's so hard about it?
So after reaching the cement plant, I saw the bloody 'tank' and I changed my mind.
This is the drainage at the cement plant site. I've got no clue what the fluid was supposed to be but it definitely looks polluted and the dust collected at the surface was so thick that the fluid became stagnant. While I was working there, you guys might be worrying about high PSI but I swear that was the last thing on my mind - reason being it was so clouded with concrete dust and etc untill the PSI probably was than 250 there and there's no difference; It doesn't matter at all what the actual PSI was. Anyway, thanks for your* well wishes and concern.
The above two are equipments tools weapons that I spotted lying around the place. The weren't the only ones, there were other pointy ones and lethal-looking ones. The first picture's still reasonable but for the latter one, what the hell is a mini-parang doing at a cement plant? Sounds like yet another episode of crime watch huh?
This was one of the few stray dogs that run around the site looking for leftovers. They were extremely shy to humans but if I could, I would want to take them all home for a good scrub. And some side info here, dogs are smart okay - they sense falling bricks better than humans do. On top of that, never have I heard of guard dogs being struck by durians for sleeping under durain trees at my uncle's plantation.
Thinking about laws enforced by the government in my usual daily life, a construction site can get quite 'bo zheng hu' (ungoverned) at times. My colleague answered that "Here, it's toilet everywhere," when I asked where to settle my nature calls. But of course, there's still a headquarters for huge business models...
And welcome to the headquarters which looks similar to the bathroom in SAW (the gruesome movie. Any bells rung?) I can see that not much people uses that but it's hard to guess why is it in a pretty bad state.
Okay, time for some random pictures.
Free fall to hell.
The blades that mixes the cement. You wouldn't want to imagine if someone falls into it. Poor fellow sure GG.
This was one of my jobs besides breaking walls and chiselling off unwanted cement that were accumulated. Take a closer look and it's actually a joint. My colleague used something like a brazer to melt the head of the bolt before I chiselled the rest of the bolt out together with the nut.
My play stuffs. Extreme top, a cold chisel which is known as 'zham kia' in constructional terms, below it a hammer and finally the stubborn headless bolt, washer and nut that I've hammered out.
Back to the 'bo zheng hu' issue, I see people littering everywhere and did the same too. There's no rubbish bin within 200-300 metres radius anyway. So I was drinking a can of coke up at the plant and decided to be playful by throwing the empty can down (you don't get to commit killer-litter everyday and being able to get away with it you see.) I thought dad'll nag a little about that but he doesn't seem to be bothered at all.. "Bing! Bang! Piang!"
To be contiuned... (Blogger decided to be a pain in the ass by not letting me upload more pictures.)
I looked down to see these...
Fragments of metal frames that took flight from somewhere above. I was like "Whoa, whoa!" and before I could even scratch my nose...
The entire frame came crashing down, landing half of itself on the roof of a porch. Well that wasn't all too. And finally, down came the roofing too. That marked the greatest killer-litter I've witnessed in my life of 18+ years. What are durian shells, bicycles or even a television man? Still, do NOT try this at home kids.
No ladder? No problem.
I guess I was right about zero safety. Try picture what happens if the joker at the cockpit fiddles with the controls or if he dozes off and happen to crash his head on the wrong buttons. Good game to our friends up in the scoop.
Budget fireworks.
Whoops, almost forgotten my about my colleagues so I shall just end it with introducing them. Honestly I don't know their names and they don't know mine either, but I'll just say what I can.
This is one of my 3 colleauges, probably the most vulgar of all. He has got a car and motorcycle in Malaysia, and bikes over to work everyday. He's efficient which do not exclude getting his lunch and finding a good spot to nap after lunching. He's favourite quote is 'puki ayam' which literally means 'chicken's vagina' which actually means 'prostitute's vagina' which eventually equate to 'fucked up' accordingly to Darren. He's correct I guess, since everytime when we were in a sticky situation, my colleague says that. Besides that, he sometimes employs 'kanina' which sounds rather funny as it is inaccurate. My dad calls him something that sounds like 'Osama' and my other colleague nicknamed him 'ji bai kia' which means 'vagina kid' literally. Crude, but funny thing is when he was called that, he responds like he was being called in his proper name. *roll eyes*
The one on the left is my dad and the one on the right with the welding mask is my the other colleague (yes, the one that calls the one above 'ji bai kia'.) I don't know his name but knows that he's more updated than I do about entertainment news. I only learnt that Christopher Lee fell out with Fann Wong after some drunk-driving accident after he mentioned about it. He even commented that Chris had actually blew his chances in the coming Star Awards. Whatever it is, it doesn't affect me and sometimes I don't really trust the media. They simply love making an elephant out of an ant. Away with the sidetrack, this colleague of mine bears 'kanina' as his favourite quote. Can't find the tool he needs, 'kanina'. Brazer jammed also 'kanina'. So it should be a quite a surprise if you don't find me swearing after being with them for 3 days. My dad's a little different though, he has got no fixed swear word, swears only when it makes sense and when he needs to get certain point across. Or maybe he was maintaining his image in my presence but it doesn't matter actually, lah.
Lastly, this is me at work. People call me either 'aye' or something like 'sai lou' which means child or kid. 18 also kid ah?! But nevermind la, maybe just because they know me as their fellow colleague's son. He doesn't swear at all during work and doesn't even talk. He just followed any instructions given in mandarin since he understood lesser than a quarter of the discussions which were made in Malay and some other dialects. (Somehow I only identified the vulgarities, HAHA.)
Anyway, we aren't the only ones around. There are other workers working at other parts of the plant and they all thought I was some new worker. During the first day, I was mistakened as a China man. Second day, some Malay thought I could speak Malay and tried to start a conversation, leaving me like some sotong nodding and shaking my head. Third day, I become some Thai and so, SAWATDEE KRUP, LA GON!
I'm supposed to be in bed, probably lying in my standard favourite position which is stretching my limbs out to be straight. My sleeping posture is besides the point anyway. I've been tossing and turning quite abit on bed and so are my neurons. I'll be glad if anyone wants to help me by batting me out.
As usual, I shared my mess problem whatever-you-think-is-the-right-word (as there's simply no one word that can describe it right now) with Darren. He returned his views which are seemingly right, maybe? He labelled me "being an ass" for thinking too much. I guess he's right, but I haven't found the key to putting it to a stop.
After grouping my random thoughts, I came up with 3 choices which I asked Darren to pick one since I wasn't too sure. So right now... MCQ TIME! The all-time favourite of all students.
Question
So just what the heck is up in Mr Jack's mind?
1) Being an ass
2) Screwed up mentality
3) Wanting to be nice in a way, but overkilled such that no one actually benefits.
"4) All of the above", he immediately jested.
I don't know if I should laugh or something else. I really don't know. I was told the saying which goes, "You can't cook an omelette without breaking a few eggs," which means you can't complete great things without a few casualties, accordingly to Darren. I don't even want to think about who are the omelette, who is the broken eggs or if the whole kitchen catches fire.
I realized I'm naive. I had always wanted everybody to be happy, at least my family, friends and even acquaintances. On contrary, I had also always told troubled peeps, "If I were to make everybody happy, I would be dead by now."
So now, what am I?
Still tangled in my thoughts now, searching the answer which is the staple in the huge haystack. I can't really entertain you faithful readers now and I sorry. I was watching some videos on youtube for relaxation and now, allow Kim Sang Min, some Korean singer to entertain you instead.
"She's Gone" cover by Kim Sang Min (Live)
"She's Gone" by Steel Heart, the original performers
Compare them and you may just find both the vocalists as good. Kim's Asian some more! I thought only ang moh or malay vocalists can do that! I simply love the way he's able to be in full control of his voice even when he got to scream as he hits the extremely high notes. Notes so high that I'm not capable of singing even if a guitar is being shafted up my ass, or if my balls are being put in between a nutcracker.
I think Kim rocks as much as Steel Heart man! But I've got no slightest clue why 5566 and Energy, 'that' kind of typical bands (you know, and if you don't, no offence) get much more publicity than him. Maybe the word 'fairness' is just created for 'un' to be added in front, to invert the meaning. People have always told me, "Life's no fair game," and I wonder.
Three cheers for Kim to close this entry.
Tangled among 8971412 knots which I don't know whether are dead knots.
Lost in deep thoughts, deeper than the pacific ocean.
The answer seems to be a staple in the haystack.
People have asked me, can friends stay that way forever? Can guys and girls preserve thier close friend status? Do you prefer a best friend or a bunch of close friends? Can parties of a broken BGR remain as, or be friends once again? Have you fell out of a friendship that you think is a great loss to you? Is there eternal friendship?
I've got no definite answer for the above, but can say maintaning or pushing friendship to a higher level is a two-way thing. Change is the only constant, perhaps that's what that makes me think there's no eternal friends or foes.
This is not an advice or EQ question of any kind but just personal thoughts.
Is the cup half-empty or half-full?
Have have you been walked out on or walked out?
Have you lost somebody or somebody have lost you?
Most of the time, I'll like to say the cup is half full, I'm not being walked out on but the opposite and somebody have lost me instead of me losing them.
Sometimes, I wonder why the word 'friend' ends with 'end'.
Do you remember the hottest trend by the sixth year of your primary education - writing in each other's autograph books and leaving messages like "Friends Forever" letting the 'riends' and 'orever' share a bigger 'F'. Are you still talking to them these days? Do you wave and smile when you get to meet them by chance? Do you grab their hands and give a warm handshake over the short coincidental reunion? Or do you both your eyes meet in a familliar manner but later pretend to be strangers.
I don't deny I've totally lost contact with almost all my primary school friends and even more than a handful from secondary school, but I won't say that I've lost them or they've lost me if we are still able to connect after the long absence.
I guess I should end this now, as you might be wondering what the hell I'm churning. Same goes to me as I might just look back in the future and maybe wonder what the hell was I writing too.
ps: Friends, ermm... I not sure to use the word 'friend' or not since I've mentioned about it ending with 'end' but I'll still use it anyway. If you are thinking that our friendship might end one day and it bothers you, thanks for the thought and not to worry, I'll surely be thinking the same. And as I said earlier on that it is a two-way thing, we might already be doing the maintanence, just that we don't realize it. For others whom you probably know who you are, maybe that's the reason why prefer to label you all as 'brother' instead of 'friend'.
Besides the action yesterday, I almost had early dinner with mum and bro at Compass Point's Delifrance. Why almost? Read on.
This is the sign that provided me with an instruction to follow. I did accordingly but after a couple of minutes, no one attended to me. I assumed that the girl at the counter was busy cashiering and decided to give her awhile more. After the customer had made his payment and left, I thought she'll do her job but she started to stone like I was fucking invisible. I took a few steps back to make sure that the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign really existed.
"Excuse me, table for three."
"Take a seat inside while we attend to you."
Unprofessional I would say. They are making customers feel uncertain of what's going on. So after taking a seat and a glance at the menu and staff, I decided it's not value for money at all to dine there. Even more unworthy for me to pay them 10% service-charge, so I left for KFC instead.
After dinner, mum did some shopping at Cold Storage, and as usual, I bummed around looking for beer, at hard liquors, at the roasted section and for weird looking fruits (conjoined apples, oranges that come in irregular forms.)
Now these caught my eyes - Rotten durians. I suspect the man in-charge of packaging is either having a severe case of short-sigtedness or was just sleeping on his job. I inspected it and found the smaller patch to be a gap and inside the it was all black mess. It was so so so so obviously la! And I wondered why no staff noticed.
I don't buy packaged durians anyway. I don't trust the cleanliness since after watching some durian vendor at the market blowing ants off a segment with his mouth. Later saliva fly here and there kena the durian how?! My lao bu say I can't share saliva one leh! Hahahahha.
I cooked late brunch for myself at around four plus today.
Omelette Fried Spicy Noodles with Chilli Squid and Dried Shrimps!
Boring Saturday night again, I met up with Darren in town and decided to grab a bite at Chippy's.
"Hey, give me a fried Ma..."
"Sorry, we are closed."
Disappointed man, was about to order fried Mars bar and cheesy curry chicken but they were closed. The aroma from far gave us false hope!
Anyway, I was telling Darren this' just another boring Saturday and the moment I missed the last train, I got onto a fateful NR6 towards Sengkang interchange, things changed, for the next two hours at least.
I got on the bus and moved to the rear. It was a usual un-starry night, everything was calm. People were half-dozing, some fully dozed and this pair of ladies were open-bitching and then cracking into unfeminine laughters just in front of me.
After a couple of stops, I began to notice something out of the norm. Stood a man, in his late-forties (I suck at guessing ages), looks a little tough with crew-cut, in checkered-collared-short sleeves with black long pants plus leather shoes holding a middle-classed briefcase.
He looked stoned and the main thing that captured my attention was that he kept standing and sitting for 89790097876 times. He seemed to be aimlessly travelling and kept asking a guy in front on the bus route and where to alight if he wanted to get to Sengkang interchange. He even told the guy to remind him when the bus reaches but the guy had to get off somewhere at North Serangoon. Next, he approached the two bitching ladies in front of me. Every several stops, he stood, sat and asked the two ladies "How to get to Sengkang"/"Where to drop"/"Is Sengkang near?" until they got quite pissed because he was constantly breaking their train of bitchings. I fixed my eyes on him, monitoring his slightest motions. He started even weirder practices soon, such as digging his nose as if he's trying to enlarge his nostrils and licking the clock face of his metallic watch like how a psychopath serial-killer licks his blood-stained dagger in a horror flick. From then, I had an imminent feeling that something bad's gonna happen. Maybe I was thinking too much, I thought, since my dad did some basic palm reading on me today and told me I think too much in both good and bad ways. After the bitchy pair alighted, the weird fellow moved slightly towards me and gave me an intimidating stare, almost an I'M-GONNA-KILL-YOU! one. As I said, I was sitting at the rear and he must be staring at me. I turned on my guard and returned him a Hey-I-can-be-friendly-BUT-that-doesn't-mean-I-don't-STING look. There was a moment of silence before the eye-power war broke and..
"This bus goes Sengkang interchange?"
"Yeah."
"Sengkang interchange?"
"Yup, all the way."
He then stood up for the final time and moved to somewhere at the middle. I relaxed for a second or two and continued monitoring him. He was standing next to this couple who were chatting as if he was non-existence. I wondered why they seemed unbothered as the fellow was very close to the girl, so much that the girl would have been greeted by his crotch if she had turned her head left. Besides that, It seemed from my view that the fellow was staring down either at the girl's head or chest. Immediately registered into my mind was Buangkok Green Medical Park escapee, molester or snatch thief ("occupation" arranged in descending order of possibilities.)
I almost didn't blink and continued watching. He shifted his hand towards the girl, as though he was going to tap her shoulder but went lower, looower, loooowerrrr and finally gave her chest a quick single grope. Everything was seen almost in bullet-time by me. (Ermm, The Matrix effect you know?) I was a little stunned but the girl and her brother was probably much more stunned than I was. They frozed for more than five seconds before confirming it was reality and how to react.
"JADSASJDHSAKLSLF!!!"
"ajsfhkljasflsafksf..."
"DSADSADSAFSAFSADDSAFOLJLLKJJH!!!!!"
"asdasjfkhd..."
And someone stopped the bus.
I'm too lazy to type out the details, so long story short, the girl and her brother confronted the molester over the incident or 'accident' as claimed by the molester himself. They confrontation somehow moved to rear, I felt caught in the crossfire and shifted to the middle of the bus.
I could only remember random lines like...
"I'll call the police!"
"You anyhow touch my sister!"
"Sorry"
"I treat you supper."
"I need to work tomorrow."
"I'm on medication."
"You dress sexy and I'm desperate."
"You can go Geylang!"
"I say sorry already what you want me to do?"
He just kept apologizing and giving lame excuses to escape while the other side bombarded at him. People started to get off the bus till there's only the three involved parties, the bus captain, another girl and me. I watched on, not that I wasn't standing up for justice but just on stand-by to tackle him in case he decided to get violent. Fortunately, he was passive.
The police came and took the molester away in handcuffs. The girl signalled an apology to us (captain, the other girl and me) for the delay which was returned by no-prob gestures.
The bus continued the remainder of it's journey peacefully.
After all these observations, besides being a molester, I guess the guy's a mild mental patient who missed a round of medication. Quite saddening, unsure of what to feel but he'd better be what I thought else I'll HAHA at him.
To my dear friend Xiaowei, I suggest you move somewhere else which is not opposite or near any direction of the Buangkok Green Medical Park before you become the next molested or molester, heh.